Everything Under the Sun

The Year in Music: 2011 - Top 10 Songs

2012-01-17T16:28:00.000-08:00

My series of blog posts on the best music of 2011 concludes with my nominees for Record of the Year. These are essentially my top ten favorite tracks of the year...the ones I haven't been able to get out of my head; all but a couple of which have already made appearances in my other categories. I hope, if anyone's been reading this, that you picked up a new favorite song or two along the way. If not, then, you're missing out :-)

Record of the Year

Never Gonna Leave This Bed - Maroon 5

These guys came close to topping my year-end list a few years ago with "Won't Go Home Without You." It seems like they've improved with every album, in my opinion. Hands All Over may very well have been my album of the year, except for the fact it was released in 2010. This single just stuck in my head from the beginning, and still hasn't left. Pop perfection.

Walk - Foo Fighters
Fuckin' Perfect - Pink
Give Me Something - Scars on 45
Mr. Know It All - Kelly Clarkson

The One That Got Away - Katy Perry
Even when my tastes coincide somewhat with popular opinion, I still manage to go against the grain. As I had mentioned, my favorite songs and artists this year were atypically commercial, and Katy Perry is certainly the best example of that. Perry tied Michael Jackson's record for scoring five #1 singles on the Billboard Hot 100 from the same album. "The One That Got Away" was, in fact, the one that got away, only making it to #3, and preventing Perry from breaking the record. So, of course, logic would hold, that this was my favorite of all the singles. Hey, I tried.

Down By The Water - The Decemberists
A little more of a folky sound with The Decemberists album than what I normally listen to. I gave The King is Dead an honorable mention in Album of the Year, and this was the most catchy tune of the bunch.

Slave to the Grind - Halestorm

Sorry - The Smithereens
I won't call myself a huge fan of The Smithereens. There isn't really one album of theirs that I would listen to start to finish, but they always seem to come up with a few great tracks each time out. I heard this one played twice on a local radio station, and that was pretty much it. The Smithereens are long past their heyday, but this track is still worth a listen, or several.

Werewolves - The Damnwells

Jerammies 2011 - Record of the Year by Jeremy Sand on Grooveshark

The Year in Music: 2011 - Part V

2012-01-09T17:21:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone had a great holiday season! Hopefully, 2012 will bring some great new music. For now, I leave you with the second to last category in my year-end Jerammy nominations - Song of the Year. As the real Grammy voters typically ignore the distinction between this and Record of the Year, I will point out that these nods are supposed to be for achievement in songwriting, and hence, go to the songwriters...not necessarily the same as the performers. To me, excellence in songwriting doesn't have to indicate some deep, world-changing lyrical passage, but there should be something unique and non-cliched about both the lyrics and the music. The melodies should also grab you - an engaging hook is definitely part of masterful songwriting. That having been said, the nominees are:

Song of the Year

Fuckin' Perfect - Pink, Max Martin, and Shellback (performed by Pink)

Nothing too complicated or poetic here. It's a simple song with an admirable message and a tight melody. Enough to be my top choice.

Werewolves - Alex Dezen (The Damnwells)
Another song that isn't exactly treading any new topical territory, but Dezen certainly has a way with words, which lifts this one to a higher level. The hook is great too, with the backing vocals to the chorus even featuring a sort of "howling" tone to them. It's the details that count when you're deciding on the best.

Someone Like You - Adele Adkins, Dan Wilson (Adele)
Nine years after the release of Semisonic's signature rock tune, "Closing Time," lead singer Dan Wilson scored a Song of the Year Grammy win for co-writing the Dixie Chicks' "Not Ready to Make Nice." Four and a half years after that, he notched his first #1 single on the Billboard Hot 100 with this Adele track. I am personally not the biggest Adele fan in the world, and think she is overhyped. However, the raw emotion conveyed in this song warrants that props be given to both Adele and her writing partner, Wilson. Plus, I'm such a huge Dan Wilson fan, that I wanted to recognize him here. I wish he had more of his OWN music out there, and that he had more success with those songs. The fact that he's so ably adapted his writing across genres through the years shows that he is simply one of the most talented songwriters out there today.

Give Me Something - Danny Bemrose (Scars on 45)
Love Shines - Ron Sexsmith (Ron Sexsmith)
The Cave - Marcus Mumford (Mumford & Sons)

Jerammies 2011 - Song of the Year by Jeremy Sand on Grooveshark

The Year in Music: 2011 - Part IV

2011-12-24T18:38:00.000-08:00

My end of year music recap took a week and a half off but now returns with the final four categories. This post tackles Best New Artist and Album of the Year.

New Artist

This was the easiest category for me for one simple reason: I wasn't really impressed with many new additions to the music scene this year. Only one really stood out for me, so they are the only nominee, and hence, the winner. I'm talking about Scars on 45. I already mentioned a bit about them in the Pop Duo/Group Performance post, and they'll make a couple more appearances yet in subsequent posts, so on to the next category...

Album of the Year

Stronger - Kelly Clarkson

The pop diva has always had great singles, but this is really this first time it's all come together on a full album, top to bottom, in my opinion. There's only one throwaway track here - the lyrically goofy "Einstein" - but the rest provide a variety of tempos, beats and melodies with great energy, and of course, other-worldly vocal performances. Clarkson finally lives up to her status as a pop/rock goddess. Standout tunes include, "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)"; "Dark Side"; "I Forgive You"; and "Breaking Your Own Heart."

The Truth Is... - Theory of a Deadman
TOAD has a track record of being able to craft strong melodies while still maintaining their rock cred. They continue that trend here, albeit a little light on the "rock" end of things. The first four tracks are easily the strongest, and at 16 songs total, there is a bit of filler here - even a lame, ill-advised attempt at a wedding song with "Better or Worse" - but still about nine very listenable songs.

Break the Spell - Daughtry
Another real solid album. Not quite the masterpiece their last effort was, but at least 8-10 songs that I could listen to repeatedly, and that's saying something these days.

Holding Onto Strings Better Left to Fray - Seether
See above description for the Deadman album, except the part about the first four tracks, and substitute a lame, ill-advised attempt at a country ditty with "Country Song" - inexplicably chosen as the lead single. But there are other rock gems here.

No One Listens to the Band Anymore - The Damnwells
In a perfect world, The Damnwells would be a staple on pop/rock radio. Instead, I find comfort in knowing that I'm one of the lucky few to have discovered them (thanks, Pandora). Alex Dezen is a great songwriter, and this effort showcases that talent. Some weaker tracks on the second half of the CD, but all in all, one of the best of the year.

HONORABLE MENTION:
Sky Full of Holes - Fountains of Wayne
This Loud Morning - David Cook
Wasting Light - Foo Fighters
The King is Dead - The Decemberists
The Return of Spring - Mike Garrigan

Jerammies 2011 - Album of the Year by Jeremy Sand on Grooveshark

The Year in Music: 2011 - Part III

2011-12-13T17:21:00.000-08:00

...And we continue with Best Pop Solo Performance. One of the category changes the Grammy Awards imposed this year is eliminating the segregation of male and female pop stars. So, now the distinction is simply between duo/group and solo. Here are my picks for the best individual vocal performances of 2011:

Pop Solo Performance

Mr.Know It All - Kelly Clarkson

No doubts here. I don't know anyone on the music scene who can match KC vocally. She basically just needs to open her mouth, but in this case, she's just the perfect choice for this specific song. She effuses the right attitude, which brings what could have been a bland pop ripoff to another level. I actually didn't care for the tune upon first listen, but Kelly won me over.

Fuckin' Perfect - Pink
Another one of the best pure vocalists out there. Don't like all her songs, but can't argue with the pipes.

Aftermath - Adam Lambert
I absolutely detested Lambert while he was on American Idol. His debut album was no masterpiece, but thankfully, someone realized that screaming was not the equivalent of a strong vocal performance. He sounds a lot more natural on the recorded work, and allows his vocal prowess to stand on its own. "Aftermath" was my favorite track as soon as I sampled the album, though it was released as a single to little commercial fanfare.

Edge of Glory - Lady Gaga
I have admittedly been disappointed by the Born This Way album. I was hoping to like it, but it's just not my thing. "Glory" is not a fantastic pop song, but it does showcase the fact that the meat-adorned one is still underrated as a singer.

Lucky Now - Ryan Adams
This is an example of where less can be more. Adams' gravelly voice adds just the right texture to this standout track from his Ashes and Fire CD.

Hey Angel - Mike Garrigan
Still one of the most overlooked singer-songwriters of the last couple decades, Garrigan continues his mastery of pop/rock with this love ditty.

If You Ever Get Lonely - John Waite
I've seen the ex-Babys/ex-Bad English vocalist live three times in recent years, and he's a surprisingly good singer, which doesn't always seem obvious on his recorded work. This is the standout track from his most recent album.

Jerammies 2011 - Pop Solo Performance by Jeremy Sand on Grooveshark

The Year in Music: 2011 - Part II

2011-12-10T21:40:00.000-08:00

Continuing my nominations for this year's "Jerammies" - time for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance. Again, going based on the assumption that this category is meant to pay homage to the best vocal performances. This was not as clear-cut of a choice for me to pick a winner, as there's only one person mentioned here who could be considered an out of this world singer. These selections were more about the nuances of the performances, the harmonies, and just creating the right vocal vibe for the particular song. The nominees are:

Pop Duo/Group Performance

Never Gonna Leave This Bed - Maroon 5
I'd say this was, overall, my favorite song of the year. Adam Levine and company put out a great album with Hands All Over, and simply know how to handle a pop song. Both the lead and backing vocals sound great, and flow well throughout the song, creating a bouncy little number that sticks in your head.

Werewolves - The Damnwells
The Damnwells, mainly a vehicle for singer-songwriter, Alex Dezen, have not enjoyed huge commercial success. They do have some great music out there, though. That's why they're tied for the most Jerammy nominations with 4. With whom are they tied? See below.

Give Me Something - Scars on 45
A new band out of the U.K. featuring dual lead vocals from Danny Bemrose and Aimee Driver. They also received nods in 4 categories here on my humble blog. Not having even released a full-length album yet, their two EP's from 2011 provided a nice glimpse into what will hopefully become a strong catalog of pop/rock songs. The version of their catchy first single, "Give Me Something" that I included below is actually a performance sponsored by local radio station 107.1 The Peak, and features a cool coda that blends into a riff on Fleetwood Mac's "Dreams."

Don't You Wanna Stay - Jason Aldean featuring Kelly Clarkson
Normally, Kelly would have won anything in this category. However, the fact that this is actually a song from country star, Jason Aldean's album kind of tempered my enthusiasm. Miss C certainly delivers with her trademark killer vocals, but Aldean kind of grates on me, leaving me to honor this one only with a mere nomination (and it IS an honor just to be nominated, right?).

She Walks in So Many Ways - The Jayhawks
For the First Time - The Script

Jerammies 2011 - Pop Duo/Group Performance by Jeremy Sand on Grooveshark

The Year in Music: 2011

2011-12-09T20:39:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again - when I have nothing better to do than to recap my taste in pop culture from the preceding 300-some-odd days. Last December, I simply listed my top 20 favorites songs of 2010, but in prior years, I had compiled my votes for the Grammy Awards. No, not the actual Grammy's...because they don't really ask my opinion on those. I went ahead and created the "Jerammies" - a cheesy take-off on the real awards, based on my own oddball musical preferences. I decided to revert back to that idea for 2011, but this time, I'm actually sharing my choices with you all (or tormenting you with them, depending on how you look at it). I've selected several of the more mainstream Grammy categories, and tried to remain true to the actual meaning behind the category names (which the actual Grammy voters never seem to do). This year's posts are replete with actual widgets from the Grooveshark site, which will allow you to listen to the songs I've foisted upon you. Wow, see how remarkably technologically inclined I've become?! In any case, in some instances, my selections this year seem to be uncharacteristically in line with the real nominations (I compiled my list before they were announced), but there are still several obscure gems that I feel should have gotten much more exposure. So, without any further babbling, here is the first category.

Rock Performance

The Grammy's condensed some categories this year, including eliminating the separation of solo and group rock performances. I have followed along with the changes here on my blog. Keep in mind, this category is supposed to highlight the best vocal performances in the rock genre. Again, the Grammy voters never seem to take this into consideration, instead just picking their favorite songs. In my mind, vocal performance is not only about who can belt out the loudest and longest, although that helps. It also encompasses matching the right type of voice with the right song, and other more subtle characteristics of the overall performance. That having been said, there is nothing SUBTLE about my pick for the winner in this category (highlighted in blue italics) - it was easily the most clear-cut decision I made in any of the categories. The nominees are:

Slave to the Grind - Halestorm
Lead singer, Lzzy Hale, is one of rock's best kept secrets. I don't know why Halestorm didn't make a bigger splash with their debut album, but this year's Reanimate - The Covers EP provided a few standout tracks to hold me over until their sophomore effort comes out. Chief among them: Heart's "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You," Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance," and this rip-your-face-off take on the amazing Skid Row screamer from 1991. Sebastian Bach was perhaps the greatest vocalist of the hair band era, and Lzzy Hale unbelievably almost matches him note for every throat-destroying note on this remake. And, if you check out any live clips on Youtube, you'll see this is no trick of studio engineering; she HITS the notes. Overall, the recording is not an improvement on the original, but the vocal performance deserves to be recognized for what it is: stunning.

The Fire - Rev Theory
The Ballad of Mona Lisa - Panic! at the Disco
Stand - Ed Kowalczyk (ex-lead singer, Live)
Walk - Foo Fighters
Lost in Paradise - Evanescence

Jerammies 2011 by Jeremy Sand on Grooveshark

A Case of The Septembers - Part II

2011-09-13T22:43:00.000-07:00

Now that I've run down the returning TV shows I'm looking forward to, it's time to take a look at the season's most intriguing new series.

ABC
Suburgatory (comedy) - Wednesdays 8:30pm, premieres 9/28: This one hasn't exactly gotten a lot of buzz or received any pre-season promotion, but it caught my eye mainly because it stars Jeremy Sisto and Cheryl Hines, both of whom were featured in the great movie, Waitress. I thought Sisto's performance in that film warranted award consideration, but it went shamefully overlooked. He was also superb in the short-lived TV series, Kidnapped. This new production revolves around a father (Sisto) and his teenage daughter who move from the city to the suburbs. I assume hilarity is supposed to ensue. Doesn't sound like an Earth-shattering premise, but I'm curious enough because of the talent involved. I have a feeling this one won't be around long unless it's REALLY good.

NBC
Up All Night (comedy) - Wednesdays 8:00pm, premieres 9/14: This show, starring Christina Applegate and Will Arnett as a married couple who become first time parents around age 40, didn't initially strike me as one in which I'd be interested. The teaser promos, however, looked pretty funny, so I think I'm going to give this one a swing. With Applegate, Arnett, and SNL alum, Maya Rudolph on board (as well as SNL creator, Lorne Michaels exec producing), there's enough star power here that this one might actually stand a chance of being a breakout hit (hope I don't put my classic jinx on it). But for good measure, it also made Entertainment Weekly's list of the Top 5 best new shows.

Prime Suspect (drama) - Thursdays 10:00pm, premieres 9/22: I typically don't like these detective procedurals. Never watched any of the Law & Orders. Never watched any of the CSI's. Without a Trace, Cold Case...the list goes on. Just not really my type of show. I didn't watch the original British version of Suspect, starring Helen Mirren. And I don't dislike, but don't have any specific love for the current incarnation's lead actress, Maria Bello. So why am I going to watch this one. Dunno. Maybe I just like the idea of latching onto a show for once that doesn't get canceled after one season.

FOX
Terra Nova (drama) - Mondays 8:00pm, premieres 9/26: This is, without a doubt, the most widely anticipated new series of the '11-'12 season. They've broken the bank on budget. They couldn't get the special effects done in time to debut in May like they had intended. And, although the program carries cred by having Steven Spielberg's and 24 exec producer Jon Cassar's names attached (and both closely involved), there are virtually no name stars to back that up. Stephen Lang, who did a great job as a villain in Avatar, will be the most familiar face here, and that's not saying much. So, the spotlight is definitely on this sci-fi adventure series, which starts out in a bleak future, and follows a Chicago family, along with others, who are selected to travel back in time to the prehistoric era to have a chance to start life fresh. Should be an interesting ride. Could this be the new Lost?

CBS
A Gifted Man - Fridays 8:00pm, premieres 9/23: Starting out your TV run on Fridays never bodes well. Very few series survive here, and it's not exactly seen as a big vote of confidence from the network. But, this is CBS, and last year's freshman entry, Blue Bloods, did OK on Fridays, so maybe they can pull it off again. This one stars Patrick Wilson as a neurosurgeon who suddenly starts receiving visits from his dead ex-wife. It's supposed to be some kind of emotional and spiritual journey story, which is not really the type I usually flock to. But, once again, it's the lead actor bringing me to the table here. After a masterful performance as a creepy pedophile-type in the deeply disturbing but riveting film, Hard Candy, Wilson has strong acting bona fides in my book. He also gave great performances in the vastly underrated Passengers, the serviceable Lakeview Terrace, and the boring (in my opinion) Insidious. So I'm definitely curious to see how that film resume translates to the small screen.

Person of Interest - Thursdays 9:00pm, premieres 9/22: Another entry on EW's Top 5 best new shows list, this one stars Ben Linus...er...I mean Michael Emerson, and Jesus Christ...er...I mean Jim Caviezel, and was created by J.J. Abrams, who continues to rack up the hits (Felicity, Alias, Lost, Fringe, Cloverfield, Star Trek). Academy Award nominee, Taraji P. Henson rounds out the cast, so there is massive star power here. The premise - Caviezel is a supposed-to-be-dead CIA operative who is recruited by a billionaire (Emerson), who developed a technology that allows him to predict when crimes are going to happen. He enlists Caviezel's character to stop those crimes from taking place. It does borrow a page from the Tom Cruise film, Minority Report, but hopefully Person of Interest will sport the same originality as previous Abrams projects.

2 Broke Girls - Mondays 9:30pm, premieres 9/19: Two words...Kat Dennings.

So that's it. My take on the upcoming television season. All I can say is, thank God for DVR.

A Case of The Septembers - Part I

2011-09-12T22:37:00.000-07:00

September is always a fun time for entertainment enthusiasts. All of their favorite TV shows return for new seasons, exciting new ones debut, and the action ramps up at the cinema as movie studios start churning out their Oscar season hopefuls. I definitely come down with a case of The Septembers each year, which is a good thing. So, my next three blog posts are dedicated to those TV and Film selections that I'm most highly anticipating.

TV Season 2011-2012

My list of TV shows I'm eagerly awaiting includes 6 returning from last year, 7 new entries, and 1 experiencing an unlikely resurrection after an 11 year hiatus.

Returning
Fringe - Not exactly sure why I've hung onto this sometimes intriguing, sometimes lackluster sci-fi adventure for so long, but I guess there's no turning back now. After a real wackjob of an ending to its third season, it will at least be interesting to see where Anna Torv, Joshua Jackson and company go from here.

Big Bang Theory - Hands down, the funniest show on TV the past few years. When I originally saw the pilot episode, I thought it was hilarious, but also figured the series would suffer from being a "one-joke show." But, the writers have managed to keep the gang of geeks play video games/hot neighbor thing fresh after four years, and will hopefully continue to do so at least through 2014, which is when the show has currently been renewed through.

Modern Family - Only because of the aforementioned Theory, this is, hands down, the 2nd funniest show on TV. Great cast, great writing, although the whole thing about wrapping up many of the episodes with a schmaltzy, "this is the theme of this episode" voice-over, gets a little old sometimes.

Harry's Law - I was somewhat surprised that this show got picked up for a 2nd season. It was a mid-season entry last year, and I don't know anyone else who watches it. But I think Kathy Bates is awesome in the lead, and so far the show has a good balance of drama and humor. Not sure how long this one will be around though.

The Good Wife - This series is in danger of devolving into a drippy, forbidden love story. Their version of the Ross and Rachel, "Will they or won't they" scenario, with the Will and Alicia characters, is just about as boring as I could imagine. The show made some serious missteps in my opinion, last season. But, I'm definitely eager to watch the showdown that occurs in the wake of Kalinda's betrayal of Alicia ending Season 2. Juliana Margulies (Alicia) and Archie Punjabi (Kalinda) are two of the best actresses around. I'd probably watch Margulies in just about anything.

The Walking Dead - I'm not so much eagerly anticipating the return of this American Movie Classics series, as I am just wondering what's going to happen. Once I find out, I'm not sure how much longer I'll stay tuned. In fact, as I'm writing this, I'm starting to wonder if I want to continue watching at all. How do you create a show, run it for only 6 episodes, and then make viewers wait nearly a year for Season 2? This better be damn good.

Beavis & Butthead - It's official. After months of news releases, interviews with Mike Judge, etc., October 27th has been announced as the 2011 season premiere date for the long-absent MTV animated series. This will mark the first time I have been excited about turning on MTV in 11 years...the last time a new episode aired. It's about time these fartknockers came back. This is gonna RULE!!

I run down my list of new shows to watch in A Case of The Septembers - Part II...

REVIEW: The Hunger Games

2011-09-05T00:20:00.000-07:00

So I did something I practically never do; I jumped on the bandwagon of a completely over-hyped pop culture phenomenon. I read The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins. Typically, I won't read or watch something that has sucked in the masses and been discussed in every major (and some not so major) media vehicle. By that time, I feel that I'm only going to be set up for disappointment. Games did a relatively good job of reminding me why I feel that way. I'm not saying it was a bad book. I'm just saying that there was nothing overly compelling about it, and I'm not really sure what warrants all the hoopla.

The story takes place in the future (ooooh...how mysterious), where the nation of Panem has risen from the ashes of North America. Supposedly, a barrage of natural disasters resulted in the extinction of the former, while the creation of the latter led to the country being divided into 13 districts, "which brought peace and prosperity to its citizens." Subsequently, there was a rebellion of the 13 districts against the governing body of The Capitol, which saw the complete destruction of District 13, and the creation of the annual Hunger Games competition, during which 2 teenagers from each of the remaining Districts are forced to battle to the death until the last one is standing. This leads me to my first issue with The Hunger Games. It's never clarified why there was a nationwide rebellion if all of Panem had been enjoying an extended period of peace and prosperity. If you and everyone you knew were prospering your entire lives, would you rebel against your government? Granted, it's possible this is addressed in one of the subsequent two books, but even if it is, the first novel in a series is supposed to lay the groundwork. That piece of history not being explained at the outset prevented me from believing the entire premise of the story, which is never a good thing.

My second issue with Games, is that, despite the central focus of the story being the intense and bloody battle amongst the 24 contestants (called "tributes") in the aforementioned competition, very little time is spent describing the moments when each tribute dies. I suppose Collins avoids this for obvious reasons, but if you're writing a violent story, you're going to have to include violent aspects of the narrative.

Next, one of the supposed dramatic aspects of the story is that the main character, 16-year-old Katniss Everdeen, is torn between her growing feelings for Peeta, the other contestant selected from her district, and the fact that at least one of them is eventually going to have to die. The problem is, the budding romance is boring. The real engaging part of the book is the battle for survival, and Collins completely overshadows that with this drippy, bland relationship.

One of the things Collins does well is building the non-romantic relationships in the book. Katniss' affection for her 12-year-old sister, Primrose is sweet and believable. There's a really emotional aspect of that relationship that I will not discuss here, so as not to reveal a critical turning point in the story, but suffice it to say, Katniss' love for Prim, and to some extent, their mother as well, is a central driving force in her determination to defy the odds and win the Hunger Games.

However, this positive aspect of the story also leads to the final, and most grievous flaw of The Hunger Games.

--SPOILER (but not really) ALERT BELOW--

Since it won't be a huge shock to anyone to find out that Katniss survives the competition, I feel it's safe to mention this here. As with the majority of stories, be them novels or films or what have you, Collins completely fumbles the climax. There is an interesting twist, but it's somewhat predictable, and doesn't compensate for the fact that the description of the final moments of the Hunger Games competition and the immediate aftermath is extremely dissatisfying. In particular, Katniss' emotional response to her victory is simply not believable. Here's someone who never thought she stood a chance, who firmly believed she was facing her last days on Earth, and her reaction, in this blogger's humble opinion, belied that reality. Lastly, Collins never describes Katniss' reunion with her family. What should have been the single most dramatic moment of the story was not even included! I neglected to mention that all of the citizens of Panem are forced to watch the competition on TV, so Katniss' mother and sister have been following her travails the entire way. And we don't get to see their reaction when they first get to embrace their loved one, knowing she's overcome incredible odds to survive?

There were some other intriguing characters and aspects of the story, but overall, the problems I mentioned detracted too much from my reading experience. I don't even think I will be compelled to read the subsequent novels, Catching Fire and Mockingjay, to follow the subsequent adventures of Katniss. As for the Hollywood adaptation, how do I resist the urge to see Jennifer Lawrence on screen? Well, I've barely seen any of Jessica Alba's movies, so I suppose logic can prevail here as well.

Now that I've gotten a taste for what happens when I jump on a proverbial bandwagon, I don't feel as left out for not having read or seen any of the Twilights, Harry Potters or Lord of the Rings. OK, so I didn't really feel left out anyway, but you get my point.

The Evil Empire (New York Yankees)

2011-08-02T21:58:00.000-07:00

I know there are more important things going on in the world, but this whole deal with the major league baseball trade deadline is getting ridiculous.

The Yankees made headlines this weekend for doing something very unusual for them...nothing. The Yankees made absolutely no deals as the deadline for trading players came and went. Almost every other team in contention across the majors made some kind of move. The Yankees stood pat with what they had. And the sports "journalists" went nuts. How could the Yankees possibly be content with their current roster? How can they possibly think that their starting rotation, the way it is, will carry them through to a championship? Freddy Garcia and Bartolo Colon can't possibly continue pitching like this. And on and on and on.

Forgive me if I'm remembering this incorrectly - my nearly 40-year-old brain is not always what it used to be - but I seem to recall the Yankees being branded the "Evil Empire" (by a Red Sox executive, of all people), because they always just go out and buy up whatever players they need. I seem to recall that this has been the chief gripe that fans and writers alike, across the country, have put forth for the past 15 years of NYY dominance. The Yankees have an unfair advantage. They have so much money - of course they win every year. They buy all their championships. First of all, that's been hogwash from the beginning. Show me another team that features three homegrown players who have played together for 16 years straight. Show me another team with yet a fourth homegrown player who played nearly all of those seasons with the other three. Show me another team with still a fifth homegrown player whose career overlapped some of the tenure of the other four. The Yankees got where they are today with the core of Mariano Rivera, Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada, Andy Pettitte, and Bernie Williams. And today, they continue on with Phil Hughes, Ivan Nova, Robinson Cano, Brett Gardner, and the like. Yes, they have made many significant free agent acquisitions and blockbuster trades during their championship run. That's baseball, folks. Every team does it. The Yankees are just better at it.

So now that Brian Cashman decides that his homegrown prospects are too valuable to trade for the players who were available, he's getting flack from all ends. Do we know if Garcia and Colon will hold up? No. Do we know which AJ Burnett will show up the rest of the way? No. Do we know if Phil Hughes will be able to recover from his unexplainable velocity and command issues? No. But the fact is, the Yankees have six starting pitchers who all, at one time or another, have been dominant. Is this really a problem? If they make deals, then they're buying championships. If they insist on developing their prospects, then they're doing a disservice to their fans by not fortifying the team for a World Series run. Can someone please explain what exactly it is that they're supposed to do? I, for one, am content with watching how this one plays out, and am looking forward to seeing how the new crop of stars pans out over the next couple of years.

BOOK REVIEW: The Passage

2011-07-28T22:41:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been about four months since my last post. Nothing inspiring to write about, I guess. I spent enough time reading this almost-800-page book, though, so I figured it was at least worth a mention. "The Passage" by Justin Cronin has been out for quite a while, and everything I had read about it was pretty much anointing it the book of the decade, or something close. I'd probably stop short of that, although Cronin is certainly a talented writer.

"The Passage" is presented as the first in a post-apocalyptic trilogy that tells the story of a mystical girl named Amy. Why you can't tell an entire story in 780-something pages is beyond me, but apparently, there must be a reason. The strengths of the book are that Cronin definitely shows his prowess as an author, particularly when describing death, despair, and loneliness (of which there is much...the setting being post-apocalyptic and all), and also that Amy, around five years old when the story begins, is a highly sympathetic character. The main gripe I have with the book is that, for a central character, she barely appears in the book at all. To be more accurate, she's referred to or is present in many scenes, but for reasons I won't explain so as not to give away too many details, she isn't doing anything in the lion's share of those scenes. There is a whole chunk of the middle of the book in which she isn't even there at all, however. So, while I cared about Amy for the first 200 or so pages, my attention waned after that.

"The Passage" tells the story of how the United States (and perhaps the world...it's never made clear), is overrun with a horrific virus that has turned a vast majority of the population into bloodthirsty, vampiric creatures - not of the Twilight ilk, for sure, nothing romantic about the "virals" as they're called. The surviving humans are scattered across the country, condemned to live fearful existences within the walls of colonies where they can be protected from the dangers lurking outside. They're so isolated that they pretty much don't know if anyone else outside their walls still lives. The beginning of the book makes passing reference to how the outbreak all began (a doctor conducting experiments, trying to harness the virus as a cure for disease and aging), how the U.S. government and military gets involved (securing a number of death row inmates as the first human test subjects, leading to them becoming the first "virals"), and introduces us to Amy, who is also virtually kidnapped by the government and subjected to testing, although the virus seems to have an altogether different effect on her. One of the other main problems with the narrative is that it shifts the action from five to ten years (I was confused as to which it was) prior to the beginning of the story, to 92 years, and in a roundabout way, also 1,003 years forward. The circumstances surrounding the beginning of the experiments (that's the five to ten years prior part) are never fully explained, with the time shift and description of what was happening then becoming very jarring to the reader (at least to me). It was never clarified how or why the government inserted itself into this situation, or how they knew there was anything special about Amy.

After the first 200 or so pages, the narrative suddenly flashes 92 years into the future, and it's at this point where all reference to Amy abruptly disappears. We're then introduced to the first of the aforementioned colonies of survivors, located somewhere in California. The problem is, there are so many people living there, that it's really difficult to grow attached to any of the characters. And it was a bit unnerving to suddenly have to focus on a slew of new main characters this deep into the book. For about the next 300 pages, I really didn't care about anything that was happening, and that's a pretty long stretch of boredom when you're reading a novel. It wasn't until a seemingly un-aged Amy reappears and comes into contact with the colony, and a handful of the inhabitants decide to venture into the wilderness with her in tow, that things really begin to get compelling again. They're forced to live off the land, and seek shelter, food and weapons wherever and however possible, all while fighting off the lurking virals. They've discovered Amy's secret...that she has remained a young girl for almost a century, and they've intercepted a radio transmission passing through a chip that the government had implanted in her neck during the long ago experiments. That message makes their goal to return Amy to the site of those experiments in Telluride, Colorado. It's a dramatic and intriguing journey, to say the least. But I found the anticipation to be much more rewarding than the ultimate payoff. Once they arrive in Colorado, and get their hands on the original doctor's files, they don't seem to learn any more than what we, the readers, already knew. I was expecting some kind of big reveal regarding how Amy got the way she was, why she was chosen for the experiments, why they didn't affect her the same way as they did the virals, and most of all, why they were supposed to bring her back. Also, the killing off of one of the central bad guys (the head viral, I guess you could call him), was completely unsatisfying. This is a mistake that many Hollywood films make as well...they don't know how to stage the climactic battle scenes. Considering how adept Cronin was at describing other characters' deaths in vivid, haunting detail, I was surprised that he fell flat at this critical moment.

At various interludes in the story, we are taken to the year 1,003 A.V. (I'm assuming "After Virus" - another thing that is never made clear). There is no actual descriptive action taking place in these chapters; the headings just reference the date and some sort of educational conference in Australia, with the text comprised of passages from the writings of two of the characters whom we know from the California colony in the year 92 A.V. So, obviously the world has moved on from the virus, and people are studying the events of all those years ago. It makes for an interesting narrative tool, and lays the groundwork for a somewhat stunning, book-ending cliffhanger. I guess I should have seen that coming, knowing there were more books in the series.

All in all, "The Passage" was compelling enough for me to want to read the next installment. I still can't get over the fact, however, that the postscript states that "The story of Amy continues in 'The Twelve' coming in 2012," when this first book really wasn't much of a story of Amy to begin with. I mean, in spirit it was, because everything that happened is somehow tied to her, but so little of the actual ACTION of the story directly involves her. I hope we get to know her a lot better in "The Twelve."

OVERALL GRADE: B

The Year in TV

2011-03-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

My track record of finding great new TV shows to watch is spotty, at best. I always seem to pick the ones that get canceled within or after one season. Here's a rundown of what I've been watching this year, and my take on each.

The Event
Harry's Law
The Chicago Code
V
The Good Wife
Modern Family
Better With You
Mr. Sunshine
Big Bang Theory
Fringe

Modern Family, Big Bang Theory, and to a lesser extent, The Good Wife are examples of the rare times that I get hooked on shows that actually become bona fide hits. It happens occasionally, as with Lost, 24, and a few others over the years, but as with most things, my tastes usually run against the grain. MF and BBT are both hilarious returning sitcoms that should be around for several more seasons. The Good Wife was a breakout hit drama from the 2009-10 season, but has seen a small dropoff in viewership this year. Juliana Marguilies is basically the reason to watch this show. They featured some interesting rivalries this year, but the plots have kind of been all over the place. Whereas, she is probably one of the most likable actors on TV, and is what keeps people coming back.

Fringe has been hanging on for a few seasons, despite middling ratings, and I'm not really sure what to make of it. I don't love it. But, I guess it's been interesting and creative enough to have held my attention span this long. It's at the point where you just have to hold on to find out where it's all leading.

The other returning show on this list is the reboot of the 80's sci-fi mini-series, and then short-lived recurring series, V. When it debuted in 2009, I thought the first few episodes stunk. They were sloppily written, I didn't care about the characters too much, and I just didn't see what was going to suck me in. However, something happened after that, and the character development, dramatic tension, and acting, all made leaps and bounds. It was renewed for a 2nd season despite not exactly enjoying a ratings bonanza, and once again, it's on the ropes after having just ended a 10-episode "mini-season." TV networks don't typically cut the episode order to 10 as a vote of confidence, and the short time frame definitely detracted from the horrific season finale. The writers/producers were obviously attempting to wrap things up hastily, and the result was an unmitigated mess of cliched writing, implausible plot elements, and character deaths meant for shock value, but which will substantially suck the life from the various interactions/rivalries on the show, if it's somehow brought back for Season 3.

The Event is another one of those sci-fi "what the hell is going on" thrillers that sprung up in the wake of Lost. The TV networks never know how to position these series, as was seen with the brief, one season-life of Flash Forward and many before it. Plots that no one can follow, more questions than answers, answers that end up being cop outs, and those long hiatuses between "Part 1" of the season and "Part II." When is someone in the industry going to figure out that the viewers do not return after 8 weeks of no new episodes? The Event is OK, but I'm sad to say, I'm not sure if I will even miss it if it gets canned, which it likely will be.

Two freshman comedies, Better With You and Mr. Sunshine, are both likely on shaky ground for renewals. "Sunshine" probably has a better shot due to the star power of Matthew Perry, and to a lesser extent, Allison Janney. I was one of maybe five people who loved Perry's last attempt at a post-Friends series - the grossly underrated Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, which suffered from debuting around the same time as the similarly themed 30 Rock, and not starring the inexplicably idolized Tina Fey. This time, Perry is a sarcastic (no, really?), seemingly self-absorbed manager of a sports arena, who has trouble relating to his underlings. Some bizarre characters on this one, but Perry's delivery really holds it all together. All his characters might be, in some way, retreads of Chandler, but if it ain't broke....

Better With You suffers from lack of network promotion and lack of star power. That 70's Show's Debra Jo Rupp is the most well-known, with Joanna Garcia (otherwise known as wife of New York Yankees outfielder, Nick Swisher) pulling up the rear. The show illustrates the parallels between Mia's (Garcia) relationship with her new husband, the relationship between Mia's sister, Maddie, and the guy she's been with for several years without marrying, and that of Mia and Maddie's parents. The writing is at times goofy, but mostly funny and observant. Unfortunately, this one probably has run its course.

The last two are Monday mid-season replacements, The Chicago Code and Harry's Law. "Code" was pretty much dead on arrival, so no sense in getting into too much detail. There are cops and politicians. Some are corrupt. Some aren't. Crimes happen and get solved. It takes place in Chicago. The one amazing thing about this show is how stunning Jennifer Beals still looks at 48, a full 28 years after she burst on the scene in Flashdance. Wowzer!

Happily, there is one bona fide dramatic hit this season, and it's David E. Kelley's Harry's Law. The rare show driven by a 63-year-old lead actress (Kathy Bates), it's practically a lock to return for a full Season 2, and deservedly so. It started out tenuously, with Kelley's trademark quirkiness threatening to get in the way of his otherwise solid writing. But the "loopy" factor has since been tamped down a bit, in lieu of continued witty scripting and solid, unusual but believable and sympathetic character relationships, and standout acting performances all around - particularly by Bates, and co-star Christopher McDonald, also up there in the age department. Bates plays a former patent lawyer who now takes criminal cases in watching out for the residents of a ghetto-esque Cincinnati neighborhood. But this is anything but a typical courtroom procedural. It's about the people, not the trials. If Kelley doesn't go off the deep end, as he did with Boston Legal, then I hope this one will be around for a while.

Here's hoping there are some new gems to watch, come September.

Something New

2011-01-02T20:51:00.000-08:00

Well it's the start of another year (and technically, a new decade - what are we calling this one?). So, time for another venture. As many of you know, I have been unemployed for quite a while now. I moved back to New York, from Las Vegas, in search of more plentiful opportunities, but my thoughts are now leading me in a somewhat different direction. This is likely to be the year of the personal brand. With many folks in similar situations as I, there will likely be many headfirst dives into the world of entrepreneurship and solo practitioner-ship (a new term - I coined it first). This trend, combined with the proliferation of social media and other technological tools, will give rise to a revolution in personal branding. Be it through launching new companies, blogging, publishing e-books, public speaking, or what have you, people all over are going to be finding new ways of communicating what it means to experience a business relationship with them.

I, for one, will be launching a marketing consulting practice and associated business & marketing blog. One of the first steps in establishing my personal brand is choosing a logo for my company, eⁿthcast Marketing & Consulting. To that end, I am running a competition on a Web site called 99designs, where an array of artists worldwide have submitted their design ideas based on my instructions. I have narrowed the field down to my Top 8 choices, which are viewable below. If you click on the VOTE NOW button, it will take you to the voting page, where you can rate and comment on each selection. This process will help me get an idea of how the masses would subconsciously react to each of these logos, were I to choose them. Think about who you would want giving you marketing guidance if you were the owner of a small to medium-sized business. The more votes logged, the more significant the results will be, so your participation is greatly appreciated! Happy New Year everyone, and may your new adventures be as prosperous as I hope mine will be.

Custom Logo Design at 99designs

Job Posting Dictionary

2010-12-17T21:31:00.000-08:00

I thought I would do the job searching world a favor, and provide this much needed translation of common terms found in Internet job postings. After having been unemployed for nearly two years, I have read many, and know that if you're not paying close attention, the true meaning of some of these words and phrases might elude folks who expect everything to be literal. So, here it is...Jeremy's Job Posting Dictionary:

Intern = foolish and desperate recent college grad willing to work for nothing
Entry-Level = two to four years experience
Two to four years experience = two to four years experience in this exact type of position, otherwise, go screw yourself
Strong communication skills = you can somehow trick us into actually reading your cover letter and resume
Must be proficient in = second only to God in skill level
Preferred (as in, "MBA preferred" or "fashion industry experience preferred") = you'd better have this, motherfucker
Bachelor's degree required = we will only consider you if the university you attended rhymes with Schmarvard, Schmale, or Schmanford
Self-starter = you will automatically know how to perform every task without any direction - this is especially pertinent when your direct supervisor is busy getting blown by one of the foolish and desperate recent college grads willing to work for nothing
Entrepreneurial spirit = you failed at starting your own successful business, that's why you're applying to work here, loser
Willing to travel = there's a fucking Starbucks every 20 feet, now get me my venti caramel machiatto, you lazy shit
Must possess valid driver's license = if you're not willing to get me my venti caramel machiatto, you can drive your good-for-nothing ass home
Local applicants only = members of the hiring manager's family only
Must have the legal right to work in the U.S. = except if you're a white male, particularly an unattractive one - then, let's be realistic, you have no shot
Ability to respond well under pressure - What's that? You just chucked your laptop across the room?

Then, of course, there is the all-time favorite phrase that comes in the standard rejection form letter:

While we were greatly impressed with your qualifications = PFFFT!

Top 20 Songs of 2010

2010-12-01T02:01:00.000-08:00

I've said it a couple times already...this was not a fantastic year for me in terms of finding music I liked. The number of songs I download has dropped pretty dramatically over the past couple of years, actually. That having been said, there is still the cream of the crop. Here you will find the 20 songs from 2010 that I felt deserved special recognition. OK, I'm not sure if being on my blog counts as "special," but I'm putting them here nonetheless. Only about eight of these tunes could even be considered minor radio hits...but certainly none of them hit the Top 20 of the Billboard Hot 100. Nope...no Lady Gaga or Black Eyed Peas here. Amazingly though, I do have two songs on my list that are considered to be part of the country genre. In fact, they're both in my Top 5. Did you hear any reports of icicles in hell? There's also a crossover opera singer, a band with a dead lead singer, and an American Idol contestant. An interesting mish-mosh, to be sure. So, without any further rambling...here we go. Links to Amazon are provided if you care to sample any of the tracks.

20. My Little Secret - Cavo
I totally missed how good the album Bright Nights * Dark Days from this modern rock band when it first came out in 2009. That's probably because the first single, "Champagne" didn't really do it for me. Then, much more recently, I discovered a couple other songs by them, and actually just downloaded the full album tonight. A nice, melodic tune here to kick off the Top 20.
19. Tennessee Line - Daughtry
In actuality, there are three country artists on my countdown, when you consider that Vince Gill contributes backing vocals to this Daughtry ballad. Leave This Town has to be one of the most overlooked albums of the past couple years...and it still went platinum.
18. If It's Love - Train
Any song that references 80's hair band, Winger, is automatically cool in my book...ha! Pat Monahan's lyrics often don't make much sense, and sound like he's just trying to come up with catchy rhymes. And it works. This was a pretty big hit on adult contemporary radio, but it's only the 2nd best Train song on my countdown.
17. Broken Bones - Rev Theory
The awesome album Light It Up, by this New York modern rock band, came out in 2008, but the final single stretched into the new decade. Good enough for me. Looking forward to their new CD in February.
16. Man of Colours - Grace Bawden
This classical/opera crossover singer was a finalist on Australia's Got Talent when she was 15 yrs. old, and subsequently turned down a major label deal. I guess that's why no one in the U.S. knows who she is. I discovered her, of all places, on business social networking site, LinkedIn, where she posted a comment on one of the groups. This is a cover of the amazing title track off of the amazing 1987 CD by Aussie pop band, Icehouse. One of my favorite albums of all-time.
15. September - Daughtry
Another great track from the American Idol "loser." My only regret about their album, is that the standout track, "Call Your Name," was never released as a single. It could very well have been my #1.
14. Familiar Taste of Poison - Halestorm
Ahhhh, Lzzy. That's Halestorm lead singer, Lzzy Hale. I have no idea what happened to her other vowel, but crap, the girl can sing. If she had sung the encyclopedia, I probably would have found a way to include that. Not the best from them, though.
13. All In - Lifehouse
These guys are just catchy rock hook machines. Their latest album was somewhat of a disappointment compared to their recent work, but there are always at least a few songs worth putting on repeat. This is one of them.
12. Jenny - Mike Garrigan
You've seen this North Carolina singer-songwriter on previous lists of mine, and so has he, actually. He was kind enough to subscribe to my blog after having been very gracious in communicating with me via e-mail over a period of several months, taking an interest in my ventures in the music industry and screenwriting. This is what I would have considered to be the "commercial single" off his latest, Voyage of the Malamander, if there had been one released. Nice guy, and talented guy. Doing it all on his own. Show some support if you care to.
11. Save Me, San Francisco - Train
Just.Plain.Catchy.

10. Crash - Cavo
Had heard this one on the radio for months before I discovered it was them. Great rock tune.
9. Pull Me Through - Tyrone Wells
Amazing voice. Saw him live at the SXSW festival in 2009. A slight turn back to his more folky roots on his Metal & Wood EP, but this is a poppier sounding track, and a great one.
8. Lesson Learned - Alice in Chains
Comeback album for the grunge outfit, of course, sans the departed Layne Staley. William DuVall does a formidable job of channeling Staley, and this is a really strong rocker.
7. Impossible - Anberlin
Not crazy about the album, but this is an incredibly catchy rock song.
6. Grace - Ed Kowalczyk
Former Live lead singer Kowalczyk bursts out on his own with his debut solo CD, Alive. His band was criminally overlooked for years after their radio hit days were done, so it's no surprise that this one hasn't gained any traction in the U.S. I've seen Live in concert, and I saw E.K. touring with Art Alexakis of Everclear and Leigh Nash of Sixpence None the Richer. Simply one of the best singers out there.
5. Let Me Hear You Scream - Ozzy Osbourne
In my opinion, one of the best tracks he's written in nearly 20 years. Unfortunately, the rest of the Scream album didn't follow suit.
4. Pray For You - Jaron and the Long Road to Love
Don't know what that band name is about, but this is one half of the 90's brotherly pop duo, Evan & Jaron, of one-hit wonder "Crazy For That Girl" fame. JatLRtL's debut CD, Getting Dressed in the Dark is supposedly a country album, but it sounds like pop to me. Good pop. Several strong tracks on there, but this one takes the cake. A really cleverly written kiss-off song. The lyric starts out giving the listener the idea that the singer is heeding advice from his pastor not to hold anger for people, but to pray for them. Well, as it turns out, Jaron had a different kind of prayer in mind; the kind that involves wishing that his ex's brakes go out while she's running down a hill, among other things. With tongue firmly planted in cheek, Jaron Lowenstein has crafted a jangly pop gem.
3. Bet U Wish U Had Me Back - Halestorm
There she is again. Lzzy and the guys just beat my cutoff for the list by releasing this, one of the best tracks on their self-titled debut, Halestorm, as their latest single. Of course, they're not getting the recognition they deserve. How can people not be noticing the strongest female rock singer since Heart's Ann Wilson? Another great kiss-off tune, featuring the year's best line..."Do you close your eyes with her and pretend I'm doing you again, like only I can?" Only a true rocker ego could belt that one out.
2. Time of Our Lives - Tyrone Wells
Again, an incredible new voice on the music scene...even though he's actually been at it for years. Another artist I wish were getting more attention. Tell me this sentimental ballad isn't crying to be included on some High School graduation video montage.

1. She's With Me - Collin Raye
This was one of the first ten or so songs that I made note of this year, hearing the accomplished country singer perform it live on Fox News' Huckabee show. I knew instantly that this would be my #1 of the year, barring anything unforeseen. At the time, it was just a really touching tribute to Raye's granddaughter, Haley Marie Bell, who had long been suffering from an undiagnosed neurological disorder that had left her unable to speak or walk, among other things. A few weeks after I saw the performance, Haley passed away at the age of nine. Now the song is a permanent memorial. Dare you to watch the video HERE and not get choked up. I can't name a single other Collin Raye song, but who cares when there's this? I'm sure it's the only list he's ever appeared on with Ozzy Osbourne.

REVIEW: Bad Religion - Irving Plaza 10/27/10

2010-10-29T16:17:00.000-07:00

This past week, I re-started my New York City concert-going experience with a band whom I had been meaning to see for several years, but for some reason, always had other plans interfere. I'm not a hard core Bad Religion fan by any stretch. In fact there are only two albums of theirs from which I've downloaded 5 or more songs. But I do think their music has a great energy and their lyrics are thoughtful and original...even if I don't necessarily know what they're singing about. So I figured they would put on a great live show.

This was the 3rd of 3 dates they were playing at Irving Plaza as part of their 30th anniversary tour. Each night was supposed to represent an approximately ten-year segment of time. I chose to attend the last one, since I'm a little more familiar with their more recent work, and this show was highlighting the Bad Religion albums from 2000-present, including the just released The Dissent of Man.

The unfortunate thing about many shows today, is that the run times are getting shorter and shorter as the ticket prices go higher and higher. Of course, in punk rock, many of the songs clock in at under 3:00, giving the bands even less incentive to do a longer set. When you can cram 27 songs into a 1:20 set, why not? I just think that the artists should be giving the audiences more bang for their buck. Also unfortunate in this instance, the better of the two opening acts, Off With Their Heads, played first, with me missing most of their set. The Aggrolites, a soul-funk/reggae outfit (not my cup of tea at all), came on next, which led to me going downstairs to watch the World Series on a TV near the food vendor until it was time for the main act.

In any case, my favorite Bad Religion album is their 2002 effort, The Process of Belief. And indeed, they started the show off with three consecutive tracks from TPoB. They weren't my favorites from that CD, though, and there was something about the way the set started off...something with the sound...the drums overshadowing the vocals...I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Whatever it was, my first thought was, I was going to be disappointed by this show. However, over the next 9 songs or so, things really picked up. Included in this segment were three especially strong tracks off of 2004's The Empire Strikes First - "Sinister Rouge,""Let Them Eat War" and "Los Angeles is Burning." The crowd (other than me) were apparently all die-hard BR fans; they knew every word to every song. This was a welcome contrast to many concerts I've been to recently where the entire audience was talking through the duration of the show. The energy level was high. Unfortunately, so was the temperature in the venue. It was ridiculously hot and muggy INSIDE, something only exacerbated by the packed house of fans. I was sweating my proverbial ya-ya's off. Lead singer, Greg Graffin, even noted the jungle-like conditions at one point between songs, remarking, "I'm sweating like a whore in church up here." And then, referring to the celebration of their 2000-era works, he added, "Because, of course, there was no air conditioning back in the early 2000's, and we're trying to make this experience as authentic as possible!" That got a good chuckle from the sweltering crowd.

Back to the set list: As the second half of the show ensued, they played several songs with which I was not familiar, but which were strong selections all the same. In particular,"Social Suicide" from the previously-mentioned The Empire Strikes First, "Dearly Beloved" from 2007's New Maps of Hell, and especially "Don't Sell Me Short," the lone selection from their 2000 album The New America, were all really rousing live performances. They also finally blistered through two much better selections from my mentioned favorite The Process of Belief - "The Defense" and "Epiphany."

After a couple decent new tracks, the band "cheated" a bit by finishing the main set with two non-2000-era songs - 1994's "Infected" and from the previous year, Recipe For Hate's "American Jesus." That set closer was a great surprise for me, as I think "American Jesus," Bad Religion's rant on Americans' attitudes toward the rest of the world, might be one of the best punk rock songs ever written. The opening and central guitar lick is very simple, but is one of those rock riffs that is unmistakable, and gets your blood rushing.

For the encore, I was sure I knew the two songs that were coming: minor rock radio hit "Sorrow" from The Process of Belief, and, one of my favorite songs ever - by anyone - "New America," the single and title track from The New America. I was half right. They played three songs in closing: "Along the Way," a track off one of their 1980's-era EP's, my correct guess "Sorrow" and, as a nod to the longtime fans, "Fuck Armageddon...This is Hell," a really lackluster choice off of their 1982 debut LP, How Could Hell Be Any Worse? In my opinion, a pretty blah set closer. I was stunned that they didn't play "New America." For anyone who read my blog posts detailing my Top 210 Songs of the 2000's, that one came in at #3. Given the current political climate, and the critical mid-term elections occurring next week, it would have been extremely timely, despite having been written more than a decade earlier.

So, in all, I was pretty disappointed with the absence of a few standout tracks from The Process of Belief

Opening Acts: B-
Venue temperature: D
Band performance: B+
Energy level: A
Audience involvement: A+
Set list: B
Set length: C
Cost: C
OVERALL GRADE: B-

REVIEW: Let Me In

2010-10-10T22:50:00.000-07:00

As a stand-alone film, I suppose Matt Reeves' remake of the Sweden's Lat Den Ratte Komma In (Let the Right One In), itself an adaptation of John Ajvide Lindqvist's novel, is a worthwhile cinematic venture. In other words, if you haven't read the source novel or seen the Swedish film, you might enjoy Let Me In. Having seen Tomas Alfredson's attempt at adapting Lindqvist's story though, I am captive to the realization that Reeves' and the rest of the American crew missed a golden opportunity. Plainly speaking, the Hollywood redo added absolutely nothing to what was, in my estimation, a good but not great film. All the movie snobs start whining and turning up their noses as soon as they learn that a U.S. filmmaker is going to dare attempt an adaptation of an overseas film product. However, if there is room for improvement, then why not? That should be the rule with all remakes...they should only be considered when the story can be lifted to a higher level...or at least masterfully updated for a new era in time. Reeves' project does neither. Of course, it seems that most people think more highly of Alfredson's preceding film than I did, but I can only build off of my own opinions.

The main themes of the original film (and presumably the novel, which I have not yet read) are loneliness, desperation, feeling like an outcast, the notorious effects of bullying, the formation of unlikely companionship, unattainable love, and the like - all worthwhile segments of life to explore. The story centers around a downtrodden and fearful pre-adolescent boy (Oskar in the Swedish telling, Owen in the retread), who is being tormented at school, and is caught in emotional quicksand at home as he's bounced between two inept parents in the midst of a divorce (in the Swedish film, his father is an alcoholic, in the U.S. film, his mother is, and we don't see the father, though it is hinted that he is at the least, a deadbeat jerk). A cute girl, appearing to be around his age, moves into his housing complex with a man one would assume was her father. After an initial reluctance on the part of the girl (the first film's Eli, now christened Abby), the two lonely kids form an endearing friendship. After dropping cryptic hints to Owen, played by Kodi Smit-McPhee (The Road), throughout the first quarter of the film about how different she is, Abby inadvertently reveals her secret (not so secret if you've already heard about the story)...she is actually a hauntingly old vampire who has been trapped in the body of a 12-year-old girl for eternity, and consequently, she needs human blood to survive. The man with whom she lives, played here by Richard Jenkins, is not her father, but somewhat of a servant who commits heinous murders on Abby's behalf in order to provide the much-needed sanguinary nutrition.

From my own viewings of the films, combined with reading several reviews of both, I can determine that the audience is to buy into the idea that Owen is so distraught with his own life, that he would rather befriend, and in effect, give himself over to, a murderous, otherworldly creature, rather than continue on with his miserable existence. In parallel, Abby is perhaps deeply regretful of the eternal enslavement she's fallen victim to, and the hideous actions it requires her to take. I think my main problems with both the Swedish and American film versions, stem from the fact that I simply wasn't sold on either of these scenarios. Owen's predilection for all things violent (something that was much more readily apparent in the Swedish film), and vulnerability to succumb to Abby's barbaric charm, are just not justified by what we see of his life before. I think the American film should have taken the time to create a much more unbearable existence for Owen; one that would have made it more believable for him to end up in the situation in which he does. Likewise, Abby, as played by Chloe Grace Moretz (500 Days of Summer, Kick Ass), doesn't seem remorseful in the least; not of what she has had her father figure do at her behest, nor of her own killings, nor of the empty fate she is intent on bestowing upon her new-found friend. It's therefore, utterly unclear with whom we're supposed to be sympathizing in this whole, unsettling universe. Do we root for the lonely, yet murderous bloodsucker? Do we root for the weakling human outcast who doesn't seem fazed by unprovoked serial homicide? Or, do we root for society to catch up with them and put a stop to the killing spree...sure to otherwise continue for centuries to come. A daunting choice, indeed. The Swedish film does not do an adequate job in setting up the Oskar/Eli relationship, and likewise, Let Me In also fails to build off of its predecessor and make the Owen/Abby saga believable.

I am assuming that the characters are much more well-developed in the novel, and perhaps, that might make the reader's emotional involvement more clear-cut. I will likely do something I've never done before - read a novel after having seen not one, but two film adaptations. I've never even read a book after having seen one film adaptation, so it should be interesting to see how much my knowledge of the story will enhance or detract from the literary experience.

REVIEW: The Social Network

2010-10-03T02:02:00.000-07:00

Just a warning...there are spoilers in this review, so if you are planning on seeing The Social Network, you might want to just read the intro synopsis paragraph and skip the rest.

Critics everywhere seem to be having "filmgasms" over this true-ish account of the creation of, and lawsuits surrounding, the social networking site, Facebook. I definitely found the moviegoing experience entertaining, and it's one of the better films of 2010, however, I think my overall impression falls a little short of the adoration being heaped upon The Social Network. Director, David Fincher (Se7en, Zodiac, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), and screenwriter, Aaron Sorkin (A Few Good Men, The American President, TV's The West Wing) take what, in real life, was most likely a relatively bland and unaffecting series of events, and transform it into a compelling story of a socially awkward intellect, who, quite ironically, created one of the most intrinsically social environments the world has ever seen. The performances, for the most part, were pretty solid, particularly Jesse Eisenberg as Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg. The dialogue was very sharp, adding some comic relief, and again, making this a tellable story. There was something about the experience that left me feeling as if the dramatic component fell somewhat flat. Although there were individual moments of palpable tension amongst the characters, I never got that subtle chill down my back or that "oh shit" feeling that the best dramatic films have a way of stirring up. That, for me, leaves the final grade as a B+...somewhat short of greatness, but still a very worthwhile all-around film. Also, as a fun side note, there is one scene in which Mark Zuckerberg is seen wearing an "Ardsley Athletics" t-shirt. This is of absolutely no consequence to anyone, except for the microscopic sliver of the U.S. population who reside in, or have resided in, the small-town burb of Ardsley, NY. As a graduate of Ardsley High School, it was just cool to see that on screen, as I am sure it is the only time Ardsley has been, or will be, immortalized in film. Unless, of course, another product of the Ardsley school system ever accomplishes something cinema-worthy.

Here's a breakdown of what went right and what went wrong with The Social Network:

DIALOGUE - Aaron Sorkin is probably best known for creating the long-running TV series The West Wing. He was also the scribe behind one of the best films of all-time, A Few Good Men, and another very good film from the 90's, The American President. He also created a great, but short-lived TV dramedy, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, which unbelievably only lasted one season. This guy is a more than accomplished writer. His dialogue in The Social Network is really what drives the film. It's through Sorkin's words that the audience gets insight into the ineptitude of the central character, Mark Zuckerberg, to adequately communicate with other human beings. He feels in his most natural state when his fingers are doing the "talking" - on a computer keyboard. This is, of course, if we are to accurate the entire content of the movie as accurate. The on-screen incarnation of Zuckerberg has no clue how to effectively establish a relationship with a girl, for instance, but he needs relatively few words to systematically tear down those who oppose him and his efforts regarding Facebook. The main victims of these terse tongue-lashings are the attorneys for the Winklevoss twins, who claim Zuckerberg derived the idea for Facebook by stealing their concept for a Harvard-based social networking site, and Eduardo Saverin, Zuckerberg's former friend, who was pushed out as CFO and significant stakeholder of Facebook. So, who doesn't like to see attorneys get their comeuppance?

JESSE EISENBERG - Not exactly award-worthy, but a very assured portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg as the character was written. He's very believable as the awkward nerd genius, who becomes, as indicated by the title of the book on which the film was based, an "accidental billionaire."

MAX MINGHELLA - The son of the late, Oscar-winning director, Anthony Minghella (The English Patient, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Cold Mountain); he portrays Divya Narendra, a business partner of the aforementioned Winklevoss brothers. This was not a prominently featured character, but Minghella steals the scenes he's in, briskly conveying Narendra's incredulity at standing idly by while Zuckerberg usurped the idea for The Harvard Connection social networking site.

ANDREW GARFIELD - In playing one of Mark Zuckerberg's only friends, Eduardo Saverin, Garfield gives what is probably the most accomplished performance in The Social Network. I didn't really feel bad for the Winklevoss brothers; they didn't really do anything that I could ascertain, to warrant credit for the launching and subsequent success of Facebook (at least as events were depicted in the film). However, Saverin, in Garfield's hands, becomes the most sympathetic character in this whole ordeal. He forked over the seed money that allowed Zuckerberg to accumulate the Internet bandwidth necessary to launch the early incarnation of Facebook. He subsequently poured additional capital into a bank account as the Facebook phenomenon spread. And the thanks he got for all his early personal and financial support - he was purportedly tricked into signing documents that relieved him of his significant financial stake in the company, as well as his title of CFO. Saverin's pain, anger, helplessness, and sense of betrayal are all central to the core of the story, and Garfield hits all the right emotional notes.

DIRECTING - David FincherSe7en and Panic Room well enough, but wasn't so sold on Zodiac, which was probably his most critically acclaimed film until now. And Benjamin Button was, quite simply, a bore. I'm eager to see what he does with the Hollywood adaptation of the Swedish supersmash literary "Millennium Trilogy," otherwise known as The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo books. With The Social Network, I've already divulged my main gripe regarding the level of drama. For me, this was most evident in two scenes. One, was when Eduardo Saverin finds out that he's signed away his financial stake in Facebook and title of CFO. A particular directing convention is employed here, and it's one that I happen to hate. Here, you see Saverin and some other character, most likely a company lawyer of some kind, conversing in a small conference room at the new Facebook offices. The camera pans back so the audience is on the other side of the glass wall, and you see the characters' lips moving, but you can no longer hear what's being said. This is just a pet peeve of mine, but I detest when directors do this in film. To me, it completely interrupts the emotional momentum. Another example of Fincher losing his grip on the tension, comes in the very last scene of the film. Marilyn Delpy, one of the associates on the legal team representing Mark Zuckerberg, is left alone in the room with Zuckerberg. She attempts to convince him of why he's going to have no choice but to agree to settle the two lawsuits out of court. In my estimation, this should be a bone-chilling realization for Zuckerberg, who up until then, had been quite cavalier in his attitude toward the entire proceeding. As the screen overlay in the next few moments tells us, the Winklevoss brothers and partner Narendra received a cool $65 million in their settlement. This must have been a bitter pill for Zuckerberg to swallow. Rashida Jones, as Delpy, takes a more cutesy, flirty stance in explaining the situation to Zuckerberg. Kind of anti-climactic.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - I'm sure pretty much everyone will disagree with me on this count, since people seem to drool over everything this guy does. The audience was to believe that Mark Zuckerberg was completely and utterly mesmerized by Napster co-founder, Sean Parker; that he was that enigmatic of a personality that Zuckerberg mindlessly pushed his best friend aside in order to follow the advice of his new found business mentor. This was supposed to be an unabashed man crush from the very first meeting. I just didn't buy Timberlake as someone emanating those electric vibes. Maybe it's because I personally just don't get the whole Timberlake phenomenon, and I was projecting that onto his performance here. Maybe it's because when I see him, I think of his SNL sketches. Who knows? I just wasn't sold on this particular bit of casting.

And that's pretty much it :-)

Concert Weekend

2010-09-19T23:45:00.000-07:00

I know I said my previous post would be my last from Las Vegas. Well, I lied. This weekend, I attended what will be my last two concerts as a Las Vegas resident, so I decided to do a little recap.

Kip Winger/Warrant - Sunset Station Hotel & Casino: As a child of the 80's, I still enjoy the hair band music...and I'm one of the few who likes a lot of the NEW music from these bands. I'd seen Kip Winger once, and Warrant an inexplicable three times (inexplicable because they were not any good any of those times - they always seem to be packaged with better bands though). I only went to this show because, well, it was free. The last time I saw Warrant was at this same venue, and it was the most bizarre concert performance I've ever witnessed, as original lead singer Jani Lane was absolutely blitzed to the point that he couldn't carry a tune and barely sang any of the words anyway. Got my money back from that one. This time, with a new singer in tow, things were looking up. Let's start with the opening act though. Despite having been relegated to eternal "wuss" status by repeated ridicule from MTV's Beavis & Butthead, Kip Winger is one of the more vocally talented performers from the 80's hard rock scene, and he proved it with this set. It was just him and his acoustic guitar, so that voice was front and center. The Winger tunes sounded really tight, and although he didn't select the songs I liked from his solo sets, overall, it was a great performance. I don't care what anyone says, In the Heart of the Young was one of the rockingest albums of the 80's start to finish. He invited some random dude who volunteered from the audience to come up and sing with him on the hit ballad "Miles Away" from that CD, and Scott, whoever he was, was actually really good and kept up with almost all the harmonies. (Grade - Performance: A, Set List: B, Running Time: A-, Overall: B+)

As for Warrant, all original members, save for the oft-inebriated Lane, are back in the band these days, and I could tell from last time that they sound really good (it was easy to discern considering Lane wasn't even singing). New singer Robert Mason is nothing special, but he was up to the task and sounded fine on all their hits. Finally hearing the songs the way they were meant to be sung made a big difference, and reminded me why Warrant were one of my favorite bands from that era. The whole set, save for one song, was comprised of tunes from their first two albums, which is probably what the majority of the audience wanted, so I can't fault them for that. "Cherry Pie" of course, was the closer, and surprisingly enough, probably the least enjoyable performance. "Uncle Tom's Cabin" from that same album is probably one of my favorite songs of the 80's, hair band or not, so it was awesome to finally hear it done with capable vocals. I actually think that Kip Winger would have done an awesome job filling in as singer, but oh well. (Grade - Performance: B+, Set List: B+, Running Time: B+, Overall: B+)

Don Henley - Red Rock Hotel & Casino: Despite Rolling Stone's inane top whatever lists, Don Henley is one of the best songwriters of all-time. I wish he had put out more solo albums, but such is music industry bureaucracy. This was the 2nd time I decided to break my personal rule of not spending more than $50 for a concert ticket. The first was Bon Jovi a few years ago, and that remains one of the best concert performances I've ever seen. This one was the awesome concert that almost was. Henley himself sounded amazing. I actually found myself questioning throughout the first song, whether or not he was lip synching, because his vocals were that spot on. Like with Bon Jovi, you pretty much can't go wrong with the set list...every song is a hit, and every one is pretty much an incredible tune. Two things ruined the experience for me. First and foremost was the audience. When I say that every single person in the crowd started talking the second they set foot into the pool area, and didn't stop until...well, they didn't stop at all, I'm not exaggerating. I paid $75 (and those were the "cheap" tix) to hear Don Henley sing. Apparently, everyone else paid money to stand around a pool and have a conversation. Since it's not one of those amp-exploding shows where your ears are ringing for 5 days afterward, the perpetual chatter actually detracted a lot from hearing the actual music. It's just mind-boggling. The second thing that ruined the experience for me was Henley's fault. After about the third song, he specifically said, "We're going to cram as many songs in tonight as possible. They're going to kick us out around 11:15, and we're gonna play as many songs as we can." Well, as I knew they would, they bolted from the stage at promptly 10:45, leaving an extra half an hour of potential performance time on the table. Why bother making a statement like that if it has no bearing in reality? That kills the experience for me. Bon Jovi played for nearly 2 1/2 hours, giving the fans every single cent-worth of their money. Henley, with just as large of an arsenal of songs, possibly larger, apparently had somewhere better to be. That having been said, on the sheer merits of the performance and classic songs, the show was enjoyable, but could have been so much more. Check out this set list though:

One of These Nights
Sunset Grill
The Long Run
Everything is Different Now
New York Minute
Boys of Summer
Everybody Wants to Rule the World (Tears for Fears cover)
I Just Don't Give a Damn (George Jones cover)
Heart of the Matter
Witchy Woman
The End of The Innocence
It Don't Matter to the Sun (Garth Brooks/Chris Gaines cover)
Last Worthless Evening
All She Wants to Do is Dance
Life in the Fast Lane
ENCORE:
Hotel California
Desperado

A couple notes about the set (not the exact order, but pretty close). Many Eagles songs were missing, but mostly because they were not Henley tunes. The Eagles had 4 other guys who contributed lead vocals through the years, so it was understandable that Henley would choose "his" songs over the others. Unfortunately, many of my favorite Eagles songs were sung by Glenn Frey. With the extra half hour Henley could have used, he might have included "Get Over It" from their 1994 "comeback" album, Hell Freezes Over, anything from Henley's most recent solo effort, Inside Job (from which "Everything is Different Now" was oddly selected over the hit single "Taking You Home"), or one of several strong tunes from the 2007 Eagles CD, Long Road Out of Eden. The Tears for Fears cover was a great choice...something that everyone knew and that was perfectly suited for Henley's voice. I had no real opinion on the George Jones song, but the totally out-of-left-field choice of "It Don't Matter to the Sun" was a great addition to the set. I'd never heard the song before. It came from Garth Brooks' oddball turn as Chris Gaines, an alter ego he dreamt up in order to put out a pop/rock album in 1999. Henley made the song sound like a classic ballad and hit it out of the park. I can't find any trace of the original, although the three Gaines songs that are on Youtube are positively awful. "Last Worthless Evening" is one of my favorite songs...ever, so I'm happy he didn't leave that one off. However, I must say, if I never heard "Hotel California" ever again, my life would not be any worse off. The predictable encore of that and "Desperado" (which I was shocked to discover was never a charting single for The Eagles), really didn't get my juices flowing for the big finale. (Grade - Performance: A+, Set List: B+, Running Time: C, Overall: B+)

I've already been checking out the concert scene in NYC for when I arrive back home. So many great choices, I can't even decide which ones I'm going to attend.

Start Spreading the News...

2010-08-28T13:42:00.000-07:00

I have decided to close up shop here in the City of Sin and return to the state of my birth, New York. After seven long, interesting, up and down (mostly up) years here in Las Vegas, it’s time for my curtain call. It’s a bittersweet turn of events, for sure. I enjoyed most of my time here (oh, and that amazing weather), and will miss getting to see my amigos from the Bay Area on a semi-regular basis, but of course, it never sucks to be close to family. There is simply nothing left for me here in this crazy and intriguing city. It was a great ride for several years, but unfortunately, the tide has turned, and employment prospects here have been grim for quite some time. Hopefully, New York will bring a much needed fresh start and new adventures, which ironically, is what I was originally seeking when I stepped off the plane at McCarran Airport into the 111-degree haze in July 2003.

My first exposure to Las Vegas came way back in December 1998, when my best friend, Matt, and I, both ventured to the land of booze and debauchery for the first time. OK, so there wasn’t really any booze and debauchery involved in our doings, but it did serve for some laughs when we arrived at the Palace Station Hotel only to be surrounded by a wave of tall, brawny men in ten-gallon hats and chaps. Unbeknownst to us at the time, the National Finals Rodeo event is held here every December. Not exactly what we were expecting. In any case, this was a time when the Bellagio had just opened its doors, and the Venetian across the street had yet to dole out its first poker chip. Little did I know, just a year later, Matt would be moving to Las Vegas, leaving the East Coast behind. This move surely would play no small role in my own journey Westward four years after that.

Then there was my trip to visit Matt in January 2001. Accompanied by my other close friend, John, this 9-day spell included my introduction to the Grand Canyon, Red Rock Canyon, Valley of Fire, the Vegas club scene, Vegas topless revues, unsuccessfully trying to pick up Vegas women, and I’m sure some other activities that escape my mind at this time.

Let’s not forget the October 2002 jaunt, the sole purpose of which was to hunt down the house that Matt and I intended to purchase as an investment, which ended up being the instigation for me to relocate here. Southern Highlands at the time was just a mound of rubble (or several mounds of rubble, actually), but it was to become home just nine short months later. Meanwhile, Matt and I enjoyed our luxury accommodations at the highly-recommended Ogden House Hotel (I assume everyone can spot sarcasm when it’s intended). We must have missed the brochures touting it as the methamphetamine capital of the world, but I’m sure it added some color to our trip. Somehow, the barriers of our first-floor room remained unpenetrated by any unsavory characters (save for Matt and me, of course).

And then, finally, fate brought me here to stay (at least for a number of years) in July of 2003. Since then, I’ve lived in 3 different residences, managed 6 tenants on my own, managed 2 sets of tenants with assistance from a property manager, had 1 tenant trash the house and bolt on me, invested in and miraculously gotten my money back from 2 failed mixed-use condo projects, dated 1 girl from Mexico, dated 1 girl from Las Vegas whom I rarely saw in two years of going out, casually dated a few others, devoured approximately 163,726 pounds of buffet food, went to exactly 1 strip club, went to exactly 3 nightclubs, played on 4 softball teams, went to 2 minor league hockey games, went to 1 minor league baseball game, went to the top of the Stratosphere Hotel once, went to the top of the Paris Hotel twice, got exactly 1 traffic violation, narrowly avoided 1 extremely drunk driver, wrote 1 film screenplay, had 1 road trip to San Diego postponed due to snow (yes, snow), had 2 successful and enjoyable road trips to San Diego, witnessed the Yankees lose 1 World Series of baseball and win 1 World Series of baseball, witnessed 1 exciting in-the-money finish by my best friend at the World Series of Poker Main Event, spent approximately $3,724 on those stupid Wheel of Fortune slot machines without ever hitting the jackpot, hit exactly 1 royal flush on video poker, saw Le Reve, saw Phantom of the Opera, saw LOVE, saw Brad Garrett’s stand-up act (drunk – him, not me), saw Norm MacDonald’s stand-up act (even more drunk – him, not me), saw Jay Leno’s stand-up act (should have been drunk – him…OK, and maybe me too), saw the rock band Warrant with original lead singer, Jani Lane (more drunk than you have ever seen a live performer in your life – trust me), started 1 blog, had 2 amazing rock musicians read at least one of my blog posts, founded 1 company, invested in 1 failed start-up, invested in 1 very promising start-up (with a still yet-to-be-determined level of success), bought 1 hybrid car, seen a countless number of concerts – many of which involved bands containing either the words Leppard or Blossoms in their names, joined 1 short-lived bowling team, attended 1 South By Southwest Music Festival, attended 3 weddings elsewhere in the world, attended 1 wedding in Las Vegas, been caught in traffic 2,014 times (roughly), participated in 2 scavenger hunts, took a picture of one Elvis, spotted only 1 celebrity (Vanilla Ice – yeah, I don’t get out much), experienced approximately 486 hundred-degree days, experienced exactly 1 week of multiple snow days, saw no scorpions, saw no black widow spiders (thank God), had 2 floods in my condo, had 1 mushroom grow up through my carpet during flood, had 2 real estate agents, had 2 attorneys, had 3 accountants, had 1 financial advisor, flew OVER July 4^th fireworks once, went to the Strip for New Year’s fireworks once, had friends and family surprise me for 2 birthdays, lost one close family member (hi, Grandpa Marcel), gained two God-dogs (who knew there was such a thing), guest DJ'd one hour of commercial radio, voted for 1 U.S. President, went snowboarding once, went to a shooting range once, had 2 computer purchasing experiences at Best Buy, enjoyed ZERO computer purchasing experiences at Best Buy, have spent 22 months unemployed (3 upon first arriving, 19 post-layoff), and held exactly 1 job for 5 years and 3 months.

That, my friends, is an extremely non-chronological summarization of my time here in Las Vegas. It’s certainly been an unanticipated and interesting segment of my life. Now, as they say…onto the next chapter.

Viva Las Vegas – Au Revoir…

The Film That Should Be Set on Fire

2010-07-30T18:54:00.000-07:00

The world seems to be abuzz with chatter about the "Millennium Trilogy," as the triple set of blockbuster novels by Swedish author, Stieg Larsson, has been labeled. Not only have all three books been adapted into Swedish films, but now, acclaimed American director, David Fincher (Se7en, Fight Club, ...Benjamin Button) has signed on to helm the upcoming Hollywood revamps.

I, myself, have read the first two books in the trilogy, and as of today, have also seen the first two Swedish film adaptations. My assessment: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo was a good, but not great novel, that received a pretty decent transfer to the cinema. There were some glaring details from the book that were dropped in the making of the film, but I don't really fault the filmmakers for that. It was more a shining example of why it is so difficult to adapt books into films. Even at 2 1/2 hours, there simply wasn't enough room to include everything. Moving onto The Girl Who Played With Fire, you have a great novel with a couple of minor flaws, that has been demolished by a complete and utter hackjob of a film adaptation. If the objective of the filmmakers in this instance was to suck all of the drama, suspense, and emotion out of the story, well - Mission: Accomplished.

For reasons unbeknownst to me, an entirely different creative team was behind the scenes of this second film, than there was for the first. Perhaps that explains the nosedive in quality. Things started off promising. They lopped off an entire story thread from the beginning - one which, in my mind, constituted the most obvious flaw in the novel. So, I was happy to see they did not include it in the film. Then, throwing in a hot lesbian sex scene never hurts. But, from there, it was all downhill. Again, one must be cognizant of the inherent problems involved in the book-to-movie transition. However, this adaptation was just sloppy. First off, certain supporting characters appeared toward the beginning of the film with virtually no introduction or explanation of who they were. I think one hallmark of a great adapted screenplay is that someone should be able to see the movie without having read the book, and still enjoy the experience. That is impossible to do here, because if you haven't read the book, you'd have absolutely no idea what was going on.

Secondly, they changed things that didn't necessarily contribute to keeping the running time of the movie down. There was simply no reason to change them. There was a particularly critical juncture where the heroine, Lisbeth Salander, was supposed to have been at the scene of a double murder around the time that the crime occurred. This lent a sliver of doubt in the readers' minds as to whether she may have actually had some involvement in the killings. In the book, there was also a clear connection between those deaths, and a third murder that took place. Again, placing Salander's innocence in question. In the film, Lisbeth's whereabouts are completely rearranged, as far as what the viewers can see for themselves. There is passing mention made by another character that she was supposedly at the location of the first killings, but it's never explained why we're supposed to know that. That one seemingly minor oversight deflates the power of the entire mystery that is central to the plot. Later, there is another scene in which one of the major villains is entangled in a fight scene with two supporting characters. The way those characters escape the grasp of the enemy is just made up out of thin air by the filmmakers. It's totally and unnecessarily different from what happens in the book. Here, instead of being dramatic, it just makes the entire sequence of events seem hokey and unrealistic.

The third thing that prevented me from enjoying this film, was the editing. I know absolutely nothing about film editing, but despite that, I could tell this was done with extreme incompetence. The movement of the characters in several scenes was so jarring, I literally threw my hands up in the air as if to say, "WTF?" In one instance, Lisbeth had broken into the apartment of her nemesis, and then was seen rifling through his things while he slept. But, without knowing what was going on from having read the book, you almost couldn't tell that she was in the same location. One second she was just inside the front door, the next second, she was sitting at some desk.

Lastly, there were a couple of climactic scenes in the story, where the emotion should have been running high. But the way those scenes played out here on screen, I felt like I might as well have been watching a panda chewing bamboo in a zoo exhibit.

The whole thing was utterly disappointing. Especially because I was looking forward to seeing what Noomi Rapace could do as Lisbeth in this second film. One major reason I liked reading The Girl Who Played With Fire more than I did ...Tattoo, was because the Lisbeth Salander character was so much more developed in the continuation of the saga. We finally started to get a glimpse into her backstory, and instead of being a mysterious supporting character, which is essentially the role she played in ...Tattoo, she evolved into the emotional center of the story. Seeing a couple of English-speaking interviews with Rapace, it was immediately evident what an amazing transformation she underwent to "become" Lisbeth. I really thought we might be in for an award-worthy performance in this second film. But she simply had nothing with which to work. Salander barely even spoke throughout the entire film, once again relegating the character to being a small part of an ensemble.

For those who have read the books and seen the first two Swedish film adaptations, the fear seems to be great that Hollywood is going to completely ruin the trilogy, as it is alleged to do with all reworkings of foreign films. I, for one, am actually hoping that a skilled group of American filmmakers can transcend what the Swedes have done, particularly with this second film. Unfortunately, I'll have to wait a while. The U.S. version of the first film is not due out until Christmas '11. Here's hoping the third book will at least tide me over until then.

INCEPTION: The verdict

2010-07-17T15:08:00.000-07:00

So, I've been building this one up for a while, as have many critics and movie buffs. See one of my previous posts for my explanation of why I was so eagerly anticipating this film. Basically, the director (Chris Nolan), and several of the actors (Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Leavitt, Cillian Murphy) have all been involved in prior favorite movies of mine, so I felt like this was a "can't miss." At the same time that this notion led me to have grandiose expectations, it simultaneously forced me to lower those expectations, because how could I not be somewhat disappointed after already anointing Inception the movie of the year? Bottom line: it was not the epic film I was hoping it would be, but it also was not as much of a letdown as I feared it might be.

I'm going to describe very little about the plot, so as to not spoil things. The film centers around Dom Cobb (DiCaprio), who is a thief-for-hire; his specialty is inserting himself in people's dreams in order to pilfer their ideas for his own (or, presumably, his employers') gain. He has a team of skilled assistants: his long-time right-hand man, Arthur (Gordon-Leavitt); Eames (Tom Hardy) - who can shapeshift himself to take on the physical characteristics of another person; Yusuf the chemist (Dileep Rao); and, for the latest job that serves as the focus of Inception, new hire, Ariadne (Page) - who is an expert architect saddled with the challenge of creating the landscapes of the dreamworld in which all the action takes place. In the movie, a Japanese tycoon, Saito (Ken Watanabe), hires Cobb and his team to pull off an "inception." This is an instance where the team must insert themselves into someone's subconscious, not to steal ideas, but to plant them. Saito wants to trick a business rival, Robert Fischer (Murphy), into wanting to break up his dying father's business empire, effectively giving Saito a stranglehold on the worldwide energy industry. Inception is a highly dangerous and unpredictable undertaking, and no one is really sure whether or not it can be achieved without dire consequences. The motivation for Cobb is that he has been prevented from seeing his two kids back in the U.S., and Saito claims to be able to rectify this situation, upon Cobb's successful completion of the mission at hand. To explain any further would be inadvisable.

One thing has to be said above all else: you will not understand this film after one viewing. I, myself, am contemplating whether I want to shell out the cash for a second go. I probably won't see it again until it's on cable, but just keep in mind that anyone writing a review after seeing it for the first time needs to reserve the right to change his or her views on the film.

That having been said, let's start with what was great about Inception. There likely will not be a more creative, imaginative, or original movie out this year. Also, DiCaprio was pretty spot on in the lead role. Sometimes, I have a hard time taking him seriously, because he still looks so young, but he's a formidable enough actor that he seems to often be able to make me forget about that and become engrossed in the character. This is at least true for the last four films in which I've seen him: The Departed, Blood Diamond, Shutter Island, and now, Inception. Third, I usually prefer movies that are thought-provoking. If I'm still talking and/or thinking about a film weeks after seeing it for the first time, then that automatically wins some points in my book. I am positive that Inception will be such a film. Lastly, the ending was pretty much perfect. I've written before that one of my pet peeves with cinema, is when Hollywood simply doesn't know how to wrap everything up. There is a tendency in those situations to either try to tie all the ends up in a nice, neat bow, kill off almost every major character (see the hideous Mel Gibson flop, Edge of Darkness, from earlier this year - or, on second thought, don't see it), or create a final scene so ambiguous that it's just plain annoying and unfulfilling (hello, No Country for Old Men!). All throughout Inception, I was 100% positive that I knew exactly how it was going to end, and I was dreading the cop-out, predictable conclusion. And Nolan did end it that way...sort of. He put enough of a twist of uncertainty on the otherwise foreseen closing shots to win kudos from me. I can't describe it in any more detail without giving critical things away.

Now, for what didn't work. First and foremost, naturally, is the overall ambiguity of everything that occurred in the film. Thought-provoking and creative: good. Brain-melting mindfuck: not so good. The average filmgoer simply can't keep track of all the reality-bending layers of plot that Inception throws at us. It makes for an interesting experience, but at the end of the day, we kind of want to know what in the Hollywood Hills is going on. One aspect of the film that has been repeatedly ripped by critics, is that Ellen Page's character, Ariadne, basically serves as a point of exposition for the audience (exposition is when the writer deliberately utilizes the dialogue to explain the story - typically a major no-no in creating a quality film). The fact is, though, that without some exposition, we'd be even more lost. It was simultaneously necessary, yet detracting from the artistic integrity of the film.

Secondly, Ellen Page, as much as I love her, was grossly miscast here. Ariadne, in addition to untangling things for the audience, also served as a confidante and conscience to DiCaprio's Cobb. The character needed to be much more strong-willed and dominant, in my estimation. Like DiCaprio, Page's cross-to-bear is her youthful looks, but being 12+ actual years younger than Leo, it's much more of an obstacle for her at this early stage of her career. Seeing Juno in this movie was simply unsettling. What's more, DiCaprio and Page had virtually zero on-screen chemistry. I didn't believe for a second that they cared one iota about each other (not in a romantic way - that, thankfully, was not what the filmmakers were trying to depict). In fact, the entire "team" of dream invaders felt like it was just patched together, rather than being a tight-knit group of highly-skilled comrades. I just never believed that they were working together because they wanted to be.

That leads me to my next issue. I felt the supporting characters were rather under-developed. When you have a team of players moving the story forward in what basically amounts to an action-thriller, you need to have really sharp writing in order to keep the audience interested in each character. That simply wasn't the case here. Eames (Hardy) was designed to be the wise-ass, sarcastic guy. Yet, he had virtually no funny lines in the entire film. As for Arthur (Gordon-Leavitt), it was unclear to me exactly what role he played on this team. He's been described in other reviews as the "organizer." But I really had no idea what his place was, and generally didn't care about his character at all. They tried to construct one funny scene between him and Ariadne, but it fell somewhat flat.

Another supporting character, that of Saito, presented one significant problem; I could understand virtually nothing of what Ken Watanabe was saying during the entire film. I don't know if it was his Japanglish creating the problem or if he was simply mumbling his lines, but I was unnerved by this the whole time. There were some pretty crucial lines of dialogue that I missed completely.

Overall, Inception was one part action flick, one part heist film, one part psychological thriller, and one part love story. Those last two elements worked...the first two did not. Some of the action-oriented scenes, particularly those set in the snowy mountains toward the end, were just plain boring and confusing. And I was not invested in the caper involving Cillian Murphy's character. The whole thing surrounding Robert Fischer and his domineering and unaccepting father, Maurice (Pete Posthlewaite), was a retread of all the daddy issues we've seen time and time again in film...and these characters were barely even relevant to the most compelling parts of the movie. For me, the love story between Dom Cobb and his wife, Mal (and by extension, with their two kids), was the aspect of Inception by which I was most captivated. Mal was played with perfect sadness, regret, and desperation, by Oscar-winner, Marion Cotillard. This thread was almost a sub-plot, but it was the most dramatic and compelling layer of the film by a longshot. It provided the emotional center of Inception, and served to set up the few genuine plot twists, as well as the craftily-handled ending. I almost wish that Dom, Mal and their kids had been the main focus, with all the other acid-trippy stuff serving as the decorative wallpaper for the film, but I'm not sure how that would have turned out.

In short, Inception is a good film, falling somewhat short of great. Some are saying it is Chris Nolan's masterpiece. I say that accolade still belongs to Memento, a film that likewise, takes the viewer on a mind-boggling journey of what's real and what's not, but that in my opinion, pulls it off with much more flare, and stands as one of my favorite movies of all time.

I would recommend Inception, again with the caveat that you will be confused, and potentially be compelled to see it more than once. Overall grade: B+

Furry Toilets

2010-05-10T23:25:00.000-07:00

There's something that's been bothering me for my entire life, so I thought I'd take now as an opportunity to get it off my chest. OK, well not my entire life. I wasn't really concerned about it when I was two years old. Actually, I guess I wasn't really concerned about it even last week. But, let's just say, for the sake of argument, that it's been on my mind for "a while."

Furry toilets. More specifically, why do they exist? You know what I'm talking about. Those ridiculous looking toilet seat-back covers that many people insist on using to "enhance" the decor of their bathrooms. These things honestly look like someone was carpeting their home, ended up with some carpet scraps, and said, "Hmmm...what should I do with this? Hey! I know! I'll make a furry hat for my toilet."

There is no conceivable purpose for putting carpet on the back of your toilet seat. Are you anticipating a day when you will be barefoot and walking on top of your toilet, and you're afraid that the bare back of the toilet seat will not play nice with the sensitive underside of your feet? Do you want to ensure comfort just in case there comes a time when you are entrenched in a heated game of Yahtzee in the bathroom, and in need of a comfortable place to sit? (And where exactly will the other players be, in the bathtub? Great, now we need more carpet scraps.) Or perhaps, you want to provide insulation so your neighbors below (in the toilet?) will not be disturbed by your constant pacing around that 180-square-inch area.

And what exactly is the protocol for cleaning and maintaining the colorful, furry appearance of your porcelain soldier's ushanka? When you vacuum the rest of your house, are you supposed to tend to the dust mites on your toilet top as well? If you have your carpets steam cleaned, do you make a special request that Mr. Steam Cleaner Man include the toilet hats?

I just can't understand what the thought process is that results in someone saying, yes...toilet-carpet-makes sense. I don't know much about interior decorating. OK, I know NOTHING about interior decorating. But I know that, much like the facts that dogs should not wear sweaters, toilets should not wear hats. Nobody should ever have a furry toilet.

Take a Walk

2010-05-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

A revolutionary new concept in public travel has emerged: it's called "walking." Walking, according to the article at Wikipedia (you know a concept is highly complex when it requires a Wiki entry to explain it to the masses), is one of the main "gaits of locomotion among legged animals." It is accomplished by lifting one leg off the ground, swinging it forward from the hip, placing it on the ground in front of you, and then repeating the same motion with the other leg. If you keep doing this over and over again, you will find you are able to relocate yourself from here (your current position) to over there (your intended destination). And I, inevitably stuck behind your once motionless ass, will subsequently also be able to get over there. It's ingenious, really. No longer will you be confined to one place. You are now free to roam and explore foreign areas such as that corner, the end of the hallway, and the until now only mythical "other room." Yes, it is a strange and unfamiliar world we live in with iPads, Blackberries, Wi-Fi, and now walking. From the neurons and synapses that brought you sitting, kneeling, and rolling over, comes a remarkable new activity that is sure to provide you with hours of enjoyment. Just think, now, when the person behind you screams at you in frustration to, "Move the fuck out of the way, you moron!" you will actually know what to to do in order to comply with his or her polite request. Feel free to refer back to the Wikipedia article or any number of other helpful online sources if you have trouble remembering the correct sequence of motions (you can view this article by clicking on the title of this blog entry). Hell, now that we have all these handheld techno-geeky gadgets, the instructions will always be at your fingertips. Once you feel that you have mastered the art of walking, you may be ready to up the ante. Increasing the speed at which you ambulate your legs in the above-described forward motion will eventually result in a highly advanced and much more technical form of walking...RUNNING. I stress, this is not for beginners. Little is known about the benefits and drawbacks of running. However, one thing is clear. This activity will come in quite handy when I am behind you and struck with the overwhelming and uncontrollable urge to smack you upside the head.

In My Dreams?

2010-04-21T13:55:00.000-07:00

If you've read my "Movies of the Decade" blog post from last October, you'll know that my Top 4 cinema selections from the 00's were, from #3 (tie) to #1, Memento, The Lookout, The Departed, and Hard Candy. Now, if you go read Entertainment Weekly's "Summer Movie Preview," you might be inclined to believe that somebody, somewhere, infiltrated my dreams and assembled my perfect storm of director and actors to come up with this Summer's sure-to-be blockbuster, Inception. Christopher Nolan, who helmed both Memento as well as the #16 entry on my list, The Dark Knight, wrote and directed this one. As for the cast? Let's start with Leonardo DiCaprio, who was part of the amazing ensemble from The Departed, and who also turned in a gritty performance in my #11 flick from last decade, Blood Diamond. Leo is joined this time around by Joseph Gordon-Leavitt (The Lookout), and Ellen Page (Hard Candy). And just for good measure, let's throw in The Dark Knight's Cillian Murphy and Michael Caine. Seriously, somebody was sifting through my thoughts while I slept. There's no other explanation for how they came up with this masterful array of silver screen professionals, tailored specifically to my off the beaten path tastes. But the real kicker? The film's plot is centered around a group of thieves who insert themselves into strangers' subconscious and steal their dreams for corporate gain! (Cue creepy Twilight Zone theme here) I mean, that's exactly what they did to me in order to create this movie! Now, of course, the only thing that remains to be seen is if Inception can live up to my lofty expectations. It seems like every time I think a dream cast has been assembled, I'm only left disappointed (see Heat, with Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino, and Chris Nolan's own Insomnia, with Pacino and Robin Williams). Al Pacino's not interfering this time, so hopefully, all will be well. All I know is, I know where I will be on July 16th...in a movie theater, ready to add the next entry to my list of Top Movies of the '10's. Anyone else who wants to hop into my dream state and turn things into reality, feel free.

Oscars Schmoscars

2010-02-28T18:18:00.000-08:00

Well, since I'm always chiming in with my opinions on movies, I figured I'd throw my hat in the ring with respect to the Oscar races. I'm utilizing the typical Should Win/Will Win format, as employed by most major respectable magazines and newspapers, because...well...I'm not creative enough to come up with something original. So, here it goes...

Let's start with the least interesting...what Entertainment Weekly classifies as "The Other Races." These include Best Visual Effects, Best Editing, Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing, Best Art Direction, and Best Cinematography. Safe to say, I wouldn't know a brilliant sound mixer if he or she hit me over the head with a...er...sound mixing machine. I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that Avatar SHOULD and WILL win all of these. It won't, but I know it should and will win at least half of those, so the odds are on my side here. Primarily, if it doesn't win Best Visual Effects, an international investigation needs to be launched.

Best Adapted Screenplay
SHOULD WIN: Precious - Geoffrey Fletcher
WILL WIN: Up in the Air - Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

Best Original Screenplay
SHOULD WIN: I haven't seen either The Messenger or Up, but based on how much I enjoyed the other three films here, I'd say one of those two deserves to win.
WILL WIN: Inglorious Basterds - Quentin Tarantino. QT hasn't won anything significant since Pulp Fiction, so I expect this to be the Academy's make-up kiss to him. It's possible that voters might go with The Hurt Locker here in lieu of giving it the nod for the more major awards.

Best Supporting Actress
SHOULD WIN: Mo'Nique (Precious) - I didn't quite flip out over this performance as much as others have, but it still blows away the other two nominees who I actually saw...Vera Farmiga and Anna Kendrick from Up in the Air. Kendrick has no business being nominated for anything...she gave one of the most annoying performances of the year, in my opinion. I didn't see Nine, but it certainly looked ridiculous, and Penelope Cruz got her award last year. I also didn't see Crazy Heart, but according to general consensus, Jeff Bridges overshadows everything else in that film.
WILL WIN: Mo'Nique - this is as much of a lock as Daniel Day-Lewis and Javier Bardem were a couple years ago for There Will Be Blood and No Country for Old Men. There is absolutely no way on Earth Mo'Nique loses.

Best Supporting Actor
SHOULD WIN: Haven't seen enough of these films, but I wonder why Alfred Molina wasn't rewarded with a nomination over Matt Damon (Invictus) for his work in An Education. I walked out of the theater halfway into that film, but he was the only even mildly entertaining aspect of it.
WILL WIN: Christoper Waltz (Inglorious Basterds) - Not quite as much of a walk as with Supporting Actress, but close. If The Lovely Bones had been a box office and critical success, this would have been Stanley Tucci's to lose, but the lackluster response to that film led The Messenger's Woody Harrelson and especially Waltz to leapfrog him in the awards season showdowns.

Best Actress
SHOULD WIN: Meryl Streep (Julie and Julia) - On another planet, in another cosmos, in some distant time, Sandra Bullock's name might warrant mentioning in the same sentence as Streep's. But sorry, Sandy...not in this world. The surprising thing for me, was how much I actually enjoyed Julie and Julia. That marks the second year in a row that Streep led the charge in what I thought was one of the best films, or in last year's case of Doubt, THE best film, of the year. I was also surprised that I liked The Blind Side, but it was not even close to J&J.
WILL WIN: Meryl Streep - She's becoming the Susan Lucci of the Oscars. Although she won three awards earlier in her career, she's 0 for her last 12 nominations. I think it's time to put an end to that nonsense. I can only pray that Bullock's name is not called, which it may well be. I also think Gabourey Sidibe deserved more buzz for her performance in Precious. Why did Mo'Nique get all the attention there when she was only in a supporting role?

Best Actor
SHOULD WIN: My SHOULD WIN unfortunately wasn't even within 10,000 miles of being considered for a nomination. Robert DeNiro in Everybody's Fine, to me, was a return to form for our generation's greatest actor. I still don't get how nobody else liked that film. Out of the actual nominees, again by virtue of the fact that I didn't like the three movies I saw (Invictus, Up in the Air, and The Hurt Locker), I'd say either Colin Firth (A Single Man) or Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart).

WILL WIN: Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart) - If you had asked me three months ago, I would have said George Clooney, hands down. Crazy Heart originally wasn't even supposed to be released in time for this year's Oscar race. So Bridges basically came out of nowhere, but it looks like he is a strong favorite.

Best Director
SHOULD WIN: James Cameron (Avatar) - I know I'm prone to hyperbole, but I say this with extreme seriousness; if Cameron loses to The Hurt Locker's Kathryn Bigelow, his ex-wife, somebody, somewhere should die a slow and painful death. I mean honestly, there will be no comprehensible excuse. There's already no excuse for her beating him for the Director's Guild Award - a primary reason many people now think she'll actually win the damn Oscar. True, I know nothing about the nuances of film direction, but for the love of Pandora, Cameron freakin' invented the technology he used to helm Avatar. He basically revolutionized film making as we know it, with the entire industry now scrambling to figure out how to make every film 3D and not look like colossal failures up against Cameron's benchmark work. Please tell me how...HOW does Bigelow's accomplishment even approach this level? Thankfully, she's the only threat and no one else has a shot.
WILL WIN: I'm sticking to my guns and saying James Cameron wins.

Best Picture
SHOULD WIN: Avatar - It bears repeating that Cameron is easily a much better director than he is a writer, as the story here was not up to snuff. But for once, that truly was nearly inconsequential. I think it's painfully ironic that this was the year, of all years, that the Academy opted to expand to 10 nominees in this category. I mean, this is the freakin' year where they may as well have had only ONE nominee. For me, it's Avatar, and then everyone else. The blood, sweat, and tears that must have gone into this film couldn't possibly be comparable to what it took to produce An Education or The Blind Side. People completely overlook how difficult the acting tasks must have been...playing against blank screens, having to get accustomed to the technology being used, and even learning an entirely new language! I just don't get how anyone else is even in this conversation.

WILL WIN: Avatar - Again, many people believe The Hurt Locker is now the film to beat. I'm thinking that babies and kittens will cry if that happens. And we wouldn't want that. I say saner heads will prevail. As an anonymous industry Producer so eloquently put it in an Entertainment Weekly sampling of how four Academy voters voted, "He (Cameron) is such a bastard. He's really a hard guy to root for, and always has been, but what he created with this movie--just the beauty of it--he blew me away." Even THAT chick didn't vote for The Hurt Locker!

I'm still looking forward to seeing more of the nominated films, so there are some holes in my analysis here, but oh well...there are other things besides movies.

Thursday, I'm in Love?

2010-02-19T03:09:00.000-08:00

No people, this post has nothing to do with love, so scrape yourselves back off the ceiling. The title is just a riff on the old song by The Cure. In other news:

Dear Thursday, Why did you suck so? Were you jealous of how much Mondays suck so you decided to up the ante? Were you just trying to make Friday seem THAT much awesomer in comparison? Or were you just mad that you're pretty much the only day that does not have its own identity? (Think about it - Mondays suck, new CD's come out on Tuesdays, Wednesday is Hump Day, Fridays are Fridays, Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting, and God rested on Sunday.) No matter your reasoning, I tell you, your suckfulness was completely unwarranted and unwelcomed. Kind of like that old, fat chick on the beach in the string bikini (my apologies to old, fat chicks). In any case, I am fully expecting Friday to kick your everloving ass.

Love,

Jeremy

P.S. No, my day did not really suck THAT much...it's hyperbole, folks. Would it have been as funny if I started out by saying, "Dear Thursday, Why were you mildly annoying?"

Close the book on McGwire

2010-01-12T09:44:00.001-08:00

OK, I'm just going to write this now to get it out of the way, then hopefully the world can let the subject rest...or at least the 5 people reading this.

Fact: Mark McGwire did steroids
Fact: Mark McGwire broke Roger Maris' single-season HR record while on steroids
Fact: Mark McGwire's admission of and apology for these facts stopped somewhere short of full contrition (OK, this might not technically be a "fact")
Fact: Major League Baseball did not have regulations restricting steroid use while McGwire was juicing

Opinion: Mark McGwire deserves to be in the Hall of Fame
Near Fact: Mark McGwire will not get into the Hall of Fame

There were definitely a couple things that didn't add up about Mark McGwire's steroid confession yesterday. He still claims he only did them to help speed recovery from injuries. Pretty much everyone alive believes that's a load of horsepucky. And it doesn't address why he started taking them in '93, before his body began to break down in a major way. Also, he said that he didn't fess up during the Congressional hearings because they wouldn't grant him immunity. Immunity from what? Has any baseball player named in the Mitchell Report been indicted? Would he really have been subject to criminal prosecution? Sounds a little fishy. That having been said, I believe the emotion that McGwire showed during his interview with Bob Costas was genuine. I believe he's sorry. Now all that's left is to decide what his legacy should be.

If you don't think Mark McGwire belongs in the Hall of Fame, that's fine. As long as your reasoning is that his stats don't warrant it. I can see an argument there. Despite being 8th all-time in home runs, he's only 66th all-time in RBI. Only 191st in runs scored. And as I've argued before, those two categories should be considered the most telling aspect of an offensive player's long-term value - the entire objective of the game being to score runs. His shortcomings in those areas are due to his abbreviated number at bats stemming from constant injury. I still happen to believe that he belongs in the Hall of Fame on the back of being 8th all-time in home runs, and one of the most feared hitters of his time. But if you disagree based on stats alone, I wouldn't put up much of an argument.

If, however, you're going to cite the "character clause" in the voting guidelines for the Hall of Fame, that's where I would have an issue. I don't see where the argument is here. Steroids were not banned from baseball at the time McGwire was using. That's it. Bottom line. End of argument. I don't see why there is a discussion about this. It's baseball's error, not McGwire's. MLB knew full well what was going on; anyone who tells you otherwise is either a fool or a liar. It's just one of the reasons that "Commissioner" Bud Selig is one of the worst things ever to happen to the game. If they had cut this thing off at the head, we wouldn't be having this conversation today, and players like McGwire may or may not have ended up with the numbers they did. But baseball WANTED the home runs; it NEEDED the home runs. So it stood idly by while who knows how many players juiced up. So now we're going to penalize the guys who saw the most successful results from taking steroids? A Hall of Fame without Bonds, Palmeiro, Sosa, Clemens, Rodriguez, Ramirez? If any of these guys used AFTER the drug policy was intact, then the punishment is justified. If not, forget it. It wasn't cheating. No one will nominate these guys for any integrity awards, but it wasn't cheating. It was a level playing field, and everyone had access to the same ALLOWABLE substances. There is simply no way to measure how much of an advantage it gave these players. So in absence of that, there is no way to tell what portion of their stats they earned, and what portion was inflated. Hence, you have to take the numbers at face value.

It is possible that one day, one player who has used PED's will get voted in, and that may open the floodgates for the others. But, as it stands right now, it looks like the Hall will be missing many of the game's purported legendary players. The whole thing is sad. A blight on a great game.

Baseball Hall of Fame

2010-01-04T21:55:00.000-08:00

My apologies for boring the non-baseball fans among you.

The next inductees into the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame will be announced this week. One player whose name will not be called is Harold Baines. I don't know whether Baines deserves to be there or not, but his resume shows that numbers can be deceiving. Baines was still early in his career when I started following baseball, and I dare say the guy wasn't necessarily the most feared hitter in baseball. If you examine his year-by-year stats, they don't look very imposing in hindsight...I was actually surprised they weren't better. However, somehow, when you look at the totals, a slightly different story emerges. Sure, that could be due to how long he played, so let's compare to others with a similar number of lifetime at-bats.

In my mind, the crux of a baseball offense is built around one thing - scoring runs. You can look at all the crazy categories of stats and analyze them until the cows come home, but, at the end of the day, hitters are paid to elevate their teams' scores - either by driving runs in, or by scoring them. So logically, shouldn't RBI and Runs be considered the two most critical categories? Hits, Home Runs, Stolen Bases - those are all critical pieces of the game, but they're just a means to an end - scoring runs. RBI and Runs are the only two categories that illustrate the end result.

So...

RUNS SCORED: Harold Baines - 1,299 - "only" good for 118th-best all-time, but when you consider how many players have stepped on the diamond...not too bad. Other players who scored fewer runs without having more than 600 fewer at-bats than Baines (approx. 1 full season) - Ozzie Smith, Tony Perez, & Brooks Robinson...all in the HOF.

RBI: Harold Baines - 1,628 - Here's where it gets really surprising...that's good for 29th all-time! Out of all the players who have marched through the game of baseball in over 100 years, only 28 of them sent more runners home than Baines; remarkable considering he only had three 100-RBI seasons (oddly enough, the last one at age 40). George Brett, Andre Dawson, Al Kaline, and Tris Speaker all had more at-bats than Baines, but fewer RBI. Only Dawson is not in the HOF, and that may change as of Wednesday, as his name is a lot more likely to be called than Baines'.

HITS: Harold Baines - 2,866 - Still a very important category, for obvious reasons. Here, Baines is 40th all-time. Brooks Robinson, Andre Dawson, Ken Griffey, Jr., Tony Perez - all fewer hits in a similar number of at-bats.

Incidentally, the player over whom everyone seems to be drooling over for this year's induction is Roberto Alomar. Baines' career numbers outdo Alomar's in Hits, HR, RBI, Walks, and Slugging %. Alomar had just over 800 fewer at-bats, but benefits from being compared to other 2B, a historically light-hitting position. Why we compare players by position when analyzing their merits for the HOF, I simply have no clue. The 10 Gold Gloves also help Alomar.

So, what does this all mean? No idea. Just food for thought.

Under the Dome and All Things King

2010-01-02T00:45:00.000-08:00

I just completed reading Stephen King's latest epic novel, the 1,000-page+, Under the Dome. Always a risk, embarking upon a literary undertaking of this magnitude, because if it doesn't live up to expectations, well...you can't get those bazillion hours back. Overall, I would give this one a grade of B, and that might be generous. Stephen King is a one-of-a-kind talent - let's get that straight. The guy was blessed with an imagination, and an uncanny ability to create and manipulate unique and realistic dialogue, like no other human being has been. I am not what you would call a die-hard fan; I haven't read a lot of his earlier and more acclaimed works (The Stand, It, etc.). But I've followed some of his more recent writings, which have been hit and miss (Bag of Bones, Cell, The Green Mile on the "hit" side - Dreamcatcher, From a Buick 8 - utterly unreadable). I'd say that Dome starts out on the road to rivaling anything I've ever read by him, but collapses under its own considerable weight by the last couple hundred pages.

Without giving too much away, Dome is a tale of a small Maine town (as are most of his works) that is spontaneously cut off from the rest of the world by a mysterious, transparent, and seemingly infinite dome-shaped barrier. The phenomenon soon draws the dumbfounded attention of the military, the world news media, and even the President of the U.S. As the days wear on, a Lord of the Flies-like power struggle ensues, and we get a glimpse of how society might rapidly descend into chaos if such an occurrence ever took place. The narrative, character development, and dialogue are all stunning; King again works his unique magic. You definitely come to care about each of the central characters, and actually, many of the supporting ones as well - and there are boatloads of people interwoven into this story. It's surprisingly easy to follow, as King skates just around the edges of fantasy and sci-fi...most of it reads like a straight-forward psychological narrative. It's a page-turner, with the action moving along at a steady pace. King falls shy of including many thunderous "shockers" or "reveals" and instead, elects to let the human relationships drive the readers' interest. This works well...until the last fifth or so of the book. From reading his musings in Entertainment Weekly, I know that Stephen King is a huge fan of the TV show, Lost. At this very moment, all fans of Lost are on pins and needles anticipating the drama's final season. And what we're all nervous about, is that the writers won't be able to wrap everything up in such a way that the crazy sci-fi weavings of seasons past will finally make sense. Similarly, Dome is unable to find its footing in bringing the mythology surrounding the town's unexplained barrier to a head. In fact, I'd say it fails to even coherently establish what that mythology is supposed to represent in the first place. There is one other major thing that bothers me about the "wrap-up," but mentioning it would be too much of a spoiler for those who want to read for themselves. In short, the payoff is really weak. As with films, that is an incredible pet peeve of mine with novels. The sheer fact that the majority of the novel is so strong, is what keeps me from giving it an overall grade of less than a B.

If you've never read King before, most people would probably recommend starting with The Stand. Having never read it, I can't comment. I can, instead, point you in the direction of The Talisman. This 1984 tome, co-written with Peter Straub, is a sci-fi/fantasy mind-fuck of the highest order. To say King takes his readers on an adventure is a gross understatement. I hadn't before, nor have I since, seen an author fabricate a fictitious world with such nuance and finesse. My eyes were glued to every page when I finally discovered this one about six years ago. One of my favorite books by anyone. It may be overdue for a re-read. King and Straub reteamed in 2001 for the sequel, Black House, which understandably falls short of the supreme majesty imposed by its predecessor - but it's a gripping read in its own right.

King's son Joseph, who writes under the pen name, Joe Hill, has one full novel to his credit, Heart-Shaped Box, which is a worthy horror/thriller in its own right.

If you're more of a movie person, be sure to check out The Shawshank Redemption, based on King's short story, Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption. Simply one of the most incredible accomplishments in film history.

Enjoy...

Paul Blart: Al Qaeda Operative?

2009-12-30T00:06:00.000-08:00

The events of the past week aboard a Northwest Airlines flight landing in Detroit have shed light on the shocking speed with which our Homeland Security department springs into action. Far be it from them to be outmaneuvered by some inept Nigerian terrorist - stringent measures were immediately implemented to prevent a more catastrophic event from taking place in our skies.

First, passengers on U.S. flights found that they would not be allowed to hold coats or blankets on their laps for the duration of their trips. This move was based on credible intelligence compiled by our government that substantiates the long-held belief that minutes prior to lighting their shoelaces on fire, nearly every terrorist develops a spontaneous erection. In medical circles, this is known as Abdullah Arousal Syndrome. By preventing passengers from keeping bulky items on their laps, the "warning pointer" as the FAA is referring to it, will be more readily observable, hopefully allowing plane crews to act swiftly in disarming the perpetrators.

Next, air travelers were dismayed to find that they would not be allowed to go to the restroom for the last hour of their flights. In other news: it is suspected that Al Qaeda cells worldwide are currently in a frenzy, desperately trying to rework attack plans that involve assembling bombs an hour and a half before a plane lands. Oh, wait...we're getting word...yes, it's been confirmed by Homeland Security that Al Qaeda has successfully devised a way to assemble bombs an hour and a half before a plane lands. We have a comment from Paul Assnugget, acting chief of Homeland Security, "Dammit!"

And then there is my personal favorite - passengers will not have access to in-flight entertainment during the last hour and a half of their flights. This, after a number of CIA raids of Al Qaeda bases worldwide that uncovered an intricate plot to execute pilots on U.S. bound flights with the aircrafts' DVD copies of Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

Other heightened security measures allegedly being considered:

Placing any individuals named "Ramzi Al-Kaboom" on the no-fly list.

Isolating suspicious looking or acting individuals from the rest of the security checkpoint lines in all airports worldwide and torturing them using repeated 2-hour long loops of the seat belt fastening instructional video used aboard U.S. aircraft.

More crying babies aboard all U.S.-bound and domestic flights. Intelligence reports suggest that Al Qaeda operatives really hate babies and will be forced to disembark the aircraft before take-off.

Posting those little yellow signs in the rear window of all U.S. aircraft, "Bounty Hunter On Board"

On all U.S.-bound and domestic flights, immediately following the seat belt demonstration, a short video will be played featuring David Letterman's "Top 10 Reasons Not to Blow Up This Aircraft."

Waterboarding the shit out of every Homeland Security employee until they come up with better fucking ideas.

It's also rumored that Doritos is sponsoring a contest for which people can submit their own ideas for new security measures. The winning contestant will be selected by none other than Osama Bin Laden himself, and will immediately be appointed new acting chief of Homeland Security. Bin Laden is expected to release a video with further details shortly.

So rest assured ladies and germs, your safety is in good hands. U.S. Homeland Security is on the case. Next week, we will have a special CIA panel assembled to discuss ways we can better broadcast all of our planned military operations across all the worldwide television news feeds.

Happy New Year!

Top 210 Songs of the Decade 30-1

2009-12-27T00:31:00.001-08:00

So it's been a long ten years, yet at the same time, it seems like just yesterday we were stocking up on non-perishable food in preparation for the Y2K disaster. But here we are, a mere 5 midnights away from 2010. And I have just one question...where are those damn flying cars already? Anyway, we've finally made it to the end of my Top 210 Songs of the Decade list. Now children all over the world can finally sleep, the angels can sing, and we can all get back to our daily lives. I hope you've enjoyed reading about artists and songs you've never heard of. Maybe one or two of you (read: everyone reading my blog) have even checked out some of the songs and (gasp!) agreed with my assessment. In any case, here are the lucky 30...the songs that topped off the soundtrack to MY 00's (still haven't figured out how to refer to that darn decade, huh? well, are we entering the 10's or the teens now?). The descriptions here are deservedly a little lengthier than in past entries, so settle in. Here's to another ten years of great music...

30. Def Leppard - Now (only appropriate to begin the last post with my favorite band of all time...this was the awesome first single from their poppier, yet under appreciated album, X)
29. Shinedown - Burning Bright (Shinedown has actually gained more commercial relevance with their successive two albums, but in line with my typical nature of going against the grain, I think it's their debut CD, Leave a Whisper, that remains their best...this song is actually only the SECOND-highest from them on my list)
28. Jason Wade - You Belong to Me (if anyone mentions Taylor Swift, I will heave - this is a different song from the 1950's that has been covered by many artists over the years...here, the amazing Jason Wade from the band, Lifehouse, gives his lilting take for the Shrek soundtrack)
27. Gas Giants - I Hope My Kids Like Marilyn Manson (Robin Wilson of Gin Blossoms fame has tongue firmly planted in cheek for this ode to anyone who anyone who does it their own damn way...due to record label hell, the Giants' one-off CD, From Beyond the Backburner was relegated to being a weakly supported indie release, but remains one of the great overlooked gems of the decade)
26. Tyrone Wells - More (may have mentioned it before but it's worth repeating - discovered this incredible singer-songwriter accidentally at the 2009 South by Southwest Music Festival...if you haven't listened to his album Remain, go do it)
25. Glen Phillips - Courage (first saw the Toad the Wet Sprocket frontman do this one acoustic at a Toad show, long before he released his little-known but classic album, Winter Pays for Summer, on which the recorded version first appeared - to say this guy knows his way around a melody is an understatement...still, not his last appearance on my list)
24. Disturbed - Land of Confusion (not easy to remake what was a top 5 hit and breathe new life into it, but Disturbed rock their faces off, transforming the 80's Genesis hit, and almost making me forget about that creepy Ronald Reagan puppet/cartoon figure from the old video)
23. Theory of a Deadman - Better Off (as with their modern rock comrades, Shinedown, my album preference doesn't coincide with ToaD's commercial success...I think 2005's Gasoline was a solid rocker, this single being the best of the bunch)
22. Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone (I was late jumping on the Kelly bandwagon, and it was this in your face kiss-off that grabbed my attention when she did it a cappella on VH1...I instantly realized that despite my shunning of all things Idol, this girl had TALENT...and certain other admirable attributes, which we won't get into here)
21. Daughtry - What About Now (speaking of Idol, how ironic that another alum has become one of my favorite rock acts - this one is a classic)

20. David Cook - Light On - (Idol, we must stop meeting like this...Soundgarden's/Audioslave's Chris Cornell co-wrote this rock ballad and Cook sings the crap out of it - I unfortunately wasn't as impressed with the rest of Cook's debut CD, but this one will be on repeat for years to come)
19. Shinedown - Fly From the Inside (their first ever single, and in my opinion, still their best - crank it up in the car)
18. Phil Collins - Can't Stop Loving You (Collins long ago left his chart domination behind, but he continued to have bursts of success with soundtrack contributions and this adult contemporary hit, which I didn't know until just now, was a British top 10 score for Leo Sayer in the 70's - Collins' best since the late 80's/early 90's)
17. Aimee Mann - Wise Up (I had already been a big fan of the Til Tuesday singer's solo work when she was tabbed to provide the musical backbone to the 1999 flick Magnolia - possibly my favorite movie of that decade - and although many found it to be goofy and sappy, one of the most emotionally gripping scenes in the film was a montage of several characters singing passages from this jolting ballad...the lyrics are simple but pack a punch, and made this the best use of a song I've ever seen on screen)
16. Nada Surf - Always Love (some will remember this band's quirky 90's hit "Popular" - along with this one, still the only two songs of theirs I know, but they score some major pop/rock cred in my book with this one...check it out)
15. Default - Count On Me (Nickelback's Chad Kroeger discovered this Canadian band and they scored a modern rock hit in 2002 with "Wasting My Time" - that was pretty much the end of their success in the States, but this Kroeger-penned track blows away anything else I've heard from them...or Nickelback, for that matter)
14. Will Owsley - Upside Down (a seeming pop/rock genius who unfortunately has left a scarcity of original material for us to enjoy - he released this track as a double-sided single with another song on my list, "Psycho" in an exclusive deal with iTunes, and promptly dropped off the face of the Earth)
13. Helloween - If I Could Fly (I had heard of these guys back in the heyday of hair metal, but I didn't truly "discover" them until many years later, after this 2000 barrage of rock bombast had already been released...an acquired taste indeed, but the piano riff and guitar crunch seal the deal for me...a classic highway rocker)
12. Semisonic - Chemistry (I saw these guys open for Sheryl Crow sometime in the 90's, and as good as Crow was, they upstaged her - Dan Wilson is, as I mentioned before, with few equals in pop/rock songwriting...this one presents a fun analogy between exploits in the laboratory and exploits in relationships - "...and we found out that the two things we put together had a bad tendency to explode." Indeed.)
11. Angie Aparo - Spaceship (the first single that was intended to catapult this Atlanta singer-songwriter to stardom...video on VH1, touring with Matchbox Twenty...alas stardom was not to come and he had to "settle" for Faith Hill's aforementioned hit cover of the song "Cry," also off his 2000 album The American. Yet STILL not his top mention on my list)

THE TOP TEN
10. Glen Phillips - True (a collaboration with the earlier exalted Dan Wilson...doesn't get better than this)
9. Mike Garrigan - Another Day in Paradise (so hard to choose one favorite from Garrigan, one of the best singer-songwriters of the past two decades...ask me again in ten years, and I may pick a different song of his)
8. Live - Run to the Water (the Pennsylvania rockers have inexplicably had true chart success evade them since the early/mid-90's...don't let their 1999 album The Distance to Here go overlooked though...this single from that collection stomped onto my personal playlist when it was released in the early days of this decade...when you're done, go listen to every album they've put out since then - there are three, and they're all great)
7. Papa Roach - Last Resort (easily the most commercially accessible song in my Top Ten...modern rock perfection)
6. Revis - Caught in the Rain (discovered this first single via a baseball computer game...as I mentioned before, after releasing what I considered to be a classic first album, these guys disbanded - this one shakes you like thunder from your stereo)
5. Joey Tempest - Forgiven (the Europe frontman escapes his hair band days by crafting what can only be described as a perfect pop/rock album, his solo work more in the singer/songwriter vein - makes you forget that this guy ever stood on a table and shouted ROCK THE NIGHT in a cheesy 80's video...his 2002 album, Joey Tempest, is available used for $9 on Amazon - or you can just ask me for a copy)
4. Collapsis - October (my introduction to Mike Garrigan, and I haven't looked back since...contains the best use of the word "couscous" in any song to date...but seriously folks, go to mikegarrigan.com or look up his solo stuff and this band on iTunes...do it)
3. Bad Religion - New America (admittedly not a HUGE fan of this legendary punk band, but I have to say, when they get it right, they get it right...this one is a clarion call through the megaphone of rock music to all Americans that we can't rest on our laurels if we want to achieve true happiness and peace - so many resonant lyrical passages here, but perhaps one of the most telling is, "You can live in staunch denial and mark me as your enemy. But I'm just a voice among the throng who want a brighter destiny." Amazing this was written ten years ago, huh?
2. Nina Gordon - Tonight and the Rest of My Life (what's truly amazing about this song, is that it actually made it onto pop radio and STILL didn't become a smash hit...I mean, what does a singer/songwriter have to do? If it were possible to paint a dream and then sing the painting, this reverie-like melody would almost surely be the result. I got a jolt when Gordon, the seething 90's rocker chick, transformed herself overnight into a Sarah McLachlan-come-lately...especially because she out McLachlan-ed McLachlan in every way. All I can say is, please come back Nina. I want more.

NUMBER ONE
When I started the arduous task of compiling this list in 2006, I honestly had no idea what my number one song would be - or even if it had been released yet. It had. After sifting through all the music of the 6+ years previous, it came as little surprise to me that my favorite currently-working singer-songwriter came out on top. What was somewhat surprising, and what gave me pause, is that my number one was not an original song. Was it right for a cover song to top my chart? Well, being that nobody besides me was ever intended to see this, I didn't give it much further thought, and no song since has given me reason to change this ranking.

Angie Aparo - Champagne Supernova (As I stated before, it takes a certain talent to take a song that was previously a huge hit by another artist and transform it in a way that makes it fresh, improves upon the original, keeps it relevant, etc. Since Aparo's take on Elton John's "Rocket Man" had previously blown me away, I assumed that was the best it could get. Then he released his full album of mostly covers, One With the Sun, and included this Oasis track. To call it mesmerizing would be a gross understatement. As much as I loved the original, this one made me completely forget that the song existed before Aparo. That's an achievement in remaking others' works that can be reached by few. Sadly, for me, Aparo, after his next original album, 2003's For Stars and Moon, largely dropped off the recording scene. I was lucky enough, though, to catch him live one more time in San Francisco a couple years ago, and that performance only reaffirmed his place in my personal music stack as the true #1. Again, for those in the Southeast, or NY areas, where he most frequently performs, keep your eyes out. An Aparo show is something you don't want to miss. Until then, you can find the covers album along with his 2000 classic, The American, on iTunes, and the aforementioned For Stars and Moon used on Amazon. For his amazing independent debut, Out of the Everywhere, along with a boatload of unreleased tracks, you'll have to snag a burned disc from me. All could not be recommended highly enough.

Thanks for reading, and hopefully listening. Happy New Year and an amazing 2010 to everyone.

Top 210 Songs of the Decade 60-31

2009-12-20T20:20:00.000-08:00

We're getting ever so close...I know you're all excited!

60. Pete Yorn - Strange Condition (singer-songwriter...released this great song, then kind of lost me after that)
59. Bad Religion - Broken (punk rock)
58. Avril Lavigne - Naked (this is one instance where I broke my rule that I would only include songs that were released as commercial singles if they were by an artist whose songs were played on radio...this was the best song on Avril's debut CD, and best she's done since)
57. Maroon 5 - Won't Go Home Without You
56. Jonathan Kingham - Grace (only know this guy from seeing him open for Glen Phillips...great song, but according to my sister, who bought his CD at the show, the rest of it is crap)
55. Anna Nalick - Shine (this singer-songwriter inexplicably dropped off the face of the Earth after this song was released as the first single off her upcoming album...it's still "upcoming" after 2 years - probably record label red tape? Anyway, really talented at mixing great lyrics with catchy hooks - plus, she's smokin')
54. Alkaline Trio - Mercy Me (accidentally stumbled across this rock gem just this year, even though it came out 4 years ago)
53. Weezer - Pork & Beans
52. Unbroken (Hotel Baby) - Monster Magnet (I don't even know how to describe Monster Magnet...they have a few great songs...check out Negasonic Teenage Warhead or Powertrip from the 90's)
51. Poison - I Never Cry (a remake of an Alice Cooper song I had never heard of...awesome)
50. Augustana - Sweet and Low (one of the standout tracks off of my favorite album of last year)
49. +44 - When Your Heart Stops Beating (one of two bands to rise from the ashes of the previously broken up Blink-182 (the other being Angels and Airwaves) - this album was great...wasn't so crazy about A&A...now Blink is back together, so I guess that's it from these guys)
48. Leona Lewis - Run (how Bleeding Love and Better in Time were huge hits and this Snow Patrol cover wasn't even originally included on her debut CD is beyond me...as is the fact that this didn't make it on radio - the only song that appears on my list by two different artists)
47. A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover (I could probably make an argument (with myself?) for this to be as high as the Top 10...a lesson in perfect pop balladry)
46. The Alternate Routes - Time is a Runaway (an overlooked pop/folk-rock band...their 2007 debut CD was awesome, the follow-up - not so much)
45. Suzie McNeil - Hung Up (one of the "losers" from Rock Star: INXS, but easily the most talented singer of that bunch - somehow couldn't parlay the TV exposure to success in the States - you wouldn't even know her debut CD was released anywhere but Canada...sang her ass off on her first CD - the follow-up didn't impress me much)
44. Natalie Imbruglia - Beauty on the Fire (her 2005 CD, White Lillies Island was a pop masterpiece - one of the best of the decade in my opinion - plus, she is one of the most beautiful humans ever to walk)
43. Nina Gordon - Kiss Me 'Til It Bleeds
42. Jesse Cook w/ Danny Wilde - Fall at Your Feet (world renowned spanish guitar virtuoso accompanied by lead singer of The Rembrandts on vocals on a remake of a Crowded House song...how can you go wrong?)
41. Angie Aparo - Cry (otherwise known as "the Faith Hill song" even though Aparo wrote it...as he explained in concert, his ex-wife is enjoying the royalties from this one)
40. U2 - The Hands that Built America (I'm probably one of the only people on the planet who would count this classic from Martin Scorsese's Gangs of New York as U2's best song of the decade...but I do)
39. Collapsis - Wonderland
38. Mike Garrigan - See You Tonight
37. Lifehouse - Spin
36. Coldplay - Fix You (why does every "Best of" list on Earth count "Clocks" and "The Scientist" as this groups top songs? This one far surpasses any other song they've done in my opinion)
35. Natalie Imbruglia - Wrong Impression (the best from the Aussie princess)
34. Dan Wilson - Breathless (if you haven't listened to Free Life by the ex-Semisonic singer, and you want to know what perfect pop songwriting sounds like, then give it a whirl)
33. Our Lady Peace - Is Anybody Home
32. Glen Phillips - Sleep of the Blessed
31. Fountains of Wayne - Mexican Wine (ah...the fickle nature of the music-listening public - Stacy's Mom goes berzerk and then the band returns to virtual obscurity with this next (and light years better) single)

Avatar

2009-12-19T02:46:00.001-08:00

So, no sooner did I write a status update on Facebook lamenting how wary I've become about movie reviews, than the film critics decide to get one exactly right. From the varying write-ups I read on James Cameron's long-awaited Avatar, the descriptions and evaluations of the film were mostly spot on. The long and short of it is - the visual nature of the movie is mind-boggling, the script is somewhat of an afterthought.

To say that Avatar is visually stunning would be the understatement of the decade. Being that the decade is over in two weeks, that's saying something. If you are going to see this movie, you absolutely MUST see it in IMAX 3D. I don't know what the regular 3D looks like, but I'm telling you - don't bother unless it's IMAX 3D. This was the first film I'd ever seen in IMAX, and I think my jaw practically hit the soda-stained floor upon the very first scenes. One reviewer, I forget which one, nailed it when he said that somewhere, Brett Ratner, Michael Bay, Roland Emmerich and the rest of the Hollywood action flick elite are peeing their pants because James Cameron just raised the bar for special effects through the roof. Everything - the colors, the creatures, the landscapes - simply mystifying. For that alone, all of the technical crew associated with the film should win every Oscar available. They should probably create new technical Oscars just for Avatar. The one award category in which it will not collect accolades is screenwriting. That's not to say the writing was terrible; it wasn't. The story was just completely overshadowed by the physical beauty of the film. The mythology, the character development, the dramatic turns in the story - they don't suck you in like Star Wars did 30+ years ago. It's not even up for debate as to whether Colonel Miles Quaritch will take a place in film history alongside Darth Vader, or if Jake Sully is this generation's Luke Skywalker. These characters will never pierce pop culture like George Lucas' did. The last quarter of the film was rather silly, actually. And again, that's exactly what was mentioned in some of the reviews.

So is it worth the $15 or whatever it costs near you to see an IMAX 3D film? I'd say yes. It's an experience. And once the movie is out of theaters, the opportunity to have that experience will be gone forever. There's no way watching this one on HBO would even come close to measuring up. I usually laugh when people say they want to go see a film just for the special effects. This is one time when I'm not laughing at that notion.

Top 210 Songs of the Decade 90-61

2009-12-14T12:50:00.000-08:00

90. The Season - Where You Are (don't know anything about this band, other than the fact that this song popped up on the free downloads section of the iLike sidebar that is connected to my iTunes...and it's good)
89. Seether - Rise Above This (a great modern rock song from the past couple years)
88. Vertical Horizon - I'm Still Here
87. Juliana Hatfield - Cry in the Dark (a very overlooked singer-songwriter)
86. Jude Cole - Raining on the Moon (see comments at #132)
85. Helloween - We Damn the Night
84. Disturbed - Inside the Fire (modern rock)
83. Live - Sweet Release
82. The Damnwells - I Am a Leaver (favorite song from this Brooklyn band)
81. Sugar Ray - Answer the Phone (not one of their bigger hits, but in my opinion, the best single they've released)
80. Staind - Outside (modern rock)
79. Disturbed - Liberate
78. The Smithereens - She's Got a Way (this band's best work was done in the 80's and 90's, with this one exception)
77. Snow Patrol - Spitting Games
76. Def Leppard - Four Letter Word
75. Marilyn Manson - Personal Jesus (great remake of the Depeche Mode hit)
74. Icehouse - Lay Your Hands on Me (one of my favorite 80's bands who unfortunately has not released an album of original material in quite a long time - but this was the one new track on their remix CD from a few years ago...please come back, Icehouse!)
73. Theory of a Deadman - Since You've Been Gone (modern rock)
72. Lifehouse - Breathing
71. On - Slingshot
70. Dokken - Sunless Days
69. Pat Monahan - Her Eyes (amazing pop tune from the lead singer of Train - just saw them live for the first time, and dang that boy can sayyng!)
68. The Donnas - Take It Off (for some odd reason, I remember exactly where I was when I first heard this song - I was in the car pulling into the parking lot of Palace Station Casino during one of my pre-move Las Vegas trips...I remember thinking wow, who is this...they rock)
67. Angie Aparo - Rocket Man (again, one of my favorite singer-songwriters ever...completely transforms this Elton John classic...incredibly, it's not the best remake he's ever done...stay tuned for that entry later on down the list)
66. Owsley - Rise
65. Gin Blossoms - Learning the Hard Way (I often continue to follow artists long after their commercial success has burned out...and that's why I get to enjoy gems like this pop/rock should-have-been classic)
64. The Exies - Ugly (this was a pretty big modern rock hit, but I still think this band has been largely overlooked)
63. Johnny Cash - Hurt (in one of the most blatant departures from my typical taste in music, I had to include this Cash cover of the Nine Inch Nails hit - funny, since I don't like either Johnny Cash OR Nine Inch Nails very much...this one just worked...and even Rolling Stone agreed with me on this one!)
62. Kelly Clarkson - Behind Those Hazel Eyes (I've slid slightly off the Kelly bandwagon with the last two albums, but her first two had some awesome pop songs...this being one of them. I still hold out hope that she may be my future wife.)
61. Marilyn Manson - The Fight Song (just as a side note, the Manson tune, "Coma White" may very well have made my Top 20, if not for the fact that they never released it as a single...so this is my top entry from Brian Warner and co.)

Stay tuned...

Top 210 Songs of the Decade 120-91

2009-12-07T13:28:00.000-08:00

Bored yet?

120. Cold - Suffocate (modern rock)
119. Collapsis - Radio Friendly Girlfriend (lead singer, Mike Garrigan appears on this list solo as well)
118. Collective Soul - How Do You Love
117. Nina Gordon - Now I Can Die
116. Black Lab - Without You (modern rock)
115. Glen Phillips - Always Returning (co-written with The Rembrandts' Danny Wilde)
114. Guster - Amsterdam (guitar pop band from Boston)
113. Gin Blossoms - Long Time Gone
112. The Offspring - Can't Repeat
111. Live - OVercome
110. 3 Doors Down - Let Me Go
109. Mike Garrigan - Sigourney Weaver
108. Guster - Satellite
107. Mika - Erase (standout track from flamboyant, broadway-esque, pop singer)
106. Halestorm - I Get Off (rock chick, Lzzy Hale's amazing vocals drive this modern rock band)
105. Better Than Ezra - Absolutely Still (Better Than Ezra hit #1 on the college charts this week - at #2...Ezra - har har har)
104. Bon Jovi - (You Want to) Make a Memory
103. Guster - One Man Wrecking Machine
102. Saliva - Survival of the Sickest
101. Gin Blossoms - Someday Soon
100. Collective Soul - Counting the Days
99. Vertical Horizon - When You Cry
98. Def Leppard - Long, Long Way to Go
97. Snow Patrol - Run
96. Alanis Morissette - Underneath
95. Candlebox - Stand (great comeback single from 90's modern rock band)
94. Tyrone Wells - In Between the Lines (pop/rock singer-songwriter with an amazing voice - check out his album, Remain)
93. Mark Kano - Walking on Broadway (lead singer of Athenaeum, sometimes singing partner of Mike Garrigan)
92. The Damnwells - 55 Pictures
91. Ken Andrews - Up or Down (lead singer of 90's modern rock band, Failure, and current bands On, and Year of the Rabbit - musical offspring of Beck and Weezer?)

Top 210 Songs of the Decade 150-121

2009-12-03T22:25:00.001-08:00

Was in NY for a week, so this section of the list is a little late. The next one will follow on Sunday as scheduled. Check out the song clips (over there ----->) to sample exactly what my crazy taste in music is like.

150. Hinder - Get Stoned (Lips of an Angel was their big, sappy radio hit, but this rocker is 100 times better)
149. Theory of a Deadman - Invisible Man (modern rock)
148. Helloween - I Live For Your Pain (the 80's hair band that never broke through)
147. Fuel - Hemorrhage (In My Hands)
146. Glen Phillips - Thankful (lowest of 5 on my list from the Toad the Wet Sprocket frontman)
145. Gas Giants - Quitter (half of the Gin Blossoms in a side project during GB's hiatus)
144. Athenaeum - Comfort (the band that should have been huge in the late 90's but weren't)
143. Lifehouse - Blind
142. U2 - Walk On
141. Owsley - Be With You
140. Staind - For You (one of the best from Staind - a rocker amongst mostly syrupy radio ballad hits)
139. Collapsis - Automatic (one of the best singer-songwriters out there, Mike Garrigan, fronts this late 90's/early 00's band and lands all over my countdown)
138. Evan & Jaron - Crazy For This Girl (come on, you remember this one)
137. Skillet - Say Goodbye (great ballad from a Christian rock band)
136. Live - Mystery (the lowest of 5 from one of the most underappreciated rock bands of the past two decades)
135. Roland Orzabal - Dandelion (lead singer of Tears for Fears - little known solo album had some great songs)
134. The Bangles - Something That You Said (yes, they made music in the 00's)
133. The Veronicas - When It All Falls Apart
132. Jude Cole - Inhale (great singer-songwriter, now best known for helping launch the career of the band, Lifehouse)
131. Live - The River
130. Mike Garrigan - She Alone
129. Disturbed - Stricken (modern rock)
128. Revis - Seven (the modern rock band that should have been huge, but instead broke up)
127. Kip Winger - Where Will You Go (no laughing)
126. Evanescence - Call Me When I'm Sober
125. Rev Theory - Hell Yeah (great modern rock band)
124. Foo Fighters - Long Road to Ruin
123. Dan Wilson - I Can't Hold You (amazing singer-songwriter, former lead singer of Semisonic (remember "Closing Time"?))
122. Keane - Crystal Ball
121. The Living Things - Let it Rain (one of the few songs on the chart from 2009)

Stay tuned for more on Sunday...

Top 210 Songs of the Decade 180-151

2009-11-22T14:40:00.000-08:00

OK, time for the next 30 songs on my Top 210 countdown. There are actually 11 songs here that got some measure of airplay, and some other names that might be recognizable to people other than me. For some of the more obscure ones, I added some info.

180. Liz Phair - Extraordinary
179. Better Than Ezra - Lifetime
178. The Donnas - Who Invited You
177. Suzie McNeil - Believe (contestant on Rock Star: INXS)
176. Iron Maiden - The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg (80's hard rock)
175. The Damnwells - Accidental Man (modern rock band from Brooklyn, NY)
174. Gamma Ray - Lake of Tears (offshoot of 80's hard rock band, Helloween)
173. Papa Roach - Getting Away With Murder
172. Seventh Day Slumber - Caroline (Christian rock band)
171. Avril Lavigne - Runaway
170. Fountains of Wayne - Someone to Love
169. Iron Maiden - The Wicker Man (80's hard rock)
168. Stryper - Rain (80's Christian hard rock)
167. Lapdog - See You Again (offshoot of Toad the Wet Sprocket)
166. Vertical Horizon - Forever
165. Boston - You Gave Up on Love
164. Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American (modern rock)
163. The Exies - My Goddess (modern rock)
162. Avril Lavigne - Sk8r Boi
161. Train - Cab
160. Alice Cooper - Triggerman
159. Trust Company - Stronger (modern rock)
158. Puddle of Mudd - Psycho
157. Seventh Day Slumber - Caroline (Christian rock band)
156. On - Revolution (one of several bands fronted by Ken Andrews, who appears solo later on..like a cross between Beck and Weezer)
155. The Nadas - Life Becomes Me (modern folky rock)
154. Stryper - Make You Mine (80's Christian hard rock)
153. Pet Shop Boys - Minimal
152. Josh Groban - You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)
151. Will Owsley - Psycho (not the same song as Puddle of Mudd - great pop/rock singer who hasn't released too much, but has played with Amy Grant and Shania Twain)

More to come next week...

Top 210 Songs of the Decade

2009-11-15T14:55:00.000-08:00

Well, it's that time again folks....when everyone makes their lists of top crap of the decade. OK, well maybe not everyone. And yeah, there is that stuff about the decade actually starting with '01, but screw that. Here, in this post, is the tail end of my 210 songs of the 00's. Why 210? For starters, this is an amount that sufficiently illustrates what a gigantic nerd I am. Secondly, there are 7 Sundays remaining in the 00's, and 210 is evenly divisible by 7 (wow, he knows music AND math). So, starting now, I will post 30 songs each week until this exercise in torturing your eyes and your minds is finally over. When it's all done, you will have learned absolutely nothing, except that I have incredibly weird, random, and sometimes obscure taste in music. And likely, how little you care.

A few notes about my "countdown." First, it's awesome. I don't care what other Top of the Decade lists are out there...mine is the best. Secondly, I pretty much stuck to songs that were commercially released as singles to radio or appeared on film or TV. Because of my obscure tastes, some of my favorite artists don't technically release singles, so I just chose the songs I wanted...because I can do that. I made a few exceptions and included songs that were not singles even if the act released singles...because I can do that too. Also, I'm refraining from commenting on the songs...it's just a list...otherwise we'd be here forever.

Number of songs from this year that appear on the list: 6.
Act with the most entries on the list: Live and Glen Phillips (tie), 5 each.
Artist with most overall appearances on the list: Mike Garrigan (4 solo, 4 as singer of Collapsis, 1 as member of Athenaeum).
Number of cover songs on the list: 9.
Only song that appears as both an original and a cover: "Run" by Snow Patrol (original) and Leona Lewis (cover).
Number of entries from American Idol contestants: 5.

I'm sure I could come up with more stats, but I'm tired. So here we go. #210-#181...

210. Iron Maiden - Different World
209. Phil Wickham - Grace
208. Marjorie Fair - Empty Room
207. The Tories - Time For You
206. Linkin Park - In the End
205. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication
204. Soul Asylum - Stand Up and Be Strong
203. Avril Lavigne - Don't Tell Me
202. Crowded House - Don't Stop Now
201. Cold - Stupid Girl
200. Snow Patrol - Hands Open
199. The Veronicas - Everything I'm Not
198. Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved
197. Josh Rouse - Directions
196. Enuff Z'Nuff - Sanibel Island
195. Eve 6 - Here's to the Night
194. Suzie McNeil - Broken & Beautiful
193. Trust Company - Downfall
192. Midnight Oil - Say Your Prayers
191. Fountains of Wayne - Maureen
190. Better Than Ezra - Our Last Night
189. I Nine - Seven Days of Lonely
188. Daughtry - Home
187. Edwin McCain - The Kiss
186. Seether - The Gift
185. Curt Kirkwood - Beautiful Weapon
184. The Offspring - Can't Get My Head Around You
183. Death Cab for Cutie - Soul Meets Body
182. Dishwalla - Above the Wreckage
181. Fountains of Wayne - Stacy's Mom

Stay tuned for more next week...I know you're excited.

Movies of the Decade

2009-10-28T22:32:00.001-07:00

The title of this post is pretty self-explanatory. Here, I will list my Top 20 favorite films of the 2000's (my apologies to the ones that have not yet been released this year...tough break). Just some notes - the absolute worst year for movies this decade was the first one, 2000. Best film that year was Meet the Parents, but that doesn't quite make it into the Top 20. 2003 wasn't much better...can't even decide my favorite for that year (not in a good way). The two best years...2006 far and away had the strongest Top 5 films - the only year in which the Top 5 all made it into the master list, including my overall #1...and 2007, which far and away had the greatest output of above-average movies in theaters, but they were all more evenly matched with one another than those of '06. So, here's the Top 20:

20. The Class - One of two foreign films on my list. Normally, the subtitle thing annoys me, and I wouldn't consider myself the most cultured person, but this was a really compelling (and true) faux-documentary about the trials and tribulations of students at an inner-city Paris school, and one teacher's methods of dealing with them.

19. Last King of Scotland - The lowest in my Top 5 of the great year of 2006, but still shows off amazing performances by both Forest Whitaker as the ruthless dictator, Idi Amin, and James McAvoy as Amin's personal physician.

18. The Invention of Lying - The most recent movie on this list. Just saw it a couple days ago. It could have been even better and funnier than it was, but the originality of the script by Ricky Gervais still pushes this into my Top 20 of the decade. The devoutly religious among us likely will not appreciate the overtly atheistic undertones of the story, but it's satire, folks.

17. Tropic Thunder - An outrageous performance by Robert Downey, Jr., and a hilarious cameo by Tom Cruise are the highlights of this film within a film. Downey playing a white guy playing a black guy. Enough said.

16. The Dark Knight - No, I wasn't really all that blown away by Heath Ledger, and didn't buy into the hype. Plus, the ending didn't satisfy me so much. But still, the non-stop action and tight performances from Christian Bale and Morgan Freeman, made it my third favorite from last year.

14 (tie). The Sea Inside/I Am Sam - Every "best of" list worth its salt contains at least two ties. So here is the first of two on my list. These films have something in common - they were elevated by phenomenal individual acting performances. Without Javier Bardem's turn as a quadriplegic who fights for his right to die, this movie, the second foreign film on my list, may not have been all that. I Am Sam was a cheesey, and sometimes cliche-ridden film, but the out-of-this-world performance by Dakota Fanning, given she was 6 YEARS OLD when they shot this, might be the most incredible display of acting of the decade. The fact that she was not even nominated for a Golden Globe or an Oscar is unforgivable. This girl WILL win the big prize one day.

13. One-Hour Photo - Robin Williams is one of the most versatile actors of our generation. Unfortunately, he's wasted precious time on schlock like Flubber, Toys, and Patch Adams. However, it seems like at least once a decade he takes a role and nails it to the wall. Good Morning Vietnam in the 80's, Awakenings in the 90's, and his turn here as a maniacal photo lab employee is his good deed for the 00's. Maybe now that we're almost in the 10's, it won't be that much longer until he wins his next Oscar.

12. The Kingdom - A team of FBI agents travel to Saudi Arabia to avenge and solve the murder of their friend and colleague in a terrorist bombing...blah blah blah. I can't really do this one justice by describing the plot in two sentences. Amazing cast, great action, and what I always love...a movie that knows how to end appropriately. Unfortunately, the whole war in the Middle East thing hasn't had much luck at the box office, but this one is most definitely worth a rental.

11. Blood Diamond - This film has the distinction of being the only one on this list that I was never intending on seeing. Leonardo DiCaprio? An expose on the corruption surrounding the diamond trade? Wasn't really interested. A friend and I just happened to make an unplanned trip to the theater, and this just happened to be the next movie playing. Good move. A stunning and emotional script, great visual backdrop, and a gut-wrenching performance by Djimon Hounsou. Most people thought it was an upset because Alan Arkin beat out Eddie Murphy for Best Supporting Actor at the 2007 Oscars, but the real upset was Hounsou losing.

10. Deja Vu (Sorry I don't know how to make those little accent thingies) - This movie came and went, and shockingly, I had never even HEARD OF IT, much less seen it. I'm usually in the know about even the most obscure films, so when I stumbled across this gem on cable, I was surprised, quite pleasantly. Director Tony Scott and Denzel Washington have teamed up several times, but never with better results than this sci-fi/government thriller. Now things always get a little hairy when you deal with time travel, but they put a new twist on it here, and it works brilliantly. Val Kilmer hasn't exactly racked up the amazing films throughout his career, but oddly enough, this is not his last appearance on my list...

9. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang - ...that honor goes to this grossly overlooked film. Shane Black may have gotten $4 million for writing the awful Geena Davis vehicle, The Long Kiss Goodnight, but this is clearly his masterpiece. A sharp, witty script, pairing the top-notch performances of Kilmer and Robert Downey, Jr., in a film that's part comedy, part crime story. Original, entertaining, and criminally under-distributed - making barely over $4 million at the box office. On principle, Shane Black should have been forced to turn over the dough he made from The Long Kiss Goodnight, just so this vastly superior film could have doubled its rake.

8. Doubt - I snuck into this one (shhhhh), so I can't say it was worth my money, but the theater did charge me full price for what should have been a matinee ticket, so we'll call it a wash. Stunningly, this film only won 1 out of 15 awards for which it was nominated amongst the Oscars, Golden Globes and SAG Awards (Meryl Streep got the SAG for Lead Actress). This is one of Philip Seymour Hoffman's strongest performances, and that is saying something, considering he may be the younger generation's DeNiro. Watching him and Streep go at it for two hours is worth the price of...er...well, you know what I mean.

7. Talk to Me - If Philip Seymour Hoffman is the younger generation's DeNiro, Don Cheadle may be a very close second. If only he could score more leading roles. The first half of this film had me on the way to thinking that it might just end up in my Top 3 of the decade. Cheadle comes out with six guns blazing as the outrageous ex-con turned DJ, Petey Greene. Chiwetel Ejiofor does a great job as the straight man as well. But somewhere in the middle of the story, it morphs from a historical comedy into a sappy social commentary and a depressing look at Greene's fall from grace. The shift isn't anywhere near dramatic enough to ruin the experience, but it does prevent Talk to Me from charting higher on my list.

6. Waitress - Every good list has to feature at least one guilty pleasure, so here's mine. Felicity's Keri Russell stars as a small-town waitress stuck in an unhappy marriage and a going nowhere life, who is, naturally, dreaming of bigger things. A "chick flick" at first glance, but it's really a lot more than that. It's funny, charming, and emotionally gratifying. The standout performance here is from Jeremy Sisto (also great in the prematurely canceled 2006 TV series, Kidnapped) as the waitress' abusive husband. TV icon, Andy Griffith also adds great spirit to the ensemble. I really thought this film would ride the sympathy card to the Oscars, as Adrienne Shelley, who wrote, directed, and co-starred was senselessly murdered in her apartment before its release. I highly doubt making my list is any consolation, but I guess it's better than nothing. Just try watching this one without singing the "Gonna Bake a Pie" song repeatedly when it's over. The only bad thing about this film is, it was so good, that I was inclined to give Russell another go-round by seeing the abysmal August Rush.

5. The Wackness - Sir Ben Kingsley as a dope-smoking shrink. Sir Ben Kingsley having a love scene with Mary-Kate Olsen. Sir Ben Kingsley being nominated for a Razzie (the anti-Oscars) for Worst Supporting Actor. Sounds great so far, right? Well, the title is certainly appropriate, as the shrink forms a bizarre friendship with one of his patients (also his pot provider), and various familial dysfunctions abound. For me, as someone who graduated high school in 1992, the performance by Josh Peck as the above-mentioned dealer and soon-to-be college student, is pitch-perfect. He plays the role with equal parts awkward faux-confidence, trying to impress a girl, and true heart, just trying to find his way out of adolescence, into the real world. Not a single false note in this one.

3 (tie). Memento/The Lookout - The proverbial second tie on the list. We're getting into serious cinematic territory here. If you haven't seen these Top 4 films yet, go do it. One of the common threads between these two is, they both do that Tarantino-esque thing where the plot doesn't necessarily have a nice, neat order to it, and you don't always know what's going on. In fact, Memento was renowned for featuring a storyline that actually unfolded BACKWARDS. Guy Pearce and Joe Pantoliano are riveting here, while Christopher Nolan began what would be, for me, and up-and-down writing and directing career, featuring the awesome (this and The Dark Knight), good (Batman Begins), disappointing (Insomnia), and utterly unwatchable (The Prestige). Meanwhile, The Lookout features stars of 3rd Rock From the Sun, Dumb and Dumber, and Pauly Shore's Son-in-Law, plus Borat's fiancee. Recipe for an amazing film? Apparently so. 3rd Rock's Joseph Gordon-Leavitt is spot on as a young man whose life is forever altered by a devastating car accident, which leaves him unable to retain things in his memory for extended amounts of time, forcing him to get through the days with guidance from his own written instructions - yet another commonality with Memento, whose main character is afflicted with similar short-term memory loss. Gordon-Leavitt's character subsequently gets tangled up in a bank robbery plot. No synopsis could do either of these films justice though, so just take my word for it and see them. Unless you have no short-term memory...then there's kind of no point.

2. The Departed - Depending on which year my #1 film would have been eligible in if anyone had considered it for any awards, I'm inclined to say that in 2007, for one of the only times I can think of, the Oscars actually got the Best Picture winner right. Dead on. This one is a tour-de-force...mainly because every "best of" list about film is required to use that term at some point. Everyone involved nails this one to the wall...from Scorsese to Nicholson to Matt Damon to Alec Baldwin to Mark Wahlberg...hell, even Leo again. Drama, thrills, violence, comic relief, amazing script. Everything a classic movie should have is found here. My one gripe was that the last 1/4 of the film goes a little overboard on the violence, gratuitously and just plain silly at some points. However, the payoff of the very final scene pretty much renders the slight misstep forgiven.

1. Hard Candy - Regardless of whether you consider this a 2005 film, which is when it was featured at the Sundance Film Festival, or a 2006 picture, which is when it actually hit movie screens, it was the cinematic achievement of the year...and the decade. A pre-Juno Ellen Page should have won a Lead Actress Oscar, hands down. Patrick Wilson should have won for Supporting Actor. The script should have won. But, the film was largely ignored. Page's performance here as a young teen who is seduced online by a much older man, and subsequently lured to his apartment, is simply off the charts. The dialogue is biting, sarcastic, and funny, but this is no comedy. On the contrary, the drama jumps off the screen at some points, climaxing with one of the most brutally in-your-face endings I can ever remember seeing on film. It's an imperfect ending, in the sense that it doesn't tie everything up in a nice, neat bow. But it's perfectly imperfect. As a moviegoer, my absolute pet peeve is when Hollywood screenwriters don't know how to wrap up a story and end the damn film. It happens probably 80% of the time. So it's only appropriate that my #1 movie of the 2000's sticks the landing with a perfect 10. Just wow.

Some New Holidays

2009-10-12T23:06:00.000-07:00

In honor of the useless and completely misguided celebration of Columbus Day, I've decided to create some new holidays to give us more excuses to take off from work, school or whatever other possible productivity might be getting in the way of our slacking off. I mean, I'm all for extra days off, but they should at least have some meaning.

Mr. Columbus, it turns out, really didn't do jack shit...or as they would have said in 15th century Italy, where he was born..."jackiti shitore" (with the little accent thingy above the e). A few reasons why Columbus Day is a farce:

A) My little Italian brother didn't discover anything. To discover, means to find something previously unseen or unknown. Tell me exactly...how in the Santa Maria can you discover someplace when there are ALREADY FUCKING PEOPLE THERE?
B) He never landed in what we now call the United States. He "discovered" the Caribbean. A milestone achievement if you ask the founders of Carnival Cruise Lines, I'm sure.
C) The dude didn't even know what the fuck he was "discovering." Someone shouted "Land, ho!" and the old Chris-a-nator is like, "Oh cool...Asia!" Yeah masterful orienteering skills there, amico. Legend has it that Columbus died before he could sail to his next door neighbor's kids' snow fort and claim to have discovered Antarctica.
D) Sailor Man was responsible for enslaving and murdering MILLIONS of natives in the areas he explored. Kind of convenient when you're claiming to have discovered a new land to have all the people who already lived there be DEAD. This guy was clearly always thinking ahead.

So we're basically celebrating someone being a disoriented, lying, evil douchebag. Yeah that screams national holiday. So, back to my original thought...here are some new holidays I would like to propose:

National Fart Observance Day - Of course millions of guys nationwide already celebrate this...they call it, "Sunday." But we may as well consecrate the tradition of sitting around watching sports, drinking beer and scratching ourselves while we let out our clarion calls of joy and relief. Plus, if we "observe" the occasion on Monday like we ingeniously do with all holidays, we get a deserved extra day off.

Hootie Day - 90's rock pioneers (in the same sense that Columbus was a pioneer) Hootie and the Blowfish just never got their deserved respect. Las Vegas tried to give them their own lounge area in a casino no one goes to...that didn't work. Now Darius Rucker is resigned to creating shitty country music (sorry for the redundancy) without enjoying the constant companionship of his fellow fish. It's high time we give them their national day. Plus, how great would it be explaining to other countries that we're celebrating Hootie Day.

Fuck the Economy Day - I've been celebrating this one over and over since getting laid off in January. Trust me, it's fun and merriment for all.

Blithering Idiot Day - One marvels that we haven't already created this day of observance considering that the proposed honorees are the clear majority in this country. If we make this an official holiday, I think it would clear up a lot of confusion. This way, the next time someone talks about "nucular weapons" or uses twenty-seven apostrophes in a sentence that only contains eight words or perhaps calls your home for the 1,034th time at 735am on Saturday because he "just" realized that you qualify for his special debt consolidation program, you'll silently understand...they're just observing Blithering Idiot Day.

Pizza Day - I mean come on...you're telling me that FOOD doesn't deserve its own day? Trees have a fucking day. The flag has a day...it's a piece of colored cloth for Pete's sake (come to think of it, maybe there should be a Pete Day). Some fat bearded guy we made up who lives at the North Pole has his own day. You'd think that a country full of slobbering mammoths like we are would dedicate at least one day to some kind of food. I vote for pizza, with sausage. (Update: the National Organization for Tofu is gathering to defeat my proposition as we speak)

These are just a few ideas I came up with. Of course, other suggestions are welcome. I just feel like we haven't created a good holiday out of thin air since Kwanzaa and Earth Day broke through into the national consciousness. Think of all the new retail sales...people bursting through the store doors to buy their kids an Idiot tree. I think Amazon's already marked them down. Better act fast!

Dating Schmating

2009-09-01T00:47:00.000-07:00

You know what I love? The online dating and relationship advice that you can find out there (particularly on MSN). It's quite entertaining. Of course, it's usually a steaming pile of horsepucky, but has comedic value nonetheless. The latest article was an MSN link to something on Oprah.com...some matchmaking "expert" who has a reality show on A&E. Guess what people? There is no such thing as a matchmaking or dating expert. Typically, if you are an expert in something, it means that you have a ton of experience in that area. Well, if you have a lot of experience dating a wide variety of people, I really don't want to follow your advice, because I'm looking to just date ONE person. If you're lucky and you met your soulmate, then that's great, but you're exactly that...LUCKY. There are 7 billion people in the world - 3 hundred million here in the U.S. - you think that you know something the rest of us don't just because you met somebody special? It's like all the financial "experts" you see on cable news shows. Did any of them tell us about the giant shitcloud that was gonna burst all over our economy? No. Have many of them made successful stock picks throughout their careers? Sure. In dating, as with finance, people will dispense advice. And often, it may even be good advice. So I'm not saying to dismiss what people say, but you should take it with a grain of salt.

Dating misconception #1: You need to be confident when you go on a first date. Sorry folks, but this is a load of hippo dung. Do you know ANYBODY who is confident on a first date? Anyone who tells you that they are is lying. Confidence, like trust, is something that has to build over time. If you have a perpetual confidence problem, then that could be an issue. But if I hear the phrase, "Women love a guy who's confident" one more time, I'm seriously going to jump off a cliff. Confidence is a function of the other person's actions. If a woman agrees to a 2nd date with me, then guess what, my confidence level goes up. If she stops taking my calls or replying to emails, then I am not going to be confident. That's human nature folks.

Dating misconception #2: Men are more obsessed with looks and superficial things than women. Most people will likely disagree with me on this one, but I am speaking based on my personal observations as a guy who a) Does not look like a movie star, b) Can't fix stuff, c) Doesn't know crap about cars, and d) Is not rich. The first misleading thing here is mistaking obsession with SEX for obsession with other superficial things. Yes, I believe that men are more obsessed with sex and the quest for getting laid. There are likely a lot more males who are playing the field solely for that purpose. However, if you took only the cross-section of people who are specifically looking for a serious relationship, I believe you would find that more women are looking for a guy who is "hot" or possesses other superficial traits than vice versa. The second misleading thing here is that women will not answer a poll question saying that they are looking for a guy who is hot. No, they say they're looking for a guy with a great sense of humor, one who is close to his family, one who is smart...blah blah blah. If one more woman lists "sense of humor" as the #1 thing they're looking for in a guy, I am going to lock myself in a rubber room and put John Denver's Greatest Hits on infinite repeat. Who do we think got more attention from women in their lifetime, Buddy Hackett or Justin Timberlake? The key is not in what women SAY they're looking for, it's what they actually DO when pursuing men. They go after they guys they think are hot. Sorry, but this is the way it is. I can't speak for all men of course, but I know that I try to give a girl a chance even if I am not immediately attracted to her. Of course, physical chemistry is important. We all know that. But sometimes it's borderline. And in those cases, I think you should give the other person at least a 2nd date.

Dating misconception #3: Women can tell within 5 minutes whether they like a guy. Again, a big load. Look, we all mess up on dates. Sometimes we're nervous. Maybe we're having a bad day or are distracted for some reason. The same way that you might watch one episode of a TV show and think it sucks. Well maybe you just caught the wrong one. If you watch next week, you might be pleasantly surprised! If either the man or the woman wants to find a special person, I highly suggest that they not write the other off after one encounter...unless something truly alarming occurs. If someone is outright rude, if someone talks only about themselves and shows no interest in you, if someone seems like a total idiot...these are some acceptable reasons for not calling the person back after the 1st date. Things like "he didn't make eye contact" or "he was late" or "the chemistry just wasn't there" are not good gauges on a first date. Those things might be different next time.

Dating misconception #4: This one bears repeating...that there is such a thing as a dating/relationship expert. The dating experience is vastly different for each person It's a giant crapshoot out there. Sure there are things we can all do to improve ourselves, but for the most part, it's simply incredibly difficult for two completely compatible people to cross paths. Remember - 7 billion people in the world - which leads to the final dating misconception...

Dating misconception #5: It will happen when you least expect it. Remember what I said before about John Denver? Add Yoko Ono to the mix if I hear this one again. Simply put...NO! It will NOT happen when you least expect it. As I tell people, I've BEEN least expecting it for the past 17 years. So what? The truth is, finding your one soulmate out of the 7 billion-person haystack of life is really hard! It has absolutely nothing to do with your expectations or your confidence. It has a lot to do with circumstance, luck, and the willingness of other people to give you a chance. This, in no way, absolves you of the responsibility for not being a total dillhole. But it does mean that a lot of it is out of the control of you and all your experts.

Automated phone systems

2009-07-30T13:39:00.000-07:00

One of our favorite activities has to be calling a company's customer service line and wading through the ever-helpful automated phone touch-tone system. Let's examine why we so enjoy participating in this ubiquitous corporate cluster-shtoop:

Upon determining what our problem is and what questions we need answered, we dial 1-800-SCREW-ME or whatever cutesy vanity number the corporation in question has chosen. A couple of exceptions would be ITunes and EBay, which have shrouded their customer "service" departments in such secrecy, that not even the CIA could uncover a working phone number to either of these upstanding entities. Maybe a blessing in disguise?

The first thing we encounter along our telephonic journey is an unusually well-spoken voice, likely resembling that of Donald Sutherland, informing us that we have a choice of listening to options in English or Spanish. So far, reasonable and pretty clear-cut.

Next, Donald informs us that we are about to hear approximately 572 options, and that we can slit our wrists at any time during this call. I know what you're all thinking at this point - I'll just press the appropriate number as soon as I hear the option that best fits my situation. Just hold the phone a minute (pardon that really lame pun)...this is where Donald so helpfully admonishes us that we must listen carefully to ALL of the options, as some may have recently changed. Is there an automated phone system in the known universe that does not feature options that have recently changed? When exactly are these companies going to solidify all of their customer service options and leave the damn phone system as-is? Is there one person in each company whose job it is to review all 572 options every single day and randomly change those which seem not to fit any longer?

Once you have finally ascertained the appropriate option and excitedly punched the corresponding number (or series of numbers if your option is #512), father Sutherland comes back on the line to instruct you further. It's at this point that you are required to enter approximately 5,000 different pieces of personal information...of course so the evasive customer service representative can "better assist you." So, naturally, you must enter your phone number, social security number, numbers corresponding to your mother's maiden name, company account number, current home address, date of birth, and so on. You may even be asked to go down to the local Kinko's and fax a copy of your pet dog's latest immunization records. If you don't have a pet dog, you may have to stop at a pet store...don't worry, it's usually in the same shopping center as Kinko's. But then of course, you need to find a veterinarian's office nearby to get the pesky little thing immunized.

Once you've returned home with Rover, you pick up the phone again and press the # button to continue. This is when Donald informs you that you should remain on the line as all of the customer service representatives are currently assisting other callers. Sure they are. They're not on Facebook or in the midst of a heated online poker game. This message will also be repeated around 789 times just in case you've forgotten how busy everyone is. Rest assured, your call is VERY important to them. In fact, everything is fine, because Donald knows approximately how long your estimated wait time will be. How accurate are these estimations? Let's just say that if this were that mountain climber game on The Price is Right, that little bugger would go sailing over that cliff faster than you can blink your eyes. My estimated wait time is FIVE MINUTES? Right. Is that in dog years? Maybe that's why they needed to verify that you, in fact, have a pet dog, so you'll have a full understanding of the situation.

You may be frustrated by now, but it's OK. The corporate entity that is neither ITunes nor EBay has carefully selected a pleasant musical arrangement to entertain you while you wait. It's likely "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John, as interpreted by the National Pan Flute Orchestra of Myanmar, with accompaniment by Yanni. This is, of course, my favorite version of this song.

OK, so after being on hold for several days and having meticulously mapped out a Yanni assassination plot, you finally hear a joyous ringing, shortly followed by an actual human voice! "Hello, this is Xdugxzrlm, how can I assist you today?" Your excitement is quickly tempered by the realization that this person is not from your country, or even your planet, but is actually calling from a telephone control center located in the distant galaxy of Voltoon. No problem, you simply whip out your Voltoonese-to-English dictionary and follow along, all the while wondering why Donald couldn't just stay on the line and help you. It's now that Xdugxzrlm asks you to repeat all the personal information that you had previously entered into the automated system. (What does a fax to Voltoon cost, you wonder.) OK...back from Kinko's again. Now, if you've somehow angered God recently, comes the part where you may be inclined to slit your wrists, if you've made it this far. Xdugxzrlm sincerely wants to help you, but he(?) regretfully informs you that, as he is in the Completely Useless and Helpless Department, he will not be able to sufficiently resolve your particular problem. This of course, falls under the jurisdiction of the Giant Vacuum of Nonexistence Department, to which Xdugxzrlm will so helpfully transfer you. Yes, the DREADED transfer. We all know where these phone calls then go. But wait, Xdugxzrlm is on the ball today! He(?) astutely thinks to give you the direct line to the GVN Dept., just "in case" you get disconnected. Nevermind the fact that this number consists of only 5 digits, some of which you may not recognize from any alpha-numeric system on Earth.

Next: "CLICK." Two seconds later, your phone spontaneously combusts. But no worries, as you can take comfort in knowing that you've by now likely forgotten all about the fact that your most recent ITunes purchase did not download correctly. So that's one problem you won't have to tackle today.

Moral of the story: Thank God we don't have those stupid rotary dial phones any more!

It's Official: Daughtry is Awesome

2009-07-20T13:49:00.000-07:00

My days of buying full albums, like millions of other music fans, have long since past. Occasionally, there will be a gem that is worth popping the $10-$14 for, but for the most part, CDs have always contained 3-7 tracks that warrant repeated listening. It's only now with digital downloading that we have the option of purchasing only those 3-7 songs. Hey, if an album has 7 great songs, then I consider it a really solid work, but it's still not going to convince me to spend $12 as opposed to $7. So, these days, a CD has to be pretty much flawless to warrant picking up the whole shebang. Enter, Chris Daughtry, American Idol finalist and bald dude extraordinaire (I seem to have an unintentional affinity for the music of bald guys - the psychoanalysts can determine what this says about me). I purchased 6 tracks from Daughtry's debut album back in early '07. All of those songs were amazing, but still, there were some throwaway songs on the CD (not counting lead single "It's Not Over," which I like, but simply do not need to ever hear again). With his 2nd offering, "Leave This Town" coming up for release, I was expecting a letdown. Typically when an album hooks me on an artist, it's not unusual for the next album to suck. I was able to listen to the full pre-release on vh1.com and was pleasantly surprised. Dare you to find a below-average song on this thing. Yeah, a lot of Daughtry's songs sound similar, but that's the case with many, many artists. The key is to have a penchant for melody, keep the energy level consistent and not get all experimental on our asses. The new Daughtry CD, now out, simply rocks from start to finish. Well worth the $10 (pretty cheap!) for the full CD on ITunes (sans bonus tracks). In a move that can only be explained using Apple logic, ITunes offers the deluxe album for $13 (a $3 difference, for those of you scoring at home), which does include the two additional songs...however, if you purchase them individually, they're $1.29 each = $2.58. OK, so they also throw in the video for lead single, "No Surprise," but honestly people, you can watch videos for free on Youtube. So yeah, Daughtry rocks...Apple - not so much.

Off the Wall

2009-06-28T12:31:00.000-07:00

It's the title of Michael Jackson's 1979 solo album. It could also be used to describe his behavior and lifestyle from that point on. Or to describe the level of journalistic responsibility displayed by the media in reporting on his death. Or, simply to describe the fact that his father, Joe, has seemingly gotten a free pass on the suspected abuse he inflicted upon his kids. There have been some details over the years of how he whipped the boys, with Joe even admitting it himself. But, I have a feeling the truth goes way deeper than a leather belt. You don't turn into what Michael Jackson did without some pretty dark demons lurking in the shadows. Of course, Joe Jackson can't be held solely responsible...legions of golddiggers and power-hungry leeches throughout the entertainment industry hitched their wagons to Jackson's star and undoubtedly manipulated him, all while the mounting fame and untenable media exposure probably had a crushing effect on someone who was likely a fragile individual to begin with. Not to say that he was completely defenseless, but I don't think anyone can truly understand the world this guy lived in. He was quite bizarre, but also many of the "wacko" stories were fabricated and leaked to the media by Jackson himself. And were the sexual abuse allegations true? We'll likely never know for sure. Would it be surprising to learn that Jackson inflicted abuse on a child, given his own history? No need to recite the textbook cycles of abuse. But, as during his lifetime, the media continues its gross irresponsibility in reporting on the death of the King of Pop. You can see the reporters salivating at the thought that there may be some nefarious activity surrounding the circumstances of his death. Oh my God...what drugs was he taking? Did the doctor inject him? How much was in his system when he died? How many millions of dollars did he owe? Except they don't phrase them as questions...they purport that it's already a forgone conclusion that all kinds of crazy stuff was going on. How about reporting on the one thing that has been glossed over? The hideous nature of Joe Jackson. Time to stop portraying him as a sweet old man and expose him for the lecherous beast that he was and is. One only need to listen to the recording of this past weekend's phone interview with Geraldo Rivera to see the truth. All Joe Jackson could say was that the world had lost its biggest superstar, and that he would be bigger in death than in life. Not one word about missing his son. That's all Michael was to this man: a star...one to which this beast hitched his wagon of failed and unfulfilled personal dreams. One that undoubtedly provided him with a lifestyle he (Joe) didn't deserve.

I've never been the hugest Michael Jackson fan. I'm probably one of five people in the world who has never purchased a single Jackson song. But his legacy is part of many of our childhoods. And the guy contributed more to charity and social causes than probably anyone else in history. Yeah, he was bizarre, but with what he endured, it's incredible that he was simply weird and not dead much, much earlier. Instead, he managed to accomplish the incredible, despite everything that came along with it.

RIP...somehow.

The End of an Era in Music

2009-06-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

The last Virgin Megastores in the United States have now closed. With them, and the recent shuttering of the remaining Tower Records' stores, goes a piece of our youth. It represents an unbelievably unceremonious end of an era in the music business. As someone who is just entering the industry, the landmark occasion, if you can call it that, carries a heavy significance. My early adolescence through my early adulthood was marked by frequent trips to the record store...The Wiz, Tower Records, Coconuts, and later on...Virgin. As I developed a stronger interest in music, and more importantly, the ability to drive, these trips became part of my weekly routine. Other kids were playing sports or whaling away on a Nintendo controller...I was at the record store...especially after the advent of the in-store listening station. What a concept...you could listen to the entire album BEFORE you bought it! I don't know if the digital revolution represents progress or not, but ITunes and others should wake up - the thirty-second sample does me absolutely no good whatsoever. Nothing will replace the experience of spending a couple hours in the record store, meticulously calculating what my next incredible music purchase would be. At one time, my dream was to open my own record store. In crafting that fantasy, I tried to think ahead of the curve; to figure out how I would make my store bigger and better than any that had come before. Little could I know then that it was a pointless endeavor. I was chasing a dinosaur, an old relic, a memory of an era near its end. Oh well...guess I'll dream in digital now.

MLB Draft

2009-06-06T15:49:00.000-07:00

Stephen Strasburg is projected to be the #1 draft pick in the upcoming Major League Baseball amateur draft. He's already being proclaimed one of the hardest-throwing pitchers ever, has been linked to psycho-agent, Scott Boras, and is expected to be asking somewhere around $50 million to sign with whichever team takes him (presumably the Nationals). This is all before ever having thrown a pitch in the minor leagues, much less the majors. I sincerely hope the Nationals pay the $50 million. I also hope the franchise collapses within the next 5 years, while Strasburg watches from home, his blown out arm now useless for any professional-level sport. No, I don't really wish that fate on Strasburg or anyone else. But something has got to happen to give MLB a severe wake-up call. Has anyone bothered to check the history of first-round pitchers in the draft? Sure, there are the occasional gems like Roy Halladay. And young guys like David Price and Luke Hochevar still have a chance to turn in stellar careers. But anyone know where Bryan Bullington is? Mark Prior? How about the other 3 pitchers who went in the Top 5 of the 2002 draft along with Bullington - Chris Gruler, Adam Loewen and Clint Everts? All future hall of famers, right? I'd venture a guess that the majority of pitchers who go on to lengthy MLB careers are picked in the middle of the draft. Jake Peavy - 15th round. Roy Oswalt - 23rd round. Andy Pettitte - 22nd round. John Smoltz - 22nd round. Johan Santana wasn't even in the regular draft. He was signed by the Astros as an undrafted free agent. The fact of the matter is, pitching is too unpredictable of a position to risk anything close to $50 million on one college player. Throwing hard does not, by itself, punch your ticket to the hall of fame. In fact, it can often be the downfall that prevents many talented kids from ever throwing a pitch in the major leagues. The injury risk with pitchers is too great to be able to tell in advance who is going to make it. The body motion required to be a pitcher in baseball runs is simply unnatural and puts undue pressure on the muscular and skeletal framework of the arm. Go out and try whipping your arm in that motion 90-100 times in a row over a 3-hour period every 5 days for an extended period of time and see what kind of condition you're in. All the physical conditioning in the world can't always offset the longterm effects of the torture these kids inflict on their arms.

So I really wish the best of luck to Strasburg. But if I were the President of a major league ballclub, I would never ever choose a pitcher with my first-round draft pick.

The birth of a company

2009-06-02T01:07:00.000-07:00

ProGenitor Entertainment Network is officially up and running. As I attempt to launch my own business, after years of apprehension and excuses, I pause to reflect upon the meaning of life. No, actually, the pause is just me holding my breath as I dive headfirst into this pitch black ocean and hope I know what the hell I'm doing!

I wish I could just skip to the good part and start promoting my sister's CD already. The sneak listen of the halfway produced versions of the three songs have given cause for excitement. But all the annoying setup stuff that has to take place beforehand - dealing with lawyers, Quickbooks, my new and frustrating laptop, applying for business licenses, being bled dry of investment dollars - that stuff, I could do without.

Hopefully, next year at this time, some good shit will have happened.

The A-Hole Gene

2009-06-02T00:58:00.000-07:00

Another biological mystery for our world's most accomplished scientists and researchers to unravel. If they can decode the human genome, maybe they can determine what causes people to be A-Holes. I feel lucky not to have been cursed with the gene that causes this affliction. Unfortunately, this is an insidious disease that wreaks havoc on others' lives.

Say, for instance, you are a tenant living in a house owned by someone else. Say that you have paid your rent on time for 3+ years, kept the place in great condition and generally have caused no headaches for your landlord. Then, without warning, the A-Hole gene kicks in. You fall behind on rent by almost two months. Then, after several months of your landlord trying to work with you, you decide to break your lease and move back to A-Hole-ville...I mean, California. You give your landlord 5 days notice, and set a day/time for him to come and inspect the condition of the house and collect keys/garage remotes/back rent from you. And finally, to cap off months of A-Holity, you bolt before the arranged meeting time, leaving the house in precarious condition, taking the keys (to the locks on the doors, which you had changed without informing the landlord, who is now locked out of his own f-ing house), garage remotes and money with you.

Do everyone a favor please, and donate your body to science so we can isolate this malicious gene and spare future mankind a lot of heartache.

SXSW Part 7 - Softball

2009-04-13T17:10:00.000-07:00

The last day of SXSW was reserved for the softball game. I was on the record label team, and incredibly, we schooled our first round opponent (the agents, maybe?) 27-12. Second round was not quite as productive as we got mercy-ruled (there was no mercy rule in Round 1) 14-4 by the SXSW staff team. Oh well...better luck next year. We won one game, which is something my regular team here in Vegas can't seem to grasp the concept of.

Overall, I had a good time at the festival. Would have been more fun if I had attended with someone else. I hope a few of the contacts turn out to open some doors. Otherwise, I'm not sure the $1,500+ I dumped will be worth it.

Anyway, I hope you all (and by all, I mean the 3 people who may be reading this) will continue to follow my adventures in the music industry. ProGenitor Entertainment Network is in the setting-up stages, so I will try to post entries on a semi-regular basis to keep "everyone" updated on how things are going. Coming soon will be the "It's Alright EP" by Faryn Sand and farynsand.com. Stay tuned...

SXSW Part 6 - Day 4

2009-04-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

Saturday got off to a somewhat inauspicious start. The shuttle was a no-show so I had to call the folks running the service to get one to swing by. The plan was to grab food before the day's festivities began, but I ended up not having time. So onto the...

12pm Quickie Session - "In the Studio." This turned out to involve highly technical discussions regarding recording equipment, the engineering process and the like - way over my head. When I posed questions that were specific to my situation and interests, I got some rather broadbased answers. Not too helpful.

For some odd reason, I was totally fried at this point, so I scrapped plans to participate in the Mentor Session, and picked up some much-needed nourishment. The Mentor Sessions were designed to offer an opportunity to speak one-on-one with a number of industry "experts," but I didn't even see anyone particularly intriguing on the list. Looked like a bunch of local Austin-ites.

At 3pm, I attended a panel discussion on fan-based marketing. A few interesting ideas were thrown out, but again, a little underwhelming. That did it for the seminar portion of SXSW. As you can tell from my comments, I was a little disappointed at the perceived value I got for my money, but I think time will have to tell. If even one of the little tidbits I picked up turns out to lead to something good, then it will likely all have been worth it.

Crashed for a few hours back at the motel and headed back downtown around 10pm. I couldn't for the life of me find anything that piqued my interest on the show schedule prior to the Third Eye Blind set, which was scheduled for 1230am. So I had some dinner at a Thai/Vietnamese restaurant, which was pretty good.

Got to Stubbs about 1145pm, which was about half hour into the Indigo Girls set. I caught the last 4 or 5 songs they played. Surprisingly enough, they were really good. I've never been a fan, and know practically nothing that they sing, but they sounded spot on. Glad I got there early.

After a riveting 50-minute equipment check, Third Eye Blind came on at 1250am. I have mixed feelings about this one. The songs of theirs with which I was unfamiliar (read: most of them) did not blow me away. A couple were decent. And I have to hand it to Stephan Jenkins; he's an undeniably charasmatic front man. I'd heard that they had a rabid following - even years after their commercial peak - and accordingly, the place was packed to the rafters. They did play "Jumper" and "Never Let You Go," which were probably the two lesser-known of their four hits. But continuing in the mind-numbing tradition of one-hit or few-hit wonders who seem to have an aversion to playing songs for which they are best recognized, they left out "Semi-Charmed Life" and "How's It Gonna Be." If you have fewer than seven hits or so in your entire career, your setlist shouldn't really involve that much guesswork. They're about to put out their fourth album. It's not like they've been around since 1972. Unless the set is otherwise blistering, this "hit neglect" automatically ruins the whole experience for me. Sure - the die hard fans knew the other songs. But there's a reason why these songs were hits - they were probably amongst your best. And there were several other fans expressing dismay when the lights came back up. You're there for the fans, not for you. Play the freakin hits. Especially when one was arguably one of the catchiest pop tunes of the 90's. GRADES: Indigo Girls B+/Third Eye Blind (A for stage presence), (F for setlist) - C overall

SXSW Part 5 - Day 3

2009-04-02T15:48:00.000-07:00

So Day 3 started off with another "Quickie Session," this one on the topic of live shows. Still enjoyed this format more than the panel discussions. Spoke with Jordan Burger, the booking agent for one of my favorite songwriters, Angie Aparo. Also had the drummer from Blondie, Clem Burke and the talent buyer for Central Park SummerStage sit at our table.

Next was a panel called, "Artist Development meets Economic Reality." More with the speakers going off on tangents, broad discussion bringing up points we could, for the most part, figure out ourselves - more managers are serving capacities traditionally filled by labels, major label support budgets are lower these days, working as an indie artist does not provide for a glamorous lifestyle, money is in touring not selling CD's, etc. Heard a lot of it before.

Next panel was on licensing music. A few more potentially useful were Web sites thrown out here, but again, I don't think the moderator was really doing his job. They did not touch upon all the different kinds of rights that they mentioned at the outset.

Late that afternoon, I finally got to walk the Trade show. Collected some business cards. A lot of the exhibitors were Web-based businesses with sites geared towards being one-stop shops for "baby" or developing acts. Offering a variety of services including help with development of e-marketing campaigns, ticketing, manufacturing, digital retail. One in particular, theConnextion.com has been around since 1997, which generated a little more interest on my part, since many of the others were just launching and who knows if they'll be around 6 months from now? It was good to talk to some folks and see some reinforcement that indie musicians and labels have a plethora of resources at their disposal.

That night, the original plan was to see Margaret Cho at 9pm, but it turned out to be a littany of back-to-back comedians doing 15-minute sets, plus there was no shuttle at that time, so I skipped it. Headed over to The Ale House to see Rocco DeLuca and The Burden at 1130pm, but got there at 11. That turned out to be my best move of the festival. L.A.-based singer-songwriter, Tyrone Wells was going on just as I arrived. Very brief 20-minute set, but far and away the best performance I saw in Austin. Great to discover a "new" musician, albeit one who has apparently been releasing material for a decade. The guy can sing his head off. Grade: A+. Downloaded many of the songs from his latest album, "Remain" when I got home. Check him out. Rocco DeLuca turned out not to be my cup of tea, but oh well. I thought I was going to be sneaky and try to listen to the "surprise" Metallica show from outside Stubbs. No chance of actually getting in, as people had been lined up since the afternoon. Turns out, there was no chance of hearing it either, as the information I had heard - that they were going on around 1230am - was faulty. I got there around 1145pm and they had already been and gone. Not a big deal. Supposedly, some other big name acts showed up for unannounced sets throughout the festival, including Blondie, Kanye West and Jane's Addiction. Anyway, I had planned to catch a couple other late night shows, but once again, my energy reserves betrayed me, and I found myself heading back to the motel.

SXSW Part 4 - Day 2

2009-03-31T11:37:00.000-07:00

My Day 2 activities at the Convention Center consisted of three panel discussions: Music Publishing, Placing Songs in TV & Film, and Doing a 360-Degree Deal With Yourself. Basically, only the TV & Film one was worth the time, with a few useful tidbits picked up there. The publishing one was given by the Brabec Brothers, who have written an extensive book on the topic. Trying to cram all the info in their book into an hour and fifteen minutes clearly was an exercise in futility. Didn't learn much I hadn't already read elsewhere. The last one turned into a theoretical discussion amongst the panelists on what it means to be successful in the music business these days and also on the advantages/disadvantages of being on a major label. Not sure what any of this had to do with the intended panel topic. Plus, this panel started an hour late. Quincy Jones was giving the keynote speech of the convention in the same room in which our panel was supposed to start at 330pm. Someone clearly didn't want to tell Mr. Jones to shut up, because we waited an hour before they moved us to a different location.

During my lunch break, I met Anthony, a guy who works for a new Web site called Worldsings.com. They're a social networking site for musicians and they're running a contest to find the "best song in the world." Feel free to submit yours. The finalists get invited to a big bash in, where else, VEGAS, next March, where the winner will be crowned. Let's hope the Web site is still around by then.

The lateness of the last panel precluded me from walking the trade show floor, and also precluded me from hopping a free shuttle back to the hotel, so I decided to hang out downtown until the musical showcases began that evening. So I spent some time walking around Austin. This is when I truly grasped the full extent of shitholery that encompasses the city. This was also when I had my near encounter with the Austin bat community. But, the downtime did provide me with the opportunity to get my entrepreneurial gears turning, so I spent a portion of the time taking notes.

9PM - time for the Meat Puppets to play at Stubbs, I'm assuming one of the larger venues on the SXSW circuit. They squeeze around 2,000+ people into an outdoor area...basically the backyard of the Stubbs restaurant. It was like a giant frat party, albeit with a slightly older crowd. The Meat Puppets are best known for their 90's hit "Backwater," which, naturally, they did not play. So that's the first demerit in my book. They're next best known for having penned two songs that Nirvana covered for the latter's MTV Unplugged in New York performance and CD. It was very apparent to me why "Lake of Fire" and "Plateau" were radio hits for Nirvana and not for the Meat Puppets. These guys looked like you could have run into them at a biker bar somewhere in Nebraska. Also very oddly distracting was Cris Kirkwood (the brother who's not the singer) not saying anything in between songs, yet making extremely peculiar vocal sounds and flailing his hands in the air for no apparent reason. Overall, I did not get the Puppets' vibe. It should be noted though, that their 2000 CD, "Golden Lies," is quiet awesome. I am listening to it right now, just to remind myself why I attended the show. Of course, they played nothing from this album :-) Overall grade: C-

I stuck around for the next band, Gomez. I'd heard of them but not known any songs of theirs. When I left in the middle of the third song, the same was still gladly true. Not a fan.

I had plans to catch other shows, but to paraphrase Roger Murtaugh from the Lethal Weapon movies, "I'm getting too old for this shit." Just didn't have the will or the energy, so I once again retreated to the palatial Travelodge.

SXSW Part 3 - The Beginning

2009-03-28T19:31:00.000-07:00

Nothing like taking an overnight flight and then having to sit through half a day of seminars - but that is how my adventures at South By Southwest 2009 started off. Landed in Austin around 930am, made a beeline for the aforementioned Travelodge, dropped off the bags and caught the SXSW shuttle down to the Convention Center.

First up was a "Quickie Session" on Promotions, Publicity & Press. Sounds a little suspect, but it was actually a speed-dating style gathering where the attendees were divided into several tables of about 5 or so, and we got to have around 10 minutes speaking with one of several industry experts. The experts would then rotate tables so we could speak to the next one...and so forth. I attended a couple of these over the subsequent days and found it to be an interesting setup. I've already followed up with several of these folks to thank them and heard back from a couple. Just good to know of some people in the business.

Then, three back-to-back panel discussions where we basically sat in a lecture center and listened to a panel of 2 to 5 industry people speak on certain topics. I attended panels on Artist Management, Getting Gigs and Online Resources. The latter being, by far, the most comprehensive and fruitful session I attended during the festival. Online is where it's at folks. I was planning on attending a fourth panel on Merchandising, but couldn't quite make it any further without getting some food and then sleep, so...off to the Travelodge for a few-hour crash.

I headed back downtown late that night to catch my first musical showcase. It was the 90's 4-hit wonder, Fastball. The showcases featured short sets, mostly in small, hole-in-the-wall bars. This one was pretty good. They get brownie points for playing their biggest hits, which, as I'll write later, some acts feel is unnecessary. Overall grade: B+

More to come...

SXSW Part 2 - Accommodations

2009-03-26T12:45:00.000-07:00

Choosing a hotel online is always an adventure. To paraphrase the line from Forrest Gump, "You never know what you're gonna get." After having dumped over $1,000 on the festival registration and airfare, I was looking to skimp on the hotel accommodations. So I found a rate of $60 or so per night at the Travelodge. After all is said and done, it wasn't really that bad. It was clean enough, but certainly far from luxury. It's a beaten up motel that is flanked by the Highland Mall just across the way. As with many lower-end establishments, the drainage in the shower took a while to go into effect, but other than that, not too many issues. Except, ah yes, there was a leak seemingly coming from behind the toilet. The folks at travelodge quickly got the water cleaned up from the bathroom floor, but when I returned that evening, I discovered that water had seeped underneath the carpet in the bedroom section of the room. As the great Yogi Berra once said, "It's like deja vu all over again." Having just dropped a bucketload of money repairing water damage in my own bedroom, this was not a welcome discovery. But, at that point, I only had a couple days left there, so I simply advised the concierge to have the issue addressed quickly. Not sure if they did anything, but hopefully they won't have mushrooms growing through the carpet like I did at home. All in all, seeing as though I spent hardly any time in the room, it was passable. I wouldn't go out of my way to recommend it though.

SXSW Part 1 - Austin, TX

2009-03-23T22:02:00.001-07:00

Sorry, but I don't know what unenviable list you have to find yourself on in order to be considered for state capital. As someone who spent four years at college in Albany, NY, I can attest to the fact that being named the center of your state's government has nothing to do with the overall appeal of your city. To be more frank, Austin is a dump. I can't think of a single compelling reason why any human being would purposely go there during the 11 months when South by Southwest is NOT in session. Old, run down buildings, walking blocks and blocks before you can find something decent to eat and overall dreariness contribute to a rather depressing landscape. Not to mention the fact that, down by the lake or river or whatever it was, there is a sign extolling the virtues of Austin's ginormous bat community. Yes, apparently, under the bridge past which I had just walked prior to discovering this sign, resides a gathering (a flock? a herd?) of approximately 750,000 of your favorite winged rodents. No, I didn't type too many zeroes. That's seven hundred and fifty THOUSAND bats. I don't know if there are even 750,000 PEOPLE in Austin. In any case, it was approaching dusk, and I decided not to stick around for the nightly viewing of the bats emerging from their resting place. Folks, when this is your city's claim to fame, it's time to move. Austin, you clearly have a problem. Sorry.

Rumblings and Ramblings on Music

2009-03-23T21:49:00.000-07:00

As anyone who is reading this likely knows, I just spent the better part of five days in Austin, TX at the annual music industry extravaganza known as South by Southwest. This event started in 1987 with 700 registrants for the music festival, and now, with about 12,000 attendees per year, it's regarded as the ultimate networking event in the music business. Given my revitalized aspirations to create, innovate and promote within the world of music, I took it upon myself to dive right in and make a beeline for the craziness.

Since to write one, stream of consciousness bloviation on my experience there would likely result in incoherent blabbering that none of you would want to devote the time to read, I am going to post a series of shorter blog entries over the next couple of weeks. I will post the first right now. More to come...

A-Roid

2009-02-10T11:12:00.000-08:00

The steroids disaster in baseball continues. So now Alex Rodriguez has been ratted out and admitted to using "performance-enhancing drugs." I think that's an interesting term. I take Centrum vitamins...you could probably argue that they enhance my body's overall performance. That's one of the inherent problems with this whole witch hunt in MLB. The media has tried to label every player whose name becomes attached to any sort of substance as a steroid user. No one seems to care to make the distinction between someone like Andy Pettitte, who admitted using Human Growth Hormone to accelerate recovery from injury, or someone like Rick Ankiel who claimed he used HGH legally under a doctor's care, and other players who allegedly utilized illegal steroids throughout their careers in order to deliberately give themselves an unfair physical advantage. It also seems that some players' careers have been virtually destroyed by association with PED's, while others have gone inexplicably unscathed.

Another issue marring the entire situation is the blatant incompetence and self-serving nature of the officials involved in the sport. Donald Fehr, Gene Orza and mainly Bud Selig have placed an indelible black eye on the sport of baseball. How these men gained such power, fame and success is beyond the scope of any reasonably sane person's imagination. Then there is Senator George Mitchell, who was tabbed to lead the witch hunt of outing the allegedly guilty players. Not saying he is incompetent, but oh yeah, he was a member of the Boston Red Sox organization when these investigations took place. No conflict of interest there. Of course, you're talking about a sport who allowed a team owner to unofficially ascend to the office of Commissioner (yeah, you again, Selig). Nobody ever explained what qualified Mitchell to conduct these investigations. He's now a special envoy to the Middle East for President Obama. Um, what??

Finally, the biggest issue I have with the entire steroid controversy is that no one has ever been able to sufficiently outline what exactly the policies of MLB stated at the critical junctures in time. Was there anything in the sport's guidelines banning these substances at the times when various players are alleged to have taken them? Some say that certain substances were banned, but there were no punishments in place. The bottom line is: you can't blacklist players for doing something that was not outlawed by the sport during the period of use. Period. I'm not saying these guys are upstanding moral citizens or even nice people. But you can't just decide retroactively that what they were doing warrants being punished and ostracized. Bonds, McGwire, Palmeiro, Rodriguez, Clemens...all belong in the Hall of Fame. If they don't get elected, the history of the supposed "National Pasttime" will be forever tarnished.

The mail must go through...or not

2009-02-10T10:57:00.000-08:00

So you've probably heard about the pending request by the U.S. Postal Service to cut Saturday delivery from their schedule in order to stop the financial bleeding they've been experiencing. According to reports, mail volume fell by 9 billion pieces in 2008 as compared to 2007. Those same reports are punctuated by the added reminder that the postage rates will again increase this May.

My suggestion is not to cut back a day on delivery, but to have everyone in the Federal government take an introductory-level course on Economics. There they will learn about this amazing new concept called "supply and demand." The price of a stamp continues to go up every year, while the demand for the USPS services continues to drop precipitously with the proliferation of e-mail, online greeting cards and online billing and banking. I propose we cut the rate back down to $.38 and see what happens. Pure genius.

Another Bizarre Concert Experience

2009-01-17T22:18:00.001-08:00

Last summer, I had the privilege of witnessing a hilarious but sad musical fiasco when I went to see the 80's hard rock bands Great White and Warrant. Jani Lane, the past star of VH1's Celebrity Fit Club and several stints in rehab, had reunited with Warrant and promptly celebrated by showing up drunk off his ass...even by 80's hard rock standards. He warbled through the lyrics in humiliating fashion as the band went through their entire set. This of course resulted in a full refund for everyone.

I didn't think that experience could be topped, but tonight's festivities at Santa Fe Station Casino may have done the job. Another chapter out of the book of Jeremy's peculiar musical tastes...I went to see Enuff Z'Nuff. They had a couple semi-hits on MTV back in the day, but never really struck it big. I actually think they have a really impressive catalog of songs considering the lack of attention they received from commercial radio. I have seen them twice before and they put on a great show. This time, their original lead singer, Donnie Vie...another one who has had his tug of war with illicit substances...was back in tow. So I was excited to be able to see him live. The band got off to an auspicious start...sounded good. They played about five songs...the fifth being their first semi-hit, "New Thing." As soon as this song was done, band leader and bassist, Chip Z'Nuff promptly dumped his bass against an amp and headed off stage. A seemingly bewildered (and likely stoned) Vie was like, "Hey Chip...you leavin?" Followed by, "What are you doin man? You leavin? We gotta play Fly High," referring to their "biggest" hit, "Fly High Michelle." Z'Nuff was unfazed by the remarks and disappeared behind the curtain. The drummer followed suit, leaving Vie and the lead guitarist alone on stage.

Vie made the obvious move and picked up the bass. This was surely going to be entertaining. He and the guitarist jumped into what was probably a new tune, as I did not recognize it, sans drummer, and with Vie stumbling somewhat aptly through the bass part. Sounded OK. Then as they attempted to launch into the aforementioned "Fly High Michelle," Vie apparently decided he couldn't hack it on bass any longer, switching instruments with the lone remaining band member.

Suddenly, a random audience member starts waving his hands and shouting, "Hey, do you need a drummer??!!" Apparently, someone beat him to it, as another gentlemen emerged from the crowd, as Vie declared, "OK, Mark knows this one," implying this was an acquaintance of the band or something like that. Mark hopped on stage and took over drumming duties as the opening chords of the apparent show closer emanated from Vie's guitar. The other drumming hopeful still waving his hands, miffed at missing his one shot at "fame." OK, so now two more problems. 1) The "real" drummer had walked off with one of the drumsticks, leaving Mark to beat the skins with the remaining stick and...his other hand (somewhere Rick Allen is laughing his balls off), and 2) The chorus' title lyrical phrase, "Fly High Michelle" is supposed to be sung by the backing vocalist...namely, Chip Z'Nuff. All said, the makeshift band did an OK job. Mark, the newly christened drummer, was having so much fun, that he was swigging from a flask in between drum beats.

While they're muddling through the tune, the wannabe drummer guy from the audience had creeped up the side ramp to the back of the stage and was "helping out" by searching for the missing drum accessory. A crew member finally poked his head from behind the curtain with the stick, handing it to Mark, who happily continued drumming with a full set of equipment. But the little drummer boy from the audience (who was actually a stocky, 40-something guy), remained at the back of the stage the entire time.

After "Michelle" was done, I guess Vie felt it necessary to go out with a bang, suddenly whaling away on the guitar with a familiar riff. He sang the beginning lines of 60's rock staple, "Wild Thing," although who can be sure if he was singing the actual words or just making it up as he went along. About a minute and a half into that opus, they finished up and Vie put the guitar down, flipped his pick into the air and bolted off stage. Mark the drummer also exited, leaving the lead guitarist-cum-bassist as the last one standing. He flicked off the amp and probably ran home screaming to his Mom.

Then, in what under the circumstances, can only be described as a fitting ending to this blistering set, little drummer boy from the audience, STILL waiting hopefully for his break, heaved his middle-aged ass onto the drummer's stool and began ripping away. Shouting to the crowd, "Thank you very much!" and "How about a hand for Enuff Z'Nuff?" as he enjoyed his Playstation moment in the sun for about a minute. As some crew members emerged, he thought better of continuing and disappeared back into the crowd...leaving the rest of us to soak up the shock and awe of another stunning 80's metal opening act.

Only in Vegas, folks.

Priorities

2009-01-14T19:23:00.000-08:00

I just heard that the Obama camp has spent $94 million dollars on the upcoming inaugural festivities. To say that was an eye-opening total is an understatement. Is anyone in Washington aware of what's going on in this country right now? I'm sorry...I don't care who's been elected or what party they're from. This is just downright irresponsible. Like I give a shit how many fancy, celebrity-laden parties there are? Can't we trim back just a little bit on all the glitz and glamour in recognition of the fact that many people don't have anywhere to live right now and don't know where their next meal is coming from? The bulk of the money is apparently privately funded, with only the security bill being funded by the taxpayers. This is all well and good, but the fact remains, they could have taken this money and donated it to people who really need it. This doesn't make me extremely confident about how in touch the incoming administration is with the needs of this country.

Today, I Am The Greatest...

2009-01-12T21:17:00.000-08:00

...or so Rickey Henderson proclaimed the day he broke Lou Brock's record for career stolen bases. Or something along those lines. Neither modesty nor public speaking are among Henderson's strong points. But one thing is for sure; he is one of the greatest baseball players ever.

Each winter, the baseball writers association votes on which of the greatest past players deserve to be enshrined in the sport's hall of fame. The voting process is questionable to say the least. Each 10-year member of the association is eligible to vote, this year resulting in 539 ballots to be cast. Each ballot can be submitted with up to 10 players included...there is no ranking or weighting. A player must be named on 75% or more of the ballots cast in order to be inducted (so 405 this year). Players are eligible after they have been out of baseball for 5 years. Rickey Henderson flew into the Hall with 94.8% of the vote in his first year of eligibility. Amazing, right? Not when you consider that 28 people did not feel that Henderson was worthy of the honor. Begging the question...what in the name of holy fuck do you have to do to be worthy? Everyone will rattle off RH's incredible stats...most pointing to his ungodly stolen base totals and the fact that he was the greatest leadoff hitter ever. But you really only need to look at one statistic...Rickey Henderson scored the most runs...EVER. Nobody in the nearly 140-year history of major league baseball has ever crossed home plate more times than Rickey Henderson. If THAT person doesn't belong in the Hall of Fame, then you may as well shutter the doors of the facility and auction all the memoribilia off on eBay. I argue that RBI's and Runs are the two most critical offensive stats in the game. Every other number merely represents how a particular player arrived at accumulating their totals in those two categories. Stolen bases are great, but alone do nothing. They simply make it more likely for more runs to be scored. The WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME is to score runs. So the guy who did this the most times in history does not get voted into the Hall of Fame unanimously?

The truth is there has never been a unanimous induction. Quite ridiculous, since we know there have been several players who should have been named on 100% of the ballots. This year's crop of eligible players was the smallest in history...23. And there were probably about 10 players whom you could argue don't deserve a single vote, or even to be on the ballot at all. So that leaves only 3 slots that the writers should have to debate about in their minds. Henderson is not one of them. Whoever voted for Jesse Orosco or Jay Bell should be banished to Siberia.

Good riddance

2008-12-19T22:51:00.001-08:00

Keeping this pithy...2009 can not get here fast enough. Good riddance, 2008!

2008 Real Grammy Awards

2008-12-13T10:19:00.001-08:00

The year in music is, for all intents and purposes, over. I have to say that as far as my particular tastes go, it wasn't the greatest year for music overall. But here are my picks for the best of. If you want some reference as to why I am posting this, please refer to my original Real Grammy Awards post from February 2008, for a detailed explanation.

This time around, I've created some new categories because, well, these are my awards and I can do as I please. I took the various pop vocal categories and combined them into Best Vocal Performance...male, female, group, whatever. It is exactly what it says...not necessarily the best songs or artists, but best vocal performance. Only two rock categories...Rock Album, and then Rock Performance, which takes into account the quality of the songwriting, production, "catchiness" and vocals...combining elements of the record, song and vocal categories at the traditional Grammy Awards. Best and Worst Live Performance are taken from my concert-going experiences this year. Best Surprise details those artists whose releases I either wasn't aware of, wasn't overly excited about or was expecting to be somewhat "eh" but who turned out to release solid albums. Worst Surprise exposes those whose albums I was looking forward to and turned out to be duds.

So here we go...

Record of the Year
I Can’t Hold You – Dan Wilson
Light On – David Cook
What About Now – Daughtry
Broken – Lifehouse
Underneath – Alanis Morissette
Sweet and Low – Augustana
Pork & Beans – Weezer
Rise Above This – Seether
Won’t Go Home Without You – Maroon 5
Inside the Fire – Disturbed

(I'm calling a tie because I just couldn't decide between these two, so it's an American Idol coup here.)

Song of the Year
Ordinary – Tim Warren & Eric Donnelly (The Alternate Routes)
Shine – Anna Nalick
Pork & Beans – Rivers Cuomo (Weezer)
Underneath – Alanis Morissette & Guy Sigsworth (Alanis Morissette)
Broken – Jason Wade (Lifehouse)
Grace – Jonathan Kingham

(Songwriters listed...performer in parentheses if different. Phenomenal song from a phenomenal album. For some ungodly reason, they had to create a special "radio re-mix" for the commercial single. What was wrong with the original?)

Album of the Year
3 Doors Down – 3 Doors Down
Forever More - Tesla
Light It Up – Rev Theory
District Line – Bob Mould
Can’t Love, Can’t Hurt – Augustana
Flavors of Entanglement – Alanis Morissette
Heavy Weighs the King – I Nine

(Perfect blend of melodies, harmonies, pop, rock, thoughtful lyrics, and everything else needed to be the find of the year. See "Best Surprise" category for more.)

Best New Artist
Rev Theory
Jonathan Kingham
David Cook
Jordin Sparks

(It was a real stretch to even include this category this year. Not a great year for new artists in my book. Rev Theory wins a landslide here. The other three I only included because they each had a couple good songs and they're...well...new.)

Vocal Performance
Grace – Jonathan Kingham
Where Will You Go – Kip Winger
I Can’t Hold You – Dan Wilson
Light On – David Cook
Forever – Live
Tattoo – Jordin Sparks
Broken – Lifehouse
Stand – Candlebox
Not As We – Alanis Morissette
What About Now – Daughtry
Star – Extreme
Shine – Anna Nalick
Sweet and Low – Augustana
In This Life – Delta Goodrem

(Didn't care for much of the album, but the guy can sing. Kudos to Chris Cornell of Soundgarden and Audioslave fame and new go-to songwriter, Brian Howes, for co-writing a great song that showcases Cook's abilities.)

Rock Performance
Inside the Fire – Disturbed
Stand – Candlebox
Star – Extreme
Rise Above This – Seether
Nine Lives – Def Leppard
Let It Die – Foo Fighters
Pork & Beans – Weezer
Saints of Los Angeles – Motley Crue

(Didn't know these guys were coming back, wouldn't have cared, never liked their old stuff...one kick ass rock song.)

Rock Album
3 Doors Down – 3 Doors Down
Forever More - Tesla
Light It Up – Rev Theory
Songs From the Sparkle Lounge – Def Leppard
Chinese Democracy – Guns N’ Roses
Into the Sun – Candlebox

(After a career of radio-friendly hits that I enjoyed for the most part, but that never overwhelmed me, 3 Doors Down surprised me with a solid album of rock tunes. Of course, it turns out to be their worst-selling album to date.)

Worst Song
Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis
No One – Alicia Keys
Love Song – Sara Bareilles
Pocketful of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield
Realize – Colbie Caillat
Too Drunk – Buckcherry
Teardrops on My Guitar – Taylor Swift
Say – John Mayer
All Summer Long – Kid Rock
Boots of Chinese Plastic – The Pretenders
Mercy – Duffy
New Soul – Yael Naim
Something in Your Mouth – Nickelback
That’s Not My Name – The Ting Tings
Chasing Pavements - Adele
Empty Walls – Serj Tankian

(In what was overall a mediocre year for Jeremy music, I couldn't pick one standout shitbomb this year. In her defense, Fergie did have singles out this year, but I am not familiar with them. I'm sure they sucked worse than anything on this list though.)

Best Live Performance
Bon Jovi – MGM Grand Arena
Puddle of Mudd/Cinder Road – The Joint
Poison/Sebastian Bach/Dokken – The Pearl
Toad the Wet Sprocket – House of Blues
Shaw-Blades – Aliante Station Hotel & Casino

(Took a chance and broke my rule about not paying more than $40 for a concert. Great move. After 22 years, I figured it was time to give Bon Jovi a shot, since I really liked their latest CD. For $76, I got a lengthy 2 hours plus of awesome hit songs, great vocals, great energy, great song selection...hands down best of the year.)

Worst Live Performance
Live – House of Blues
Daughtry – MGM Grand Garden Arena
Natasha Bedingfield/The Veronicas – House of Blues
Alanis Morissette – The Joint

(I took a chance on an artist I don't really like...mostly because I wanted to see the opening act. Turns out, they both sucked fish. The Veronicas song selection was awful and Nastaha Bedingfield is just a bunch of noise in my opinion. The only concert I've ever walked out on in the middle. In Bedingfield's defense, I am not her audience, so I'm probably not best qualified to judge her music.)

(1/17/09 EDIT TO THE ABOVE) - how did I forget the Warrant fiasco of last summer? A disgustingly inebriated Jani Lane warbling through the lyrics to an entire set's worth of 80's hard rock tunes. My apologies to Ms. Bedingfield...obviously Warrant takes the cake in this category. Hers was only the worst SOBER live performance.

Best Surpise
Guns N’ Roses
Tesla
Candlebox
Alanis Morissette
3 Doors Down
Bob Mould
Augustana
The OffSpring

(Guns, Tesla and Offspring have all had awesome albums before. Alanis and 3 Doors have had songs here and there I thought were awesome. Candlebox's CD was really 4 amazing songs with the rest being just OK. So it came down to Mould and Augustana. I wasn't aware that either was releasing new CD's this year until they were out. Augustana's hit single "Boston" from their first CD was OK...but the album didn't really resonate with me. See the "Album of the Year" category for more on why this was the surprise find for me.)

Worst Surprise
Buckcherry
Suzie McNeil
Disturbed
Weezer
Theory of a Deadman
Snow Patrol

(In fairness, I didn't listen to all the full songs from all these CDs. But, from what I did hear, they all clearly missed the mark in my book. I simply had the highest expectations for McNeil's sophomore effort (see February's Grammy blog post). For some reason the "na-na" cheerleader sound that Avril Lavigne utilized on her latest album, seems to be in vogue. McNeil needs to go back to the kick-ass power pop and classic rock ballads from her debut. Emphasis on her amazing vocal ability. Not being the principal songwriter on her material, it's possible McNeil doesn't deserve all the credit for the first CD, nor all the blame for this mess.)

The End of Boston Legal

2008-12-10T22:15:00.000-08:00

The TV series, Boston Legal, ended this week. I started out watching it every week, but gave up on it the past couple of seasons. I figured I'd check back in for the series finale. It pretty much went out true to form...a show that could have been an amazing television drama, but instead was morphed into some kind of surreal, satirical dramedy. James Spader burst onto The Practice during the 2003-2004 final season of that show. He single-handedly took a dying show and brought it back to life, allowing it to go out in a blaze of glory. This wasn't any more evident than in the 3-episode story arc in the middle of the season during which Spader's Alan Shore defended a childhood friend, Paul Stewart, played by Patrick Dempsey, against murder charges. These three episodes, with other guest appearances by Ed Asner, Jill Clayburgh and most notably, Betty White, represented some of the best dramatic television I've ever watched. Keep in mind, this was before Grey's Anatomy, so the last thing of note that Patrick Dempsey had done was "Can't Buy Me Love." His performance here was awesome, as was Spader's...laying the groundwork for what should have been one of the most interesting characters on TV - Alan Shore. Everything about the story was dead on...right up until the final moments with Dempsey and Spader in their childhood treehouse, where, after getting Stewart acquitted of all charges, Alan Shore comes to the startling realization that his childhood friend was actually guilty. Probably the best ending to any television episode ever.

Spinning off The Practice into Boston Legal, David E. Kelley had the opportunity to explore the unbelievable emotional complexities of Spader's character. But instead, the show spiraled into a comedic mess, making a mockery out of what could have been riveting television. And the seemingly life-altering incident depicted in the above-mentioned story from The Practice was never mentioned again, despite Betty White reprising her role of Catherine Piper on Boston Legal. That character was turned into a complete and utter farce, and Alan Shore apparently got over the shocking deceit by his friend, not to mention all of his past emotional issues. What a waste.

Shaw-Blades (concert review)

2008-12-07T00:12:00.000-08:00

Went to see Tommy Shaw (of Styx and Damn Yankees) and Jack Blades (of Night Ranger and Damn Yankees) perform an acoustic set tonight at Aliante Station Hotel & Casino. These two have been singing together for a number of years in Damn Yankees, on each others' solo records and as Shaw-Blades, which has to date, recorded two albums together...the latest being a collection of covers from the 60's and 70's. Incredible performance. A little bit of everything as far as the set list went...Styx, Damn Yankees, Night Ranger and some classic cover songs. The vocal harmonies were spot on...both guys sound like they could be 25 years old. Also some kickin lead guitar from Tommy Shaw. Hard to pick a best performance of the night. The encore was a little weak, but I have to say, as someone who detests almost all Christmas music, I'll give them that their rendition of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" was among the non-suckiest versions of that song that I've heard. When you sound good, you sound good. I don't see any upcoming tour dates posted, but if they come around to wherever you are, I'd highly recommend checking them out. I'd also recommend both of the Shaw-Blades albums, "Hallucination" and "Influence."

ILike Widget

2008-12-07T00:06:00.000-08:00

For those of you who haven't checked out the music site, ILike, it's a cool place to kill some time looking for and listening to some tunes. Its software also integrates with other sites/applications such as ITunes, myspace, facebook...and obviously now blogger.com. I've added the ILike widget to EUtS over here on the right --->. Right now, I have posted some of my favorite songs of 2008. These are in no particular order and do not necessarily represent my top 17 songs of the year, but it's just a sampling of songs that were available in full form on ILike. I'll post my Jerammy nominations in a few weeks, but for now, this should be a good indication of what has a chance of appearing on that list. As for the actualy Grammy nominations...I just have no words. Wait...I do have one...JOKE. I think I used that word last year though. Oh well. I'll have to get my hands on a good thesaurus for future years.

The Return of EUtS

2008-12-01T08:04:00.000-08:00

Well, I stopped blogging because only like 2 people were ever reading these posts, but the clamoring for more (read: 1 person) has spurred on the return of Everything Under the Sun. I promise that this relaunch will provide bigger, better, faster, more thought provoking, sexier, and altogether tastier tidbits of insightful thought. OK not really, but I felt that there should be some kind of grand re-entrance. So hide the kids...I'm back!

So what happened since my last post? The Devil Rays (sorry...the RAYS) won me my baseball betting money back, but then failed miserably at making me any kind of measurable profit. The world economy has decided to teeter on the edge of utter collapse. Terrorist attacks in India. Oh...and yeah, some dude was elected president. Obviously, one can see why I've had nothing to write about. Or, if I'm using proper grammar...nothing about which to write. That just sounds so stupid though.

Yes, I voted for Obama. No, I am not mesmerized by his mere existence. I do not think he's the second coming. And I definitely did not have tears in my eyes when the election was called in his favor. The honest truth is, I fell asleep. Yes, my cherished liberals, our country was on the verge of an earth-shattering, history-making, potentially life-altering occurrence, and I dozed off with the TV on...only to open my eyes mere moments after the landmark announcement had been made. I was disappointed for about half a second...then I was like OK...not really that much of a surprise here. Even the snowballs in hell were laughing at McCain during the last couple months of the race. To further underscore the middle ground nature of my political leanings (do I actually "lean" if I'm in the middle?), I watched the election night coverage on my cable news network of choice, FOX News. Yes, that's right, a registered Democrat...who voted for the savior Obama...watches Bill O'Reilly every night and prefers the slightly red network over the others. It happens. Although Sean Hannity can kiss my ass. I have no use for pundits and analysts who only ever agree with one side. That drastically decreases your odds of being right, because I guarantee you, neither the right nor the left always has the answers. Let's just hope and pray that for the foreseeable future, with a Democratic-controlled White House and Congress, the left has most of them. I'm not convinced yet.

End of the World Part II

2008-06-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

Since my lamenting on the dearth of listenable music being released this year...and the gratifying purchase of the surprisingly great 3 Doors Down album, a couple more enjoyable, melodic nuggets have come to my attention and made their way to my ITunes collection.

Previously unknown to me, and likely the majority of others, the band Rev Theory released a rocking album, "Light It Up." A nice find.

I also downloaded six tunes from "Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace," the latest from The Offspring. I wrote last time that this was one of the new releases I was looking forward to...and it delivered. Didn't quite get sold on the entire album, but it's easily their best collection since "Ixnay on the Hombre." They show a much wider diversity in sound than on previous efforts, but don't lose the sharp melodies.

Lastly, the surprise of the year so far...at least for me..."Flavors of Entanglement" by Alanis Morissette. Never been a die-hard fan, but she's had enough great songs over the years to pique my curiousity...probably some that I should have bought but didn't. I think this is her best, top-to-bottom, since Jagged Little Pill. While she flanks a more over-produced set than most of her singer-songwriter counterparts, it works. The voice is strong as ever, the quirky and insightful lyrics remain, and the melodies and rhythms treat the ear well. The first single, "Underneath" may be my early vote for Record of the Year...albeit one that has no shot at consideration. Alanis may have lost the bulk of her commercial bankability, but this one is well-worth the $12.99.

Granted, there have been a lot of misfires since my last posting. New albums by Coldplay, Aimee Mann, Weezer, Disturbed, Gavin Rossdale, Jakob Dylan...all fell flat in my opinion. But the gems I've found from various unexpected sources have begun to encourage me that all is not lost for music 2008.

Deaf Jaguar

2008-05-23T18:05:00.001-07:00

No, I'm not starting a cheesily-named tribute band to pay homage to my favorite rockers of all time. I'm literally hoping that jaguars can't hear. Because if they can, they might be as irritated as I am that suddenly people can't seem to pronounce their names correctly.

As with the previously blogged about acronym debacle, this is a new development in the butchering of the English language - or at least one I hadn't noticed until now. Over the past year, I've noticed that a lot of people are referring to the spotted cat (or the luxury car brand name) as a jag-WIRE. Do you see the letter "I" anywhere in this word?

The ultimate offense occurred when I heard a radio commerical for a local Jaguar dealership, and the narrator made the above-mentioned gaff. Granted, it sounded like it was just one of those live reads by the station talent and not a professionally produced spot, but still - how embarassing for the dealership that their own advertisement doesn't even know how to pronounce what it's supposed to be selling. That's assuming that the folks at the dealership even know the correct pronunciation.

Score another one for the English-speaking public.

The End of the World As We Know It?

2008-05-23T18:05:00.000-07:00

It was beginning to feel that way, looking at my ITunes purchases for the year and considering the music I had taken a pass on as of April. As of April 28, I had downloaded exactly 2 new singles, which both happened to be ITunes free singles of the week, and 1 new album - the surpisingly good "District Line" by Bob Mould. There was also "Good and Reckless and True," another great find, this one by The Alternate Routes, but that was released in 2007. Granted, my musical tastes are admitedly narrow, but comparing apples to apples - I had made about 740 ITunes song downloads since I started using the service in late 2004 - roughly 240 per year!

Leave it to my favorite band of all time to (hopefully) signal a turnaround in this dismal musical landscape. "Songs From the Sparkle Lounge" is nowhere close to being Def Leppard's greatest work ever. But, for once, the band made a cheesy statement like, "We're putting out something edgier" or "The sound is similar to (insert huge 80's album here)" or whatever it was they said, and you can actually see that they made a concerted effort to rock out. The album's growing on me.

That very same day, I discovered the new Augustana album, "Can't Love, Can't Hurt." Like with Mould's release, I had no idea that this CD was coming out, nor would I have been anticipating it even if I had. It turned out to be a great collection of songs. Since then, there have been a couple other albums that were not great total packages, but which yielded a few choice cuts each. And then, using the handy Amazon gift card given by my brother as a birthday gift, I gobbled up the latest from 3 Doors Down. These guys are nothing if not consistent (OK, they're more cookie-cutter than a cloning laboratory). But this was the first time I ever bought an album of theirs...and it actually kicks some ass. By the way, Amazon's music downloading service is a nice alternative to ITunes since they don't use that annoying Digital Rights Management encoding to prevent you from sharing the songs with others or even playing them on your own damn IPod.

So I'll overlook all the musical misses from this year so far. The old schoolers who showed their age - both expected (REM and Bryan Adams), could have gone either way (Sheryl Crow) and disappointing (Dokken) and the modern set who didn't quite make the grade (Theory of Deadman, Marie Digby, countless others I can't remember). And I'll hold out hope for the rest of the year...there's a lot of catching up to do. Next on tap - Weezer, Aimee Mann and The Offspring. Here's hoping the Leps added enough "Sparkle" for a true turnaround.

Free Shit

2008-05-05T21:03:00.000-07:00

Trent Reznor is making the entire new Nine Inch Nails album available for free download on their Web site, www.nin.com, thanking the fans for continued support over the years - a noble gesture for sure.

One listen, and it's not hard to tell why it's free. Thanks Trent.

In other news, I'm going to skin a coyote alive, record its gutteral screams and make the MP3 available on this blog. No, don't worry about the royalties...this one is on me.

Acronyms and Coffee

2008-04-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

OK, so what's the common thread in the title of this post? The Final Jeopardy category is, "Things That Are Annoying Me at the Moment."

The "answer" is - Jeremy is annoyed by people who don't know THIS.

The correct Jeopardy response would be, "What is...what is the definition of an acronym and also that you're supposed to ask someone before refilling their coffee cup?"

Give yourself $10,000 if you had the correct response written down.

To clarify...I've been noticing A LOT lately, that no freakin body knows what an acronym is. Even people I consider to be extremely intelligent regarding grammar don't know. Let me enlighten you (and by "you" I mean the zero people who read this blog). "FBI" is not an acronym. "NYPD" is not an acronym. HTML is not an acronym. These are ABBREVIATIONS, people! An acronym is an abbreviation formed by intials that is regularly pronounced as a word. Auto Immune Deficiency Syndrome forms the acronym, AIDS. Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus forms SCUBA. These are acronyms.

Now, the coffee thing. Let it be said that I am not much of a coffee drinker. That is to say, I am not eagerly anticipating the day when Starbucks is commercially available for dispensation via a personal IV drip. I drink it once in a while...and never at home. So it is usually a waiter or waitress who is bringing said coffee to me. These service people seem to think that the onus is upon them to follow up my initial cup with enough of the caffeinated drink to drown all of Columbia. Here's a tip...if there is still brown liquid in my cup, do not pour any more into it. If I have not asked you for a refill, do not pour any more into my cup. And under no circumstances should you transform yourself into a coffee-serving ninja who can pour coffee into my cup from 20 yards away without me ever knowing you're there. I rarely drink more than one cup of coffee at a time, and when you pour additional coffee into my cup, it ruins the meticulously calculated ratio of liquid to sugar that I had perfected.

And while we're at it, if I order dessert and coffee, this means that I desire to enjoy these treats TOGETHER. Do not bring my coffee 15 minutes prior to the dessert, as it will be ice cold by the time my final course arrives.

That folks...are the things that are annoying me right now.

--J

Bon Jovi

2008-04-13T02:27:00.000-07:00

Concert Review: Bon Jovi and Daughtry - MGM Grand Garden Arena 4/12/08

So it only took me 22 years to get around to seeing Bon Jovi live in concert. It was worth the wait, if not the $76 I spent on the ticket (way past what I would normally consider spending for a concert). I made an exception since this was one of those bands that I felt I should see once before I die (or more accurately, before THEY die). I was actually looking forward to seeing Daughtry - what I thought was a solid opening act. They were very disappointing. But the Jovis made up for that misstep. Read below for more:

DAUGHTRY

First off, I missed the first song...not Mr. Daughtry's fault. MGM has the entry to the arena set up extremely poorly, so it takes like 10 minutes for the herd of cattle...er...music fans to get inside. And of course, this was the only concert in freaking history that started exactly at the posted time. When I entered, they were starting "Breakdown" - not even one of my favorite tracks from their CD, but it sounded great.

Grade through most of first two songs: A-

Things started to go south towards the end of the next song, "What About Now" - my favorite song of theirs. It started off amazing, with a build from piano to a hard chorus. Then Mr. Daughtry inexplicably inserted a piece of Johnny Cash's "I Walk the Line" in the middle of the song. Note to everyone involved in the music industry in any way: DON'T DO THIS! If you're doing a cover song, do it. If you're not, then don't

Annoying habit of inserting pieces of cover tunes into other songs: F (done twice by both Daughtry AND Bon Jovi...ugh!)

Annoying habit of recording versions of songs containing high notes that you can't hit in real life: F

Mr. Daughtry relied heavily on his backing vocalists for the high parts...which I guess is OK if you can HEAR the backing vocals. But it's just annoying when you realize that singers can't really sing like they do on CD. More annoying was that Chris' voice was otherwise really strong, and the band sounded great, but this detracted from the overall performance.

Finale: F-

The last two songs were ones I had never heard of...or at least I couldn't recognize them through the ear-shattering screaming vocals. This was one of the worst endings to a concert set I've ever seen and completely ruined the entire thing for me. I'm really hoping we hear better from these guys in the future.

Overall grade: C

Bon Jovi

They played for 2h 13m...longer than I've seen an act do in quite some time. When you're charging what they are, that is a very good thing. It's amazing to see the wealth of great songs these guys have amassed. When you can play "Born to Be My Baby" the second song in and then go right into "You Give Love a Bad Name" and "Raise Your Hands," you know your set list is stacked. I guess there was a brief segment of the show where things got a little less than exciting, but for the most part, it rocked all the way through. JBJ exclaimed at about the 1 hour mark, "Let's kick this thing into high gear now!" Usually when a rock singer makes a declaration like this, it's followed by about 3 more songs. Not this time. They pretty much played everything you'd expect them to. No glaring omissions. They subsituted a couple deeper tracks like "Just Older" and "Someday I'll Be Saturday Night" for hits such as "Always" and "Runaway" - but this didn't really detract from the performance. Surprisingly, a couple songs that were not my favorites, like "It's My Life" and "Blaze of Glory" sounded really good live. Daughtry coming out to help on the latter actually added a lot to it...better than he did on any of his own songs! The one sore spot for me was an awful arrangement of one of my favorite songs of all time by anyone, "Bed of Roses." I'd seen them do it this way on TV, so it wasn't a complete shock, but still a little disappointing. But then they end with "Keep the Faith," "Livin' on a Prayer," "In These Arms" (a nice surprise in the encore) and "Wanted Dead or Alive." Some finish! See how it's done, Mr. Daughtry! WDOA is actually not the best choice of song to wrap up a concert because it's a little slower, but it was the obvious selection.

I first discovered Bon Jovi, as did most people, in 1986 with the release of "Slippery When Wet." 22 years later, my first BJ concert experience (that didn't come out right) gets an A-. And their latest CD, "Lost Highway" was a surprisingly great purchase for me last year after several years of not caring too much for their stuff. "You Want to Make a Memory" was one of the best songs from 2007.

Oh and by the way, MGM Grand Garden Arena is a great venue other than the aforementioned entryway snafu. The sound was great...something you don't always find at concerts.

Peace out and keep rocking them all! (OK that was cheesy)

We Feel Your Pain

2008-03-12T22:48:00.001-07:00

So Philadelphia Phillies All-Star left-hander, Cole Hamels is the latest young MLB whippersnapper to whine and bitch about the "measly" salary he's been granted. I just have one reaction to this...blow me. Cole, if that's getting too technical for you, I'll type slower so you can understand. I make about $450,000 a year less than you do, and I guarantee I work harder for it...at least mentally. You play a freakin' game for a living bro. If $500,000 is considered a "low blow" in any occupational field, then this country must be in a lot better shape than we've all been led to believe. I guess there are no people out there struggling to find work, living from paycheck to paycheck, being oppressed by society from birth...must be a vast right-wing conspiracy to make us believe all this is really going on. But all praise Cole Hamels for showing us the light. Maybe we should just disqualify Obama, Clinton and McCain and anoint Lord Hamels to lead us through to Utopia. Just please...nobody tell him that the President only makes $400,000.

Mush!

2008-03-12T22:48:00.000-07:00

So Iditarod participant Lance Mackey repeated as champion of the iconic Alaskan sled dog race by outwitting his opponent and duping him into believing he was sleeping for longer than he really was. I guess his trick worked on me too because...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The Oscars - Ratings Down the Tubes

2008-03-01T11:38:00.001-08:00

Much has been made about the Academy Awards telecast being the lowest-viewed Oscar broadcast ever. I'm still trying to figure out how you can put a negative spin on being the number 1 rated show of the week, higher than all three American Idol episodes. What kind of expectations are we setting when 30+ million viewers and a 29% share of the total audience is not good enough? An Entertainment Weekly article cited the highest-rated Oscar show of all time from the 1950's, which raked in almost 90% of American TV viewers. Well guess what folks...that ain't ever happening again...not even close. There was what - one other TV program on at that time? There are freakin 9,000 channels, mobile phones, IPods, DVRs, and all sorts of other things sapping our already short attention spans. If you lock down 32 million people for a 4-hour TV show, you are doing a damn good job. You simply can't compare the numbers to even those broadcasts from only within the past ten years. We live in a different world now. Yes, maybe there is more of a focus on smaller, "artsier" films than there used to be, but hey, who cares? If Michael Bay or Jerry Bruckheimer or whoever wants to go ahead and make an Oscar-worthy film then make our day! I'm sorry though...the general movie-going public is drawn to (for whatever ungodly reason) Spiderman at a 10x higher rate than it is to There Will Be Blood. But are we going to honor dreck like that for appealing to the lowest common denominator? Gosh I hope not. I didn't agree with the Oscar choices this year, and I usually don't. But I know that the 300-million dollar epics are not going to make the grade. Hollywood needs to resign itself to the fact that the Oscars are the #1 game in town - albeit a much lower #1 than ever before. We should all be so unfortunate.

Movie Review: Vantage Point

2008-03-01T11:38:00.000-08:00

This is a review of the movie, Vantage Point, starring Dennis Quaid, Matthew Fox, William Hurt and Forest Whitaker.

**Spoiler Alert**

OK. I don't think this review really contains any crucial spoilers, but anytime you write about movies, you're bound to give something away that people would rather have seen for themselves, so proceed with caution.

The one knock against this film that I've heard a few times so far from critics is that the repeated flashback structure becomes annoying. For those of you who are not familiar with the gimmick of this film, we are shown the same 5-or-so-minute sequence (the shooting of the President of the USA) from the perspectives of several different characters who witness it. Each time we get to a pivotal event during each sequence, the action "rewinds" back to moments before the shooting, and we are shown the next character's vantage point. The pivotal event or "cliffhanger" that was not fully revealed is then explained in one of the subsequent sequences. I actually thought this device was interesting and unique. It's really difficult for filmmakers to come up with ideas that have not been used in film before...that's why we see so many mediocre and derivative films. So I say that the director, Pete Travis, and the writer, Barry Levy, neither of whom who have really done any previous work of note, deserve some credit for making their first major box office offering different in some way.

All of the acting performances are pretty spot on, particularly that of Dennis Quaid, who plays a Secret Service agent returning to the job for the first time since taking a bullet for the President months earlier. Totally believable as a rugged, stoic but emotionally shaken Secret Service dude. It's also nice to see Matthew Fox in a role that is not just a retread of Dr. Jack Shephard from Lost. Whitaker's character is kind of lame, but he does with it what he can.

The big faux-pas they make is, of course, laying out one of the big reveals of the film in the trailer. If you've seen it, you know what it is, so I won't go into further detail. Not only was it unnecessary to make the trailer enticing to moviegoers, but it severely impacts the emotional response from the audience during the viewing of the actual movie. However, I think there are a couple of other major reveals in the film that are not known beforehand...so this carries the drama factor despite the misstep in the coming attractions.

One positive I've heard about the film that I would actually count as a negative, is the car chase. I thought it was over-the-top and didn't really add much to the experience.

The film suffers another demerit for never revealing the motivation of the bad guys. I suppose this isn't incredibly important in the grand scheme of things, but I prefer when a movie ties up the loose ends. However, this is somewhat redeemable by the very last line of dialogue in the film, which is a nice touch (that's all I'll say about that).

All in all, there won't be any awards bestowed on this film, but as an action-thriller, it works. It's an enjoyable use of an hour and a half of your time on the weekend.

Overall rating: 7 out of 10 stars/B

The REAL Grammy Awards

2008-02-07T18:49:00.000-08:00

OK well this is my first ever blog post, so if anyone in the universe actually reads this, please forgive me for my blogging ignorance. Even setting up this simple template seemed to be somewhat of a chore for my technologically-challenged self. But...here we go.

The Grammy Awards are this Sunday. As someone who has always had a passion for music and an interest in the music business, I have watched all or part of the Grammy broadcast every year since I can remember. This Sunday, that will change. I am boycotting the 2008 ceremony. I know the music industry is going to be extremely upset at this revelation. Hell, they may even sue me, as that seems to be the standard response to everything that transpires in music nowadays. I could make this blog post a rant about the industry in general, but I'll save that for another day. My point here is that the Grammy Awards have become a cosmic joke. The Grammy voters are caught somewhere in between trying to be hip and relevant, trying to fall in lockstep with the consensus of music critics and their collection of year-end best lists and trying to pay homage to the elder statesmen of the industry - mostly to make amends for not honoring them during their prime. The result is a mish-mosh of which no one can really make sense. If you're telling me that "Rehab" by Amy Whine-house (get it?) is one of the top five best-written songs of the entire year, then I think I am going to move to Alaska and listen to nothing but recordings of whale farts for the rest of my life.

This post is going to focus on the REAL Grammy Awards...the ones being handed out in the ceremony in my mind. I'm sure a lot of music listeners have pondered to whom they would bestow these honors upon if they were in charge. Because I am a giant nerd, I actually wrote my choices down and am going to share them with you (the hypothetical readers of this blog). I have to admit that my musical tastes seem to be completely divergent with anyone else's on the planet. I don't expect anyone to agree with my choices, but maybe you'll feel compelled to at least check out a few of them if you haven't heard them before. A lot of the music I listen to is not commercially successful, so I'm giving those lesser-known artists a shot where the music industry has failed to do so. It's OK if you're on my list and can't make it to my house to accept your award. I'll gladly accept it on your behalf. Just brag to all your musician friends that you won something at the 1st Annual Jeremy Grammy's (Jerammy's?). So, here are the nominees, with my selection for the winner in red, in each of the categories that I know anything about. I'll leave Rap, Country, Folk, etc. to the experts in those fields. Note: not all of my categories are limited to the standard five nominees. With the thousands of songs that are released each year, I figured I'd give myself some leeway.

Record of the Year
A Fine Frenzy – Almost Lover
Bon Jovi – (You Want to) Make a Memory
Evanescence – Call Me When You’re Sober
Fountains of Wayne – Someone to Love
Crowded House – Don’t Stop Now
Josh Groban – You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up)
Suzie McNeil – Hung Up
Pat Monahan – Her Eyes
Puddle Of Mudd – Psycho
Disturbed – Land of Confusion

(Hands down, the one song I could not get out of my head since it's release)

Song of the Year
Foo Fighters – Long Road to Ruin
A Fine Frenzy – Almost Lover
Bon Jovi – (You Want to) Make a Memory
Dan Wilson – Breathless
Fountains of Wayne – Someone to Love

(Another clear choice...just an outstanding and true emotional combination of melody and lyrics)

Album of the Year
Lifehouse – Who We Are
Crowded House – Time On Earth
Buckcherry – 15
Suzie McNeil – Broken & Beautiful
Pat Monahan – Last of Seven
Europe – Secret Society

(This was tough to narrow down to one winner. McNeil gets my vote mostly because of how shocked I was at how much I liked an album from a Rock Star: INXS contestant!)

New Artist
Dan Wilson
Daughtry
Suzie McNeil
Pat Monahan
Cinder Road
A Fine Frenzy
The Alternate Routes

(In the long run, Wilson and Monahan are probably the most talented of the bunch, but McNeil's standout vocal performance on her album and any live performance of hers you might find floating around vaults her to the top - hope she doesn't succumb to the dreaded New Artist jinx!)

Male Pop Vocal
Josh Groban – February Song
Mika – Erase
Dan Wilson – Breathless
Pat Monahan – Her Eyes
Eddie Vedder – Hard Sun

(Astonishingly, the Grammy voters never seem to comprehend that the name of this category implies that the nominees and eventual winner need to have VOCAL talent - Groban is not my favorite artist, but when it's purely about the voice, these others don't stand up)

Female Pop Vocal
Suzie McNeil – Believe
Avril Lavigne – Keep Holding On
Michelle Featherstone – I’ll Be There
Pink – Who Knew
KT Tunstall – Other Side of the World

(See previous comments)

Pop Performance by a Duo or Group w/ Vocals
Poison – I Never Cry
Bon Jovi – (You Want to) Make a Memory
Daughtry – Home
I Nine – Seven Days of Lonely
A Fine Frenzy – Almost Lover

(See comments re: Song of the Year)

Pop Vocal Album
Suzie McNeil – Broken & Beautiful
Pat Monahan – Last of Seven
Lifehouse – Who We Are
Crowded House – Time On Earth
Bon Jovi – Lost Highway
Collective Soul – Afterwords

(Another fault of logic to which the Grammy voters sometimes fall victim - nominating an artist in one of the "major" categories, but then not giving them the win in the genre-specific categories over other artists who weren't even good enough to grab a nomination in the majors - if McNeil wins overall Album of the Year, then obviously she gets this one too)

Solo Rock Vocal Performance
Suzie McNeil – Hung Up
Jesse Malin – Prisoners of Paradise
Eddie Vedder – Hard Sun
Paul McCartney – Only Mama Knows
Ozzy Osbourne – I Don’t Wanna Stop

(Rack 'em up Suzie! Again, it's called VOCAL PERFORMANCE people...it's about the pure vocals)

Rock Performance by a Duo or Group w/ Vocals
Puddle Of Mudd – Psycho
Disturbed – Land of Confusion
Evanescence – Call Me When You’re Sober
Europe – Always the Pretenders
Buckcherry – Next 2 You
Foo Fighters – Long Road to Ruin
Iron Maiden – Different World

(If you like rock, and you don't like this song, you ARE psycho!)

Rock Song
Foo Fighters – Long Road to Ruin
Evanescence – Call Me When You’re Sober
Jesse Malin – Prisoners of Paradise
Bad Religion – Honest Goodbye
Iron Maiden – Different World

(Again, paying attention to the name of the category, from a songwriting standpoint, Grohl and Company deserve this one)

Rock Album
Buckcherry – 15
Foo Fighters – Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace
Puddle of Mudd – Famous
Saliva – Blood Stained Love Story
Europe – Secret Society
Cinder Road - Superhuman

(What a comeback story! It was hard not to give them the win for overall Album of the Year. Simply an amazing CD from beginning to end)

Song Written for a Motion Picture
Rob Thomas – Little Wonders
Avril Lavigne – Keep Holding On
Eddie Vedder – Hard Sun

(I'll admit that I don't really know enough about songs from movies to have done this category justice. But I'm not really into the more quirky selections like the Moldy Peaches from "Juno." But I do love Ellen Page...sorry Ellen!)

Worst Song
The Sweet Escape – Gwen Stefani
Big Girls Don’t Cry – Fergie
This is Why I’m Hot – Mims
Rockstar – Nickelback
What Goes Around…Comes Around – Justin Timberlake
Waiting On the World to Change – John Mayer
Lost Without U – Robin Thicke

Bubbly – Colby Caillat
Rehab – Amy Winehouse
Snow (Hey Oh) – Red Hot Chili Peppers
Apologize – OneRepublic
Ladies & Gentlemen – Saliva
Sillyworld – Stone Sour
Alcohaulin’ Ass – Hellyeah

1234 – Feist

(OK, so I made up my own category...there are so many bad songs released every year, I felt we needed this one. So sorry Fergie and Fergie fans...this is simply one of the most God-awful songs ever written in the history of sound. The other ones were bad, but this was the easiest choice of any of the categories.)

I know my first blog post ever was really a thousand times longer than it should be, but hey, it's not anywhere near as long as the actual Grammy broadcast! I tried to be all fancy and add a poll to let you vote on the Record of the Year, but in my tech-stupidity, I couldn't figure out how to include all of my nominees, including MY favorite! So vote if you want to, but probably better to just mention your choice in your comments. I welcome your input and even your criticism, but please be nice. Otherwise, I'm going to force you to listen to that whale fart CD with me.