Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Acronyms and Coffee

OK, so what's the common thread in the title of this post? The Final Jeopardy category is, "Things That Are Annoying Me at the Moment."

The "answer" is - Jeremy is annoyed by people who don't know THIS.

The correct Jeopardy response would be, "What is...what is the definition of an acronym and also that you're supposed to ask someone before refilling their coffee cup?"

Give yourself $10,000 if you had the correct response written down.

To clarify...I've been noticing A LOT lately, that no freakin body knows what an acronym is. Even people I consider to be extremely intelligent regarding grammar don't know. Let me enlighten you (and by "you" I mean the zero people who read this blog). "FBI" is not an acronym. "NYPD" is not an acronym. HTML is not an acronym. These are ABBREVIATIONS, people! An acronym is an abbreviation formed by intials that is regularly pronounced as a word. Auto Immune Deficiency Syndrome forms the acronym, AIDS. Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus forms SCUBA. These are acronyms.

Now, the coffee thing. Let it be said that I am not much of a coffee drinker. That is to say, I am not eagerly anticipating the day when Starbucks is commercially available for dispensation via a personal IV drip. I drink it once in a while...and never at home. So it is usually a waiter or waitress who is bringing said coffee to me. These service people seem to think that the onus is upon them to follow up my initial cup with enough of the caffeinated drink to drown all of Columbia. Here's a tip...if there is still brown liquid in my cup, do not pour any more into it. If I have not asked you for a refill, do not pour any more into my cup. And under no circumstances should you transform yourself into a coffee-serving ninja who can pour coffee into my cup from 20 yards away without me ever knowing you're there. I rarely drink more than one cup of coffee at a time, and when you pour additional coffee into my cup, it ruins the meticulously calculated ratio of liquid to sugar that I had perfected.

And while we're at it, if I order dessert and coffee, this means that I desire to enjoy these treats TOGETHER. Do not bring my coffee 15 minutes prior to the dessert, as it will be ice cold by the time my final course arrives.

That folks...are the things that are annoying me right now.


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